Reviews

Regular reviews are provided for the information and amusement of GDCC members and supporters. Click on the links below to read the views, previews and reviews of our three reviewers.

Social Committee home

Welcome to a new year at Gordon, and welcome to the 2011/12 Social Committee, headed by Iain Beverley.

**********************

With Iain Beverley continuing as Club Captain, the social committee has thousands of ideas to put into place.

This season the social committee will provide the Gordon community with many highlights. It is your chance to get involved on and off the field with this wonderful club. With events already planned, the 2011/12 season will be a cracker. You can find out all about the social events by checking out or Facebook page or clicking on the articles below. Look out for the Social Committee icon on the front page for all the latest information and updates.

This year we are grateful for the support of the Orchard. We will have a more organised bar than in previous years, with cheap drinks, food and plenty of eye-candy! After matches we expect all club members to make an effort to return to the Orchard and catch up on the day's play over a few drinks and a bite to eat.

The major events this year and their dates are listed below. It is important that all club members make an effort to support these events. They will be loads of fun!!

One last thing! There will be drinks on Thursday nights after training with BBQ's to be held throughout the season.

* Start of Season Party - 8th October 2011
* Poker Night - 29th October 2011
* Sponsors & Ladies Day -
* Barefoot Bowling Arvo -
* Christmas Party -
* Stags Golf Day -
* End of Season Party -

And one more thing, if you want to help out in organising any events, or have ideas about things you would like to see in your Social Club, let us know!! Please!

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 16 results

Matt Todd All the latest and greatest in the GDCC Fantasy League at the end of the final round (round 16). Matches against North Sydney were a one day match, with a couple of convincing wins and one big loss. This has caused a few teams to jump up or fall down the ladder because their players didn't get an opportunity to perform on the field.

Matt Todd promotes himself up the batting order to secure the Player of the Year trophy, helping many Fantasy Teams along the way

However, round 16 also brought the final two teams, Frank Colley's and Tom Bangs', together in the final knockout round. In a round where Harry Evans and Iqbal Ahmed both excelled, Colley's side was too strong for Bangs', which carried some dead weight in the form of Andrew Chapman amongst others. Prize money will be distributed to young Frank in due course.

The leaderboard and results of the final round of the knockout competition are attached below.

Anyhow, that's enough commentary about the knockout competition, there is still the main Fantasy League to clinch. So, check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition and the players’ points.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	Donuts	Dave Millar	8943
2	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	8688
3	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	8539
4	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	8373
5	Frankys Team	Frank Colley	8267
6	Noddy	Tom Bangs	8121
7	Good Year	Pete Colley	8086
8	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	7901
9	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	7851
10	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	7823
11	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	7820
12	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	7818
13	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	7778
14	Mantos	James Kennedy	7772
15	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	7677
16	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	7624
17	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	7588
18	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	7571
19	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	7530
20	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	7466
21	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	7406
22	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	7356
23	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	7292
24	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	7123
25	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	7013
26	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	7007
27	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	7002
28	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	6840
29	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	6794
30	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	6736
31	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	6727
32	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	6674
33	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	6658
34	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	6511
35	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	6400
36	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	6245
37	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	6137
38	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	6089
39	Gordon For Me	Michael Donnelly	6020
40	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	5976
41	Jim Jam	James Packman	5921
42	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	5758

Name	Before Transfer	After Transfer	Total Points
Matt Todd	672	486	1158
Ed Howitt	624	498	1122
Ben Garratt	605	476	1081
Harry Evans	520	469	989
Dan Smith	461	435	896
Adam Cubbage	597	279	876
Iqbal Ahmed	428	441	869
Blair Lindsay	524	339	863
Dave Monaghan	580	263	843
Greg Lewis	440	395	835
Shayne Lin	493	338	831
Chad Soper	367	425	792
Max Newman	393	373	766
Michael Perry	530	220	750
Kurt Roughley	551	188	739
Harry Turner	419	305	724
Steve Colley	452	265	717
Jordan Liddle	392	322	714
Andrew Coleman	423	279	702
Alex Lines	383	312	695
James Kennedy	620	65	685
Elliot Richtor	331	340	671
Julian Stephenson	293	372	665
Brett Rosen	334	325	659
Adair Durie	318	335	653
Tom Carruthers	279	373	652
James Campbell	333	318	651
James Kidd	389	249	638
Scott Heaney	402	234	636
Damon Livermore	357	248	605
Justin Avendano	276	328	604
Iain Beverley	239	362	601
Tjaard Tait	268	333	601
Charlie Bangs	220	380	600
Tom Gooch	337	222	559
James Packman	268	270	538
Tom Beverley	235	301	536
David Leiboff	366	157	523
Craig Thornborough	268	233	501
Cameron Eccles	344	156	500
Anthony Sherman	391	92	483
Tom Bangs	334	142	476
Adam Aarons	357	113	470
Pat Effeney	268	187	455
Ben Armstrong	168	280	448
Reece Bombas	268	163	431
Tristan Cooper	245	177	422
Carl Kinghorne	276	144	420
Ian Higgins	148	253	401
Chris Retallick	177	223	400
Jack Colley	110	289	399
Logan Weston	274	125	399
Henry Carmichael	185	210	395
Saahil Turki	170	220	390
Dave Millar	119	268	387
Mark Fonseka	200	181	381
Adam Fleming	306	40	346
Reagan Klemt	296	40	336
Mitchell Kleem	89	231	320
Dan Richtor	175	136	311
Deva Nirthanakumaran	162	141	303
Kris Colley	134	165	299
Nick Dowsley	288	0	288
Beau Sadler	184	96	280
Alex Jackson	107	166	273
Dan Stickland	75	195	270
Corbin Edgar	139	110	249
Andrew Crosland	133	99	232
Tim Van Zuylen	93	121	214
Will Sweeney	168	44	212
Tom Cockburn	91	110	201
Jason Leiboff	152	20	172
Clem Bromwich	63	79	142
Andrew Chapman	128	13	141
Danuka Rathnayake	120	0	120
Michael Dalrymple	116	0	116
Paul Woodford	100	0	100
Ben Leighton	91	0	91
James Hand	88	0	88
Teshan Weragama	85	0	85
Charlie Stobo	22	55	77
James Partridge	32	38	70
Hugh Selby	59	10	69
Pascal Delepine	65	0	65
Richard Allchurch	48	0	48
Samira Kasthuriarachchi	40	0	40
Michael Falk	0	40	40
Jack Skilbeck	17	20	37
Dom Thomson	7	22	29
Brendan Gray	0	24	24
James Dedman	23	0	23
Sam Mart	11	11	22
Connor Jackson	22	0	22
Tom Stobo	0	20	20
Jim Ham	17	0	17
Ziggy Middendorf	0	2	2
Lachlan Borg	1	0	1

Results from Round 16 - Winner in Bold

Ranking	Team Name	Round 16 Points
7	Frankys Team	559
5	Noddy	272

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 15 results

Chris Retalic All the latest and greatest in the GDCC Fantasy League at the end of Round 15. Matches against Mosman were played over the course of the last couple of weekends with the second week being rain affected. This has caused a few teams to jump up or fall down the ladder because their players didn't get on the field.

Eye on the ball as Chris punches one through point

The leaderboard and results of the continuing knockout competition results, plus a new draw for the final match up is attached below.

Round 15 pitted the final 4 teams against each other in pairs and the higher point scorers have gone through to the final.

These results, and the final match ups, are listed below.

NOTE: In the unlikely event of a draw, the highest current ranked team will progress.

Anyhow, enough commentary, check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition and the players’ points. And for those teams remaining in the knockout competition, check out your results from round 15. If you got through, check out who your team is pitted against in the final.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	8328
2	Donuts	Dave Millar	8259
3	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	7980
4	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	7915
5	Noddy	Tom Bangs	7849
6	Good Year	Pete Colley	7737
7	Frankys Team	Frank Colley	7708
8	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	7470
9	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	7386
10	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	7376
11	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	7371
12	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	7338
13	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	7337
14	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	7284
15	Mantos	James Kennedy	7279
16	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	7247
17	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	7199
18	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	7143
19	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	7021
20	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	7008
21	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	6888
22	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	6883
23	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	6879
24	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	6765
25	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	6673
26	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	6618
27	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	6585
28	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	6545
29	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	6451
30	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	6275
31	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	6251
32	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	6237
33	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	6166
34	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	6117
35	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	6110
36	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	5983
37	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	5900
38	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	5693
39	Gordon For Me	Michael Donnelly	5654
40	Jim Jam	James Packman	5610
41	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	5515
42	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	5442

Name	Before Transfer	After Transfer	Total Points
Ed Howitt	624	476	1100
Matt Todd	672	388	1060
Ben Garratt	605	416	1021
Harry Evans	520	340	860
Blair Lindsay	524	299	823
Dan Smith	461	358	819
Adam Cubbage	597	219	816
Dave Monaghan	580	230	810
Shayne Lin	493	308	801
Greg Lewis	440	314	754
Iqbal Ahmed	428	317	745
Chad Soper	367	375	742
Kurt Roughley	551	168	719
Harry Turner	419	282	701
Max Newman	393	303	696
Michael Perry	530	166	696
Alex Lines	383	312	695
Steve Colley	452	242	694
James Kennedy	620	65	685
Jordan Liddle	392	292	684
Andrew Coleman	423	235	658
Julian Stephenson	293	352	645
Scott Heaney	402	232	634
Brett Rosen	334	282	616
Elliot Richtor	331	285	616
Damon Livermore	357	247	604
James Campbell	333	271	604
Adair Durie	318	275	593
Tjaard Tait	268	325	593
Justin Avendano	276	313	589
Iain Beverley	239	336	575
Charlie Bangs	220	352	572
Tom Carruthers	279	289	568
James Kidd	389	143	532
Tom Beverley	235	291	526
Tom Gooch	337	182	519
James Packman	268	235	503
Cameron Eccles	344	142	486
Anthony Sherman	391	92	483
Tom Bangs	334	142	476
Adam Aarons	357	113	470
David Leiboff	366	102	468
Craig Thornborough	268	188	456
Reece Bombas	268	156	424
Tristan Cooper	245	177	422
Chris Retallick	177	222	399
Logan Weston	274	125	399
Pat Effeney	268	131	399
Ian Higgins	148	246	394
Carl Kinghorne	276	112	388
Dave Millar	119	268	387
Jack Colley	110	274	384
Saahil Turki	170	212	382
Mark Fonseka	200	160	360
Ben Armstrong	168	185	353
Adam Fleming	306	40	346
Henry Carmichael	185	151	336
Reagan Klemt	296	40	336
Mitchell Kleem	89	216	305
Kris Colley	134	156	290
Nick Dowsley	288	0	288
Deva Nirthanakumaran	162	120	282
Dan Richtor	175	97	272
Beau Sadler	184	58	242
Dan Stickland	75	160	235
Alex Jackson	107	117	224
Will Sweeney	168	44	212
Andrew Crosland	133	78	211
Tim Van Zuylen	93	117	210
Corbin Edgar	139	66	205
Jason Leiboff	152	20	172
Andrew Chapman	128	13	141
Tom Cockburn	91	46	137
Clem Bromwich	63	63	126
Danuka Rathnayake	120	0	120
Michael Dalrymple	116	0	116
Paul Woodford	100	0	100
Ben Leighton	91	0	91
James Hand	88	0	88
Teshan Weragama	85	0	85
Charlie Stobo	22	55	77
James Partridge	32	38	70
Hugh Selby	59	10	69
Pascal Delepine	65	0	65
Richard Allchurch	48	0	48
Samira Kasthuriarachchi	40	0	40
Michael Falk	0	40	40
Jack Skilbeck	17	20	37
Dom Thomson	7	22	29
Brendan Gray	0	24	24
James Dedman	23	0	23
Sam Mart	11	11	22
Connor Jackson	22	0	22
Tom Stobo	0	20	20
Jim Ham	17	0	17
Ziggy Middendorf	0	2	2
Lachlan Borg	1	0	1

Results from Round 15 - Winners in Bold

Ranking	Team Name	Round 15 Points
6	Frankys Team	472
8	Tiddles Loose One's	342

4	Noddy	422
16	Tiddles Ultimates	418

Round 16 allocations - Final

Allocation	Team Name	Current Ranking
1	Frankys Team	7
2	Noddy	5

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 14 results

Tristan Cooper All the latest and greatest in the GDCC Fantasy League at the end of Round 14. Matches against Parramatta were played over the course of the weekend and some good performances were put in across the grades.

Tristan Cooper punches one off the back foot

The leaderboard and results of the continuing knockout competition results. Plus a new draw is attached below.

Round 14 pitted the final 8 teams against each other in pairs and the higher point scorers have gone through to the semi finals.

These results, and the semi final match ups, are listed below.

NOTE: In the unlikely event of a draw, the highest current ranked team will progress.

Anyhow, enough commentary, check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition and the players’ points. And for those teams remaining in the knockout competition, check out your results from round 14. If you got through, check out who your team is pitted against in round 15.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	Donuts	Dave Millar	7872
2	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	7733
3	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	7580
4	Noddy	Tom Bangs	7427
5	Good Year	Pete Colley	7334
6	Frankys Team	Frank Colley	7236
7	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	7189
8	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	7171
9	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	7049
10	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	7044
11	Mantos	James Kennedy	7036
12	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	6993
13	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	6979
14	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	6952
15	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	6855
16	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	6829
17	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	6791
18	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	6790
19	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	6709
20	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	6540
21	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	6484
22	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	6475
23	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	6458
24	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	6302
25	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	6269
26	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	6264
27	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	6246
28	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	6228
29	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	6123
30	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	5886
31	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	5837
32	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	5827
33	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	5793
34	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	5729
35	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	5639
36	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	5608
37	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	5579
38	Jim Jam	James Packman	5329
39	Gordon For Me	Michael Donnelly	5312
40	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	5254
41	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	5068
42	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	5033

Name	Before Transfer	After Transfer	Total Points
Matt Todd	672	368	1040
Ed Howitt	624	402	1026
Ben Garratt	605	337	942
Blair Lindsay	524	296	820
Harry Evans	520	293	813
Dave Monaghan	580	208	788
Adam Cubbage	597	173	770
Dan Smith	461	298	759
Shayne Lin	493	243	736
Chad Soper	367	355	722
Kurt Roughley	551	167	718
Harry Turner	419	282	701
James Kennedy	620	65	685
Jordan Liddle	392	289	681
Steve Colley	452	227	679
Iqbal Ahmed	428	242	670
Greg Lewis	440	216	656
Michael Perry	530	120	650
Andrew Coleman	423	205	628
Brett Rosen	334	274	608
James Campbell	333	270	603
Max Newman	393	198	591
Adair Durie	318	262	580
Scott Heaney	402	172	574
Justin Avendano	276	294	570
Julian Stephenson	293	272	565
Alex Lines	383	172	555
Tjaard Tait	268	283	551
Tom Carruthers	279	270	549
Damon Livermore	357	183	540
Iain Beverley	239	291	530
Tom Gooch	337	182	519
James Kidd	389	129	518
Charlie Bangs	220	292	512
Elliot Richtor	331	180	511
Anthony Sherman	391	89	480
Tom Bangs	334	142	476
Cameron Eccles	344	131	475
Adam Aarons	357	113	470
Tom Beverley	235	230	465
Craig Thornborough	268	184	452
David Leiboff	366	82	448
James Packman	268	160	428
Tristan Cooper	245	177	422
Pat Effeney	268	130	398
Ian Higgins	148	244	392
Carl Kinghorne	276	112	388
Reece Bombas	268	115	383
Saahil Turki	170	212	382
Logan Weston	274	107	381
Jack Colley	110	257	367
Ben Armstrong	168	185	353
Chris Retallick	177	170	347
Adam Fleming	306	40	346
Reagan Klemt	296	40	336
Mark Fonseka	200	127	327
Dave Millar	119	188	307
Nick Dowsley	288	0	288
Mitchell Kleem	89	174	263
Deva Nirthanakumaran	162	100	262
Dan Richtor	175	82	257
Kris Colley	134	115	249
Henry Carmichael	185	53	238
Alex Jackson	107	117	224
Corbin Edgar	139	66	205
Beau Sadler	184	20	204
Will Sweeney	168	24	192
Andrew Crosland	133	55	188
Tim Van Zuylen	93	87	180
Jason Leiboff	152	20	172
Dan Stickland	75	80	155
Andrew Chapman	128	13	141
Clem Bromwich	63	63	126
Danuka Rathnayake	120	0	120
Michael Dalrymple	116	0	116
Tom Cockburn	91	24	115
Paul Woodford	100	0	100
Ben Leighton	91	0	91
James Hand	88	0	88
Teshan Weragama	85	0	85
Charlie Stobo	22	55	77
James Partridge	32	38	70
Hugh Selby	59	10	69
Pascal Delepine	65	0	65
Richard Allchurch	48	0	48
Samira Kasthuriarachchi	40	0	40
Michael Falk	0	40	40
Jack Skilbeck	17	20	37
Dom Thomson	7	22	29
Brendan Gray	0	24	24
James Dedman	23	0	23
Sam Mart	11	11	22
Connor Jackson	22	0	22
Tom Stobo	0	20	20
Jim Ham	17	0	17
Ziggy Middendorf	0	2	2
Lachlan Borg	1	0	1
Dan Lake	0	0	0
Hugh Sinclair	0	0	0
Luke Ham	0	0	0
Paddy Murton	0	0	0
Paul Campbell	0	0	0

Results from Round 14 - Winners in Bold

Ranking	Team Name	Round 14 Points
23	Dark Horse	450
4	Tiddles Loose One's	552

7	Frankys Team	539
11	Mantos	289

5	Noddy	528
35	Presidential Selection - No. 2	266

31	The Rubsters	565
16	Tiddles Ultimates	620

Round 15 allocations - Semi Finals

Allocation	Team Name	Current Ranking
1	Frankys Team	6
2	Tiddles Loose One's	8

3	Noddy	4
4	Tiddles Ultimates	16

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 13 results

Harry Evans A late update from Round 13, with plenty being on the webmaster's plate over the last few weeks.

Harry Evans whips one over the top to continue accumulate points for his teams

Matches against Bankstown were played over the course of the weekend and some good performances were put in across the grades. The leaderboard and results of the continuing knockout competition results. Plus a new draw is attached below.

Round 13 pitted the final 16 teams against each other in pairs and the higher point scorers have gone through to the quarter finals.

These results, and the quarter final match ups, are listed below.

NOTE: In the unlikely event of a draw, the highest current ranked team will progress.

Anyhow, enough commentary, check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition and the players’ points. And for those teams remaining in the knockout competition, check out your results from round 13. If you got through, check out who your team is pitted against in round 14.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	Donuts	Dave Millar	7479
2	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	7101
3	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	7077
4	Noddy	Tom Bangs	6899
5	Good Year	Pete Colley	6776
6	Mantos	James Kennedy	6747
7	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	6739
8	Frankys Team	Frank Colley	6682
9	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	6662
10	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	6619
11	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	6558
12	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	6521
13	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	6478
14	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	6432
15	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	6430
16	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	6319
17	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	6209
18	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	6142
19	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	6033
20	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	6021
21	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	6017
22	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	6008
23	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	5985
24	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	5957
25	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	5911
26	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	5856
27	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	5781
28	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	5760
29	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	5711
30	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	5450
31	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	5414
32	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	5412
33	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	5374
34	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	5373
35	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	5257
36	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	5252
37	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	5154
38	Jim Jam	James Packman	5003
39	Gordon For Me	Michael Donnelly	4947
40	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	4804
41	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	4704
42	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	4661

Name	Before Transfer	After Transfer	Total Points
Ben Garratt	605	337	942
Ed Howitt	624	307	931
Matt Todd	672	248	920
Harry Evans	520	273	793
Dan Smith	461	294	755
Blair Lindsay	524	213	737
Dave Monaghan	580	148	728
Harry Turner	419	282	701
Adam Cubbage	597	101	698
Chad Soper	367	328	695
James Kennedy	620	65	685
Shayne Lin	493	185	678
Steve Colley	452	188	640
Iqbal Ahmed	428	206	634
Michael Perry	530	95	625
Jordan Liddle	392	231	623
Greg Lewis	440	176	616
Kurt Roughley	551	65	616
James Campbell	333	270	603
Scott Heaney	402	166	568
Adair Durie	318	243	561
Max Newman	393	152	545
Julian Stephenson	293	239	532
Alex Lines	383	148	531
Brett Rosen	334	190	524
Andrew Coleman	423	100	523
Tom Carruthers	279	242	521
Damon Livermore	357	155	512
James Kidd	389	100	489
Tom Gooch	337	142	479
Tjaard Tait	268	208	476
Tom Bangs	334	142	476
Charlie Bangs	220	250	470
Anthony Sherman	391	69	460
David Leiboff	366	82	448
Iain Beverley	239	207	446
Justin Avendano	276	160	436
Adam Aarons	357	78	435
Elliot Richtor	331	98	429
Craig Thornborough	268	148	416
Cameron Eccles	344	61	405
James Packman	268	125	393
Tom Beverley	235	158	393
Pat Effeney	268	120	388
Reece Bombas	268	113	381
Logan Weston	274	103	377
Tristan Cooper	245	131	376
Adam Fleming	306	40	346
Carl Kinghorne	276	70	346
Ben Armstrong	168	175	343
Reagan Klemt	296	40	336
Mark Fonseka	200	127	327
Saahil Turki	170	155	325
Ian Higgins	148	145	293
Dave Millar	119	173	292
Chris Retallick	177	113	290
Nick Dowsley	288	0	288
Jack Colley	110	158	268
Mitchell Kleem	89	165	254
Deva Nirthanakumaran	162	80	242
Henry Carmichael	185	53	238
Alex Jackson	107	114	221
Kris Colley	134	85	219
Dan Richtor	175	44	219
Corbin Edgar	139	66	205
Beau Sadler	184	0	184
Jason Leiboff	152	20	172
Will Sweeney	168	0	168
Andrew Chapman	128	13	141
Andrew Crosland	133	3	136
Dan Stickland	75	60	135
Danuka Rathnayake	120	0	120
Clem Bromwich	63	54	117
Michael Dalrymple	116	0	116
Tim Van Zuylen	93	15	108
Paul Woodford	100	0	100
Tom Cockburn	91	4	95
Ben Leighton	91	0	91
James Hand	88	0	88
Teshan Weragama	85	0	85
Charlie Stobo	22	55	77
James Partridge	32	38	70
Pascal Delepine	65	0	65
Hugh Selby	59	0	59
Richard Allchurch	48	0	48
Samira Kasthuriarachchi	40	0	40
Dom Thomson	7	22	29
Brendan Gray	0	24	24
James Dedman	23	0	23
Sam Mart	11	11	22
Connor Jackson	22	0	22
Tom Stobo	0	20	20
Jack Skilbeck	17	0	17
Jim Ham	17	0	17
Lachlan Borg	1	0	1
Dan Lake	0	0	0
Hugh Sinclair	0	0	0
Luke Ham	0	0	0
Paddy Murton	0	0	0
Paul Campbell	0	0	0

Results from Round 13 - Winners in Bold

Ranking	Team Name	Round 13 Points
1	Noddy	608
2	Tiddles Stuyvos	528

4	Tiddles Loose One's	506
5	Sudzies Specials	450

7	Teatro San Carlos	381
8	Dark Horse	422

10	The Saratoga Strikers	422
11	Tiddles Ultimates	458

13	Shayne's 11	412
14	The Rubsters	438

16	The Logi Bears	185
17	Presidential Selection - No. 2	518

19	Mantos	488
20	L'effet de serre	471

22	Gordon For Me	343
23	Frankys Team	579

Round 14 allocations - Quarter Finals

Allocation	Team Name	Current Ranking
1	Dark Horse	22
2	Tiddles Loose One's	10

3	Frankys Team	8
4	Mantos	6

5	Noddy	4
6	Presidential Selection - No. 2	34

7	The Rubsters	36
8	Tiddles Ultimates	17

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 12 results

Ian Higgins A late update from Round 12, with plenty being on the webmaster's plate over the last few weeks.

Possibly misclassified as a batsman, Ian Higgins takes a grade wicket!

Round 12 pitted the final 32 teams against each other in pairs and the higher point scorers have gone through to the final 16. Again, many of the lower ranked teams managed to get progress through to the round of 16 - with many of the current top 10 ranked teams failing to progress.

These results, and the final 16 match ups, are listed below.

NOTE: In the unlikely event of a draw, the highest current ranked team will progress.

Anyhow, enough commentary, check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition and the players’ points. And for those teams remaining in the knockout competition, check out your results from round 12. If you got through, check out who your team is pitted against in round 13.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	Donuts	Dave Millar	6938
2	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	6655
3	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	6479
4	Good Year	Pete Colley	6336
5	Noddy	Tom Bangs	6291
6	Mantos	James Kennedy	6259
7	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	6212
8	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	6138
9	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	6113
10	Frankys Team	Frank Colley	6103
11	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	6097
12	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	6066
13	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	5989
14	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	5910
15	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	5851
16	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	5836
17	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	5817
18	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	5751
19	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	5706
20	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	5614
21	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	5610
22	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	5586
23	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	5562
24	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	5561
25	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	5442
26	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	5379
27	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	5351
28	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	5289
29	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	5187
30	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	5077
31	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	5069
32	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	5005
33	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	4993
34	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	4934
35	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	4924
36	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	4855
37	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	4814
38	Jim Jam	James Packman	4772
39	Gordon For Me	Michael Donnelly	4604
40	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	4502
41	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	4369
42	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	4253

Name	Before Transfer	After Transfer	Total Points
Ed Howitt	624	248	872
Ben Garratt	605	266	871
Matt Todd	672	164	836
Dan Smith	461	290	751
Dave Monaghan	580	110	690
James Kennedy	620	65	685
Adam Cubbage	597	80	677
Harry Evans	520	157	677
Blair Lindsay	524	144	668
Chad Soper	367	286	653
Michael Perry	530	93	623
Shayne Lin	493	130	623
Kurt Roughley	551	63	614
Harry Turner	419	191	610
Greg Lewis	440	146	586
Jordan Liddle	392	193	585
Steve Colley	452	126	578
James Campbell	333	230	563
Max Newman	393	139	532
Alex Lines	383	148	531
Scott Heaney	402	126	528
Adair Durie	318	203	521
Julian Stephenson	293	225	518
Tom Carruthers	279	226	505
Iqbal Ahmed	428	68	496
Andrew Coleman	423	65	488
Anthony Sherman	391	69	460
Brett Rosen	334	124	458
Tom Bangs	334	100	434
Tom Gooch	337	97	434
Tjaard Tait	268	163	431
James Kidd	389	40	429
Damon Livermore	357	67	424
Elliot Richtor	331	93	424
David Leiboff	366	47	413
Cameron Eccles	344	61	405
Adam Aarons	357	47	404
Iain Beverley	239	159	398
James Packman	268	120	388
Craig Thornborough	268	113	381
Tom Beverley	235	143	378
Charlie Bangs	220	148	368
Justin Avendano	276	92	368
Pat Effeney	268	100	368
Tristan Cooper	245	120	365
Reece Bombas	268	92	360
Adam Fleming	306	40	346
Carl Kinghorne	276	70	346
Logan Weston	274	69	343
Ben Armstrong	168	174	342
Reagan Klemt	296	40	336
Nick Dowsley	288	0	288
Saahil Turki	170	110	280
Mark Fonseka	200	70	270
Ian Higgins	148	119	267
Chris Retallick	177	85	262
Jack Colley	110	150	260
Dave Millar	119	138	257
Henry Carmichael	185	53	238
Deva Nirthanakumaran	162	60	222
Corbin Edgar	139	66	205
Mitchell Kleem	89	113	202
Dan Richtor	175	24	199
Beau Sadler	184	0	184
Kris Colley	134	42	176
Jason Leiboff	152	20	172
Will Sweeney	168	0	168
Alex Jackson	107	52	159
Andrew Chapman	128	5	133
Andrew Crosland	133	0	133
Danuka Rathnayake	120	0	120
Michael Dalrymple	116	0	116
Clem Bromwich	63	51	114
Paul Woodford	100	0	100
Tim Van Zuylen	93	0	93
Tom Cockburn	91	0	91
Ben Leighton	91	0	91
Dan Stickland	75	15	90
James Hand	88	0	88
Teshan Weragama	85	0	85
Charlie Stobo	22	55	77
James Partridge	32	38	70
Pascal Delepine	65	0	65
Hugh Selby	59	0	59
Richard Allchurch	48	0	48
Samira Kasthuriarachchi	40	0	40
Dom Thomson	7	22	29
Brendan Gray	0	24	24
James Dedman	23	0	23
Sam Mart	11	11	22
Connor Jackson	22	0	22
Tom Stobo	0	20	20
Jack Skilbeck	17	0	17
Jim Ham	17	0	17
Lachlan Borg	1	0	1
Dan Lake	0	0	0
Hugh Sinclair	0	0	0
Luke Ham	0	0	0
Paddy Murton	0	0	0
Paul Campbell	0	0	0

Results from Round 12 - Winners in Bold

Ranking	Team Name	Round 12 Points
11	Frankys Team	778
33	Midnight Express	577

21	Dark Horse	615
10	Cubby Lad's XI	546

1	Donuts	667
18	Tiddles Ultimates	694

19	The Logi Bears	816
41	Hicko's Heroes 2	501

34	Teatro San Carlos	674
22	Taitsters 11	496

16	Sudzies Specials	1008
2	Pickers XI	527

15	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	480
36	Presidential Selection - No. 2	650

3	The Saratoga Strikers	732
5	Good Year	705

42	Curry Munchers	445
29	L'effet de serre	675

25	Sudzies Roughies	505
38	Gordon For Me	515

14	Turki's XI	615
12	Shayne's 11	724

17	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	413
6	Tiddles Loose One's	564

7	Mantos	771
13	Harold's XI	442

23	Tiddles Stuyvos	584
4	Spin Twins	470

20	Gordon's Time	559
8	Noddy	716

9	Dowse's Cronies	593
39	The Rubsters	733

Round 13 allocations

Allocation	Team Name	Current Ranking
1	Noddy	5
2	Tiddles Stuyvos	20

3	Tiddles Loose One's	9
4	Sudzies Specials	7

5	Teatro San Carlos	31
6	Dark Horse	22

7	The Saratoga Strikers	2
8	Tiddles Ultimates	18

9	Shayne's 11	12
10	The Rubsters	37

11	The Logi Bears	16
12	Presidential Selection - No. 2	36

13	Mantos	6
14	L'effet de serre	28

15	Gordon For Me	39
16	Frankys Team	10

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 11 results

With 11 rounds now completed after the matches against Campbelltown-Camden and the preliminary knockout phase of the secondary competition now complete, the leaderboard and knockout competition results and new draw are attached below.

It's had not to put another photo of Benny Garratt up on the website after a hat trick!

Round 11 pitted the bottom 20 teams against each other in pairs and the higher point scorers have gone through to the final 32. Interestingly, many of the lower ranked teams managed to get progress through to the round of 32.

These results, and the final 32 match ups, are listed below.

NOTE: In the unlikely event of a draw, the highest current ranked team will progress.

Finally, the match played by 1st Grade this Thursday against Penrith will not be included in the knockout competition (as it was a round 7 match) and will be included in the first half of the season's points (i.e. in the teams before the transfer window).

Anyhow, enough commentary, check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition and the players’ points. And for those teams in the bottom 20, check out your results from round 11. All the rest, check out who your team is pitted against in round 12.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	Donuts	Dave Millar	6222
2	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	5802
3	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	5768
4	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	5538
5	Good Year	Pete Colley	5521
6	Noddy	Tom Bangs	5470
7	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	5454
8	Mantos	James Kennedy	5418
9	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	5404
10	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	5363
11	Frankys Team	Frank Colley	5290
12	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	5284
13	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	5282
14	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	5216
15	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	5180
16	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	5154
17	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	5119
18	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	5072
19	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	4972
20	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	4925
20	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	4925
22	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	4916
23	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	4871
24	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	4828
25	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	4789
25	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	4789
27	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	4737
28	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	4683
29	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	4564
30	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	4516
31	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	4445
32	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	4387
33	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	4366
34	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	4360
35	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	4229
36	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	4201
37	Jim Jam	James Packman	4171
38	Gordon For Me	Michael Donnelly	4054
39	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	4016
40	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	4012
41	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	3927
42	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	3823

Name	Before Transfer	After Transfer	Total Points
Matt Todd	657	164	821
Ben Garratt	605	202	807
Ed Howitt	624	140	764
Blair Lindsay	539	105	644
James Kennedy	600	42	642
Adam Cubbage	597	41	638
Harry Evans	520	107	627
Dave Monaghan	565	50	615
Dan Smith	441	146	587
Michael Perry	530	44	574
Kurt Roughley	551	2	553
Shayne Lin	493	56	549
Chad Soper	352	164	516
Greg Lewis	441	68	509
Alex Lines	383	94	477
Steve Colley	452	17	469
Scott Heaney	402	65	467
Jordan Liddle	377	86	463
Andrew Coleman	423	30	453
Harry Turner	419	31	450
Iqbal Ahmed	428	20	448
James Campbell	333	112	445
Anthony Sherman	371	69	440
Max Newman	373	66	439
James Kidd	389	40	429
Tom Bangs	334	80	414
Adam Aarons	372	40	412
Tom Carruthers	279	131	410
Julian Stephenson	293	115	408
Damon Livermore	342	58	400
Tom Gooch	337	50	387
Brett Rosen	334	48	382
Adair Durie	318	63	381
David Leiboff	381	0	381
Cameron Eccles	344	32	376
Elliot Richtor	331	39	370
James Packman	268	86	354
Reece Bombas	268	70	338
Tjaard Tait	268	70	338
Pat Effeney	268	60	328
Craig Thornborough	268	59	327
Ben Armstrong	168	154	322
Logan Weston	274	46	320
Tom Beverley	235	71	306
Reagan Klemt	296	0	296
Tristan Cooper	245	50	295
Charlie Bangs	220	73	293
Nick Dowsley	288	0	288
Iain Beverley	224	61	285
Justin Avendano	276	9	285
Carl Kinghorne	276	0	276
Adam Fleming	231	40	271
Chris Retallick	177	85	262
Mark Fonseka	200	54	254
Henry Carmichael	200	53	253
Saahil Turki	155	76	231
Dan Richtor	190	24	214
Jack Colley	110	101	211
Corbin Edgar	139	66	205
Beau Sadler	184	0	184
Ian Higgins	148	26	174
Kris Colley	134	36	170
Will Sweeney	168	0	168
Deva Nirthanakumaran	162	0	162
Jason Leiboff	137	20	157
Alex Jackson	107	49	156
Dave Millar	119	35	154
Mitchell Kleem	89	57	146
Andrew Chapman	128	5	133
Andrew Crosland	133	0	133
Danuka Rathnayake	120	0	120
Michael Dalrymple	116	0	116
James Hand	103	0	103
Clem Bromwich	63	34	97
Tim Van Zuylen	93	0	93
Tom Cockburn	91	0	91
Ben Leighton	91	0	91
Dan Stickland	75	15	90
Teshan Weragama	85	0	85
Paul Woodford	80	0	80
Charlie Stobo	22	55	77
Pascal Delepine	65	0	65
James Partridge	32	32	64
Hugh Selby	59	0	59
Richard Allchurch	48	0	48
Samira Kasthuriarachchi	40	0	40
James Dedman	23	0	23
Connor Jackson	22	0	22
Tom Stobo	0	20	20
Jack Skilbeck	17	0	17
Jim Ham	17	0	17
Dom Thomson	7	7	14
Sam Mart	11	0	11
Lachlan Borg	1	0	1
Dan Lake	0	0	0
Hugh Sinclair	0	0	0
Luke Ham	0	0	0
Paddy Murton	0	0	0
Paul Campbell	0	0	0

Allocation	Team Name	Current Ranking
1	Frankys Team	11
2	Midnight Express	33

3	Dark Horse	22
4	Cubby Lad's XI	10

5	Donuts	1
6	Tiddles Ultimates	18

7	The Logi Bears	20
8	Hicko's Heroes 2	41

9	Teatro San Carlos	34
10	Taitsters 11	23

11	Sudzies Specials	16
12	Pickers XI	2

13	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	14
14	Presidential Selection - No. 2	36

15	The Saratoga Strikers	3
16	Good Year	5

17	Curry Munchers	42
18	L'effet de serre	29

19	Sudzies Roughies	26
20	Gordon For Me	38

21	Turki's XI	15
22	Shayne's 11	13

23	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	17
24	Tiddles Loose One's	7

25	Mantos	8
26	Harold's XI	12

27	Tiddles Stuyvos	21
28	Spin Twins	4

29	Gordon's Time	19
30	Noddy	6

31	Dowse's Cronies	9
32	The Rubsters	39

Allocation	Team Name	Round 11 Points
1	Marcus' Minions	288
2	Midnight Express	443

3	Presidential Selection - No. 1	245
4	Hicko's Heroes 2	249

5	L'effet de serre	313
6	Hicko's Heroes 1	203

7	Presidential Selection - No. 2	305
8	The Liddle Taiters	259

9	Cubby Dad 1	186
10	Curry Munchers	346

11	Gentley Bentley	241
12	Teatro San Carlos	359

13	The Rubsters	401
14	#cubbyforcaptain	314

15	Sudzies Roughies	367
16	Jim Jam	286

17	Gordon For Me	289
18	Big Time	147

19	Tiddles Stuyvos	358
20	Next Year of the Dog	242

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 10 results

Ben Garratt With the first 10 rounds completed and the fantasy league transfer window now shut, the leaderboard is attached below. The big winner from the weekend was Ed Howitt Snr, who capitalised on the transfer window to move into 3rd place (pity about the rest of his sides).

Yes Benny Garratt - Double points for BG as skipper as he takes 6 wickets!

Also, there were a few teams that managed to get themselves into the top 22 and avoid the preliminary knockout phase of the second Fantasy League competition.

Round 11 will pit the bottom 20 teams against each other in pairs and the higher point scorers will go through to the final 32.

NOTE: In the unlikely event of a draw, the highest current ranked team will progress.

Anyhow, enough commentary, check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition and the players’ points. And for those teams in the bottom 20, check out who your competition is for round 11.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	Donuts	Dave Millar	5739
2	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	5295
3	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	5268
4	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	5267
5	Good Year	Pete Colley	5171
6	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	5146
7	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	5116
8	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	5111
9	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	5103
10	Frankys Team	Frank Colley	5093
11	Noddy	Tom Bangs	5068
12	Mantos	James Kennedy	5035
13	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	4906
14	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	4856
15	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	4841
16	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	4812
17	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	4749
18	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	4747
19	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	4719
20	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	4687
21	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	4685
22	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	4636
23	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	4625
24	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	4567
25	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	4536
26	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	4530
27	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	4423
28	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	4422
29	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	4259
30	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	4251
31	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	4228
32	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	4146
33	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	4001
34	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	3987
35	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	3923
36	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	3896
37	Jim Jam	James Packman	3885
38	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	3767
39	Gordon For Me	Michael Donnelly	3765
40	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	3678
41	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	3615
42	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	3477

Name	Before Transfer	After Transfer	Total Points
Matt Todd	657	120	777
Ben Garratt	605	127	732
Ed Howitt	624	52	676
Adam Cubbage	597	41	638
Blair Lindsay	539	90	629
James Kennedy	600	22	622
Dave Monaghan	565	50	615
Harry Evans	520	75	595
Michael Perry	530	40	570
Kurt Roughley	551	0	551
Dan Smith	441	101	542
Shayne Lin	493	39	532
Steve Colley	452	7	459
Greg Lewis	441	15	456
Andrew Coleman	423	30	453
Iqbal Ahmed	428	20	448
Scott Heaney	402	35	437
Harry Turner	419	16	435
Alex Lines	383	45	428
Jordan Liddle	377	42	419
Max Newman	373	46	419
Chad Soper	352	64	416
Anthony Sherman	371	44	415
Tom Bangs	334	80	414
Adam Aarons	372	40	412
James Kidd	389	20	409
Tom Gooch	337	50	387
David Leiboff	381	0	381
Brett Rosen	334	38	372
Julian Stephenson	293	75	368
James Campbell	333	21	354
Tom Carruthers	279	70	349
Cameron Eccles	344	4	348
Damon Livermore	342	0	342
Tjaard Tait	268	70	338
James Packman	268	65	333
Elliot Richtor	331	0	331
Adair Durie	318	3	321
Tom Beverley	235	71	306
Logan Weston	274	23	297
Reagan Klemt	296	0	296
Craig Thornborough	268	20	288
Nick Dowsley	288	0	288
Justin Avendano	276	0	276
Carl Kinghorne	276	0	276
Reece Bombas	268	1	269
Pat Effeney	268	0	268
Tristan Cooper	245	11	256
Iain Beverley	224	31	255
Mark Fonseka	200	54	254
Henry Carmichael	200	53	253
Chris Retallick	177	71	248
Adam Fleming	231	0	231
Charlie Bangs	220	0	220
Ben Armstrong	168	47	215
Saahil Turki	155	55	210
Dan Richtor	190	19	209
Beau Sadler	184	0	184
Corbin Edgar	139	35	174
Will Sweeney	168	0	168
Deva Nirthanakumaran	162	0	162
Ian Higgins	148	13	161
Jason Leiboff	137	20	157
Dave Millar	119	35	154
Jack Colley	110	43	153
Kris Colley	134	17	151
Alex Jackson	107	27	134
Andrew Crosland	133	0	133
Andrew Chapman	128	0	128
Danuka Rathnayake	120	0	120
Michael Dalrymple	116	0	116
Mitchell Kleem	89	22	111
James Hand	103	0	103
Clem Bromwich	63	34	97
Tim Van Zuylen	93	0	93
Tom Cockburn	91	0	91
Ben Leighton	91	0	91
Dan Stickland	75	15	90
Teshan Weragama	85	0	85
Paul Woodford	80	0	80
Charlie Stobo	22	55	77
Pascal Delepine	65	0	65
James Partridge	32	32	64
Hugh Selby	59	0	59
Richard Allchurch	48	0	48
Samira Kasthuriarachchi	40	0	40
James Dedman	23	0	23
Connor Jackson	22	0	22
Tom Stobo	0	20	20
Jack Skilbeck	17	0	17
Jim Ham	17	0	17
Dom Thomson	7	7	14
Sam Mart	11	0	11
Lachlan Borg	1	0	1
Dan Lake	0	0	0
Hugh Sinclair	0	0	0
Luke Ham	0	0	0
Paddy Murton	0	0	0
Paul Campbell	0	0	0

Allocation	Team Name	Current Ranking
1	Marcus' Minions	31
2	Midnight Express	35

3	Presidential Selection - No. 1	38
4	Hicko's Heroes 2	40

5	L'effet de serre	30
6	Hicko's Heroes 1	23

7	Presidential Selection - No. 2	36
8	The Liddle Taiters	26

9	Cubby Dad 1	29
10	Curry Munchers	42

11	Gentley Bentley	32
12	Teatro San Carlos	33

13	The Rubsters	41
14	#cubbyforcaptain	27

15	Sudzies Roughies	28
16	Jim Jam	37

17	Gordon For Me	39
18	Big Time	25

19	Tiddles Stuyvos	24
20	Next Year of the Dog	34

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 9 results

With nine rounds completed and the fantasy league transfer window shortly closing, the leaderboard is attached below. Dave Millar’s “Donuts” – with Ben Garratt as captain (collecting 240 points for his 6 wickets on the weekend) and strong performances from Matt Todd, James Kennedy and Michael Perry - have overtaken James Kennedy’s “Mantos” to be in first place.

Although needing no introduction, Ed Howitt, one of our leading point scorers in 2011/12

“Tiddles Jaeger Bombs” have done exactly that, and fallen down the table. Whilst “Franky’s Team” has rocketed up the table to be just one point behind “Mantos”. Ed Howitt Snr’s “Saratoga Strikers” have also risen well up the table to be just behind in seventh.

As for the rest of Snr’s teams, they are comfortably dwelling in the cellar, along with the club president’s selections.

To access the transfer period, you need to act before Saturday. The competition leader is switching out two of his 5th Grade players despite them being on top of the competition ladder and certain to accumulate fantasy points well into the finals.

Anyhow, enough commentary, check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition and the players’ points.

From the beginning of round 11, until the completion of round 16, we will be running a secondary competition. This will be a knockout competition, similar to a tennis grand slam competition. The bottom 20 teams at the end of round 10 will be paired up and the highest point scorer from each pair in round 11 will progress to a final 32. Each week, the teams will be paired up and the highest point scorer in each pair will progress until the final regular season round, where the final two fantasy team owners will compete in the final.

As you well know, this year has seen a change in the point scoring, with a simplified structure in place; 1 point for each run; 15 points for a catch; 20 points for a stumping; 20 points for a wicket.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	Donuts	Dave Millar	5097
2	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	4912
3	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	4911
4	Good Year	Pete Colley	4799
5	Mantos	James Kennedy	4744
6	Franky's Team	Frank Colley	4743
7	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	4718
8	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	4712
9	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	4667
10	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	4631
11	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	4627
12	Noddy	Tom Bangs	4625
13	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	4534
14	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	4527
15	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	4468
16	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	4434
17	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	4390
18	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	4367
19	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	4282
20	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	4257
21	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	4235
22	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	4221
23	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	4212
24	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	4175
25	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	4123
26	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	4088
27	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	4000
28	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	3966
29	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	3905
30	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	3895
31	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	3891
32	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	3875
33	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	3706
34	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	3652
35	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	3596
36	Jim Jam	James Packman	3564
37	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	3560
38	Gordon For Me	Michael Donnelly	3429
39	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	3374
40	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	3369
41	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	3251
42	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	2999

Name	Points
Matt Todd	657
Ed Howitt	624
Ben Garratt	605
James Kennedy	600
Adam Cubbage	597
Dave Monaghan	565
Kurt Roughley	551
Blair Lindsay	539
Michael Perry	530
Harry Evans	520
Shayne Lin	493
Steve Colley	452
Dan Smith	441
Greg Lewis	441
Iqbal Ahmed	428
Andrew Coleman	423
Harry Turner	419
Scott Heaney	402
James Kidd	389
Alex Lines	383
David Leiboff	381
Jordan Liddle	377
Max Newman	373
Adam Aarons	372
Anthony Sherman	371
Chad Soper	352
Cameron Eccles	344
Damon Livermore	342
Tom Gooch	337
Brett Rosen	334
Tom Bangs	334
James Campbell	333
Elliot Richtor	331
Adair Durie	318
Reagan Klemt	296
Julian Stephenson	293
Nick Dowsley	288
Tom Carruthers	279
Justin Avendano	276
Carl Kinghorne	276
Logan Weston	274
Craig Thornborough	268
James Packman	268
Pat Effeney	268
Reece Bombas	268
Tjaard Tait	268
Tristan Cooper	245
Tom Beverley	235
Adam Fleming	231
Iain Beverley	224
Charlie Bangs	220
Henry Carmichael	200
Mark Fonseka	200
Dan Richtor	190
Beau Sadler	184
Chris Retallick	177
Ben Armstrong	168
Will Sweeney	168
Deva Nirthanakumaran	162
Saahil Turki	155
Ian Higgins	148
Corbin Edgar	139
Jason Leiboff	137
Kris Colley	134
Andrew Crosland	133
Andrew Chapman	128
Danuka Rathnayake	120
Dave Millar	119
Michael Dalrymple	116
Jack Colley	110
Alex Jackson	107
James Hand	103
Tim Van Zuylen	93
Tom Cockburn	91
Ben Leighton	91
Mitchell Kleem	89
Teshan Weragama	85
Paul Woodford	80
Dan Stickland	75
Pascal Delepine	65
Clem Bromwich	63
Hugh Selby	59
Richard Allchurch	48
Samira Kasthuriarachchi	40
James Partridge	32
James Dedman	23
Connor Jackson	22
Charlie Stobo	22
Jack Skilbeck	17
Jim Ham	17
Sam Mart	11
Dom Thomson	7
Lachlan Borg	1
Hugh Sinclair	0
Paddy Murton	0
Paul Campbell	0

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Transfer Period

To coincide with the break from playing over the Xmas/New Year Holiday period, the Gordon Fantasy League Management team is giving every franchise owner the opportunity to make 2 (changes) changes to their Fantasy Teams. The nominated captain of the side can be changed AS ONE OF THESE CHANGES. Choose wisely, these changes are vital to your continued success!

The transfer team sheet can be found here.
Look out for the new players added since the start of the season.

* Reagan Klempt - Bat - $60,000
* Ben Leighton - Bowl - $50,000
* Richard Allchurch - Bat - $40,000
* Dan Richtor - All rounder - $70,000
* Dan Strickland - Bowl - $40,000

There are of course some conditions, they are as follows:

* Only team owners who have payed the $10 entry fee can make changes.
* You can only replace like players (batsmen for batsmen etc).

Teams must still stay under the $1,000,000 salary cap ($1,050,000 if you had paid early) and meet all the original conditions
1. Must have 11 players (5 batsmen, 4 bowlers, 2 all-rounders)
2. Nominated Captain who receives double points.

Only a maximum of 2 changes can be made per team. The nominated captain can be changed AS ONE OF THE CHANGES.

Transfers must be submitted to a member of the Fantasy League Management Team prior to the commencement of play on Saturday the 14th of January - Yes, due to the late notification, the One Day / T20 round on 7th January will be included in the first half of the season.

Any transfers received after this date will be disregarded.

An electronic team sheet is the method that will be used to submit the changes to the teams. The team sheet can be found here.

This team sheet needs to be attached to an email and submitted to tdmillar@gmail.com or printed out and handed into Ed Howitt personally.

Good luck!
Gordon Fantasy League Management

Fantasy League 2011/12 - Round 3 results

With three rounds completed, and the captains having entered all the scores into the myCricket site, it is some of the usual suspects at the top of the leaderboard... and some of the usual suspects following behind.

This year has seen a change in the point scoring, with a simplified structure in place. 1 point for each run. 15 points for a catch. 20 points for a stumping. 20 points for a wicket.

Check out the current points table below in the aggregate competition.

As we said at the start of the season, we will be running a secondary competition from round 11 until round 16. This will be a knockout competition, similar to a tennis grand slam competition. The bottom 18 teams at the end of round 10 will be paired up and the highest point scorer from each pair in round 11 will progress to a final 32. Each week, the teams will be paired up and the highest point scorer in each pair will progress until round 16, where the final two owners will compete in the final.

Rank	Team Name	Team Owner	Points
1	Mantos	James Kennedy	2362
2	Dowse's Cronies	Nick Dowsley	2281
3	Spin Twins	Ed Howitt Jnr	2275
4	Tiddles Jaegar Bombs	Tony Wilson	2274
5	Donuts	Dave Millar	2256
6	Shayne's 11	Shayne Lin	2183
7	Pickers XI	Mark Carmichael	2176
8	Good Year	Pete Colley	2176
9	Tiddles Loose One's	Tony Wilson	2167
10	Noddy	Tom Bangs	2160
11	Big Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	2133
12	Tiddles Ultimates	Tony Wilson	2115
13	Dark Horse	Michael Perry	2100
14	Hicko's Heroes 1	Geoff Hickman	2097
15	Turki's XI	Saahil Turki	2092
16	Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle	Liz Swinburn	2056
17	Gordon's Time	Ed Howitt Jnr	2043
18	Taitsters 11	Tjaard Tait	2020
19	The Saratoga Strikers	Ed Howitt Snr	1935
20	Harold's XI	Harry Evans	1911
21	Cubby Lad's XI	Adam Cubbage	1909
22	Teatro San Carlos	Ed Howitt Snr	1897
23	Presidential Selection - No. 1	Andrew Falk	1893
24	Tiddles Stuyvos	Tony Wilson	1882
25	#cubbyforcaptain	Alex Lines	1862
26	The Logi Bears	Logan Weston	1849
27	Franky's Team	Frank Colley	1848
28	Sudzies Specials	Jamie Soper	1842
29	Marcus' Minions	Dan Smith	1803
30	Next Year of the Dog	Pascal Delepine	1802
31	Cubby Dad 1	Tim Cubbage	1788
32	Sudzies Roughies	Jamie Soper	1730
33	Jim Jam	James Packman	1650
34	L'effet de serre	Max Newman	1639
35	Hicko's Heroes 2	Geoff Hickman	1538
36	The Liddle Taiters	George Bromwich	1535
37	Midnight Express	Julian Stephenson	1479
38	Gentley Bentley	Ed Howitt Jnr	1467
39	The Rubsters	Ed Howitt Snr	1435
40	Presidential Selection - No. 2	Andrew Falk	1285
41	Curry Munchers	Ed Howitt Snr	1157

Name	Points
Adair Durie	120
Adam Aarons	180
Adam Cubbage	320
Adam Fleming	0
Alex Jackson	47
Alex Lines	208
Andrew Chapman	54
Andrew Coleman	144
Andrew Crosland	60
Anthony Sherman	119
Beau Sadler	102
Ben Armstrong	0
Ben Garratt	170
Blair Lindsay	263
Brett Rosen	78
Cameron Eccles	105
Chad Soper	181
Charlie Bangs	137
Chris Retallick	63
Clem Bromwich	0
Corbin Edgar	0
Craig Thornborough	72
Damon Livermore	161
Dan Lake	0
Dan Smith	168
Dave Millar	89
Dave Monaghan	190
David Leiboff	160
Deva Nirthanakumaran	95
Ed Howitt	289
Elliot Richtor	169
Greg Lewis	224
Harry Evans	196
Harry Turner	86
Henry Carmichael	124
Hugh Sinclair	0
Iain Beverley	108
Ian Higgins	98
Iqbal Ahmed	98
Jack Colley	0
Jack Skilbeck	17
James Campbell	143
James Hand	46
James Kennedy	345
James Kidd	293
James Packman	146
James Partridge	0
Jordan Liddle	170
Julian Stephenson	0
Justin Avendano	80
Kris Colley	77
Kurt Roughley	273
Logan Weston	113
Luke Ham	0
Mark Fonseka	83
Matt Todd	196
Max Newman	125
Michael Dalrymple	24
Michael Perry	341
Nick Dowsley	163
Paddy Murton	0
Pascal Delepine	65
Pat Effeney	167
Paul Campbell	0
Reece Bombas	56
Saahil Turki	91
Scott Heaney	135
Shayne Lin	292
Steve Colley	202
Tim Van Zuylen	5
Tjaard Tait	129
Tom Bangs	158
Tom Beverley	116
Tom Carruthers	41
Tom Cockburn	33
Tom Gooch	135
Tristan Cooper	52
Will Sweeney	77
Carl Kinghorne	121
Hugh Selby	59
James Dedman	23
Jason Leiboff	60
Sam Mart	5
T* Weragama	85
S* Kasthuriarachchi	40
D* Rathnayake	120
Jim Ham	17

Stobo's Salute

The webmaster is pleased to announce that one of our great website contributors over the last few years Richard Stobo will be writing a "review" column each week to tell us some history about the team we will be playing and some experiences playing against them.

It will give Missy the opportunity to write about Stobs again and of course the master will return the shots.

Richard has hung up the boots officially this season, however hopes to grace the field during the year if needed.

To go to the first one for the round against St. George CLICK HERE or click on story icon below.

The Stobo Salute is shown below:

Player of the Year 2011-12 Update No.1

This season the prestigious Player of the Year Award will again be sponsored by Hickman & Ritchard Financial Planning.One of our major sponsors Hickman and Ricthard have just launched a new website and are keen for you to visit them at: www.hrfp.com.au

This season the point score system has been changed and the points this year will be awarded as follows:

• Runs – 1 point per run
• Wickets – 20 points per wicket
• Catches – 15 points per catch
• Stumpings – 20 points per catch

This year there are no points awarded for team wins and no bonus points for runs and wickets. As per previous seasons PG’s and 1st grade T20’s (Sunday games) are not counted in order to make it a level playing field.

After the first 5 rounds this season the leader is Michael Perry (aka Chilly). Michael is a new player to the club this season and has performed well with both bat and ball so far. Michael has scored 159 runs, taken 10 wickets and 5 catches in 4th and 5th grade in a great start to his career at Gordon.

Michael Perry in action against Saints.

In second place is great clubman Adam Cubbage, who is always placed well in this award. Cubby has taken 10 wickets this season as well as scoring a valuable 71 to help setup his 4th grade team for a good win against Easts in Round 3.

In third place is 1st grade quick James Kennedy. James has had a brillant start to the season with 22 wickets at an average of 18.4 (T20 matches included in figures). JK was the recipient of the club’s October Player of the Month award and has recently been rewarded with selection in the NSW Future League team.

In 4th place is Blair Lindsay, who has had a great start to his season in 2nd grade with 343 runs at 57.2 including a magnificent 146* against Easts to steer his team to victory.

Adam Cubbage, James Kennedy and Blair Lindsay

In 5th place is 3rd grade captain, club coach and last year’s winner Ed Howitt. Hoppa has started where he left off last season, with 16 wickets at 12.2 and his career record 500th wicket for the club in Round 3.

Other players in the top 10 are James Kidd, Matt Todd, Harry Evans, Shayne Lin & Kurt Roughley all with great early season performances.

A listing of all players points are included below, with the adjustment column representing the T20 matches being taken out of the point scores.

Position	Player	Points	Adjust	Net Points
1	Perry, Michael	419		419
2	Cubbage, Adam	395		395
3	Kennedy, James	500	105	395
4	Lindsay, Blair	388		388
5	Howitt, Ed	386		386
6	Kidd, James	377		377
7	Todd, Matt	366		366
8	Evans, Harry	436	83	353
9	Lin, Shayne	350		350
10	Roughley, Kurt	475	140	335
11	Monaghan, David	322		322
12	Garratt, Ben	313	2	311
13	Soper, Chad	269		269
14	Stephenson, Julian	260		260
15	Dowsley, Nick	250		250
16	Lewis, Greg	303	54	249
17	Campbell, James	243		243
18	Bangs, Thomas	234		234
19	Liddle, Jordan	234		234
20	Effeney, Patrick	227		227
21	Colley, Steve	321	108	213
22	Lines, Alex	208		208
23	Smith, Daniel	273	75	198
24	Coleman, Andrew	197		197
25	Gooch, Tom	196		196
26	Weston, Logan	193		193
27	Leiboff, David	192		192
28	Livermore, Damon	192		192
29	Richtor, Elliot	253	61	192
30	Cooper, Tristan	191		191
31	Ahmed, Iqbal	190		190
32	Newman, Max A	189		189
33	Heaney, Scott M	243	55	188
34	Rosen, Brett	185		185
35	Bombas, Reece	204	22	182
36	Durie, Adair	182		182
37	Aarons, Adam	180		180
38	Bangs, Charlie	178		178
39	Carruthers, Thomas	172		172
40	Tait, Tjaard	157		157
41	Carmichael, Henry	152		152
42	Kinghorne, Carl	149		149
43	Beverley, Thomas	145		145
44	Sherman, Anthony	136		136
45	Avendano, Justin	126		126
46	Sadler, Beau	123		123
47	Sweeney, Will	122		122
48	Turki, Saahil	121		121
49	Rathnayake, Danuka	120		120
50	Turner, Harry	120		120
51	Retallick, Christopher	115		115
52	Beverley, Iain	205	97	108
53	Packman, James	146	38	108
54	Fonseka, Mark	107		107
55	Higgins, Ian	104		104
56	Eccles, Cameron	155	53	102
57	Nirthanakumaran, Deva	100		100
58	Colley, Kris	93		93
59	Thornborough, Craig	93		93
60	Millar, David	89		89
61	Dalrymple, Michael	86		86
62	Weragama, Teshan	85		85
63	Crosland, Andrew	79		79
64	Fleming, Adam G	77		77
65	Hand, James	77		77
66	Cockburn, Tom J	75		75
67	de l'Epine, Pascal	65		65
68	Woodford, Paul	65		65
69	Leiboff, Jason	61		61
70	Selby, Hugh	59		59
71	Chapman, Andrew	54		54
72	Jackson, Alex	47		47
73	Kasthuriarachchi, Samira	40		40
74	Richtor, Dan	29		29
75	Van Zuylen, Timothy	28		28
76	Dedman, James	23		23
77	Ham, Jim	17		17
78	Skilbeck, Jack	17		17
79	Mart, Samuel	5		5
80	Kleem, Mitchell	1		1
81	Edgar, Corbin	0		0
82	Partridge, James	0		0

GDCC Player of the year award 2010-11

Ed Howitt sneaks home by seven points from Will Sweeney
In one of the closest Player of the Year competitions, Ed Howitt has come home with a wet sail to win the award for the second time in his career with the calculations going right down to the last deliveries of the various matches of the final round.

(A smiling winner, Ed Howitt)

For those players and supporters new to the club, The GDCC Player of the Year Award is one of the club's most prestigious awards. It is presented each season to the winning player based on points received during the season. Points are awarded for runs scored, wickets taken, catches and team wins. Bonus points are also awarded for batting and bowling performances.

Points are allocated as follows:

1 point for every run scored. An additional bonus of 50 points for every half-century and 100 points for each century and 150 points for a score of 150 plus.
15 points per wicket plus a bonus of 50 points for 3/4 wickets in an innings, 100 points for a 5/6 wickets in an innings and 150 points for 7 or more wickets in an innings
10 points per catch
10 points for a run-out
25 points for every player in a winning side
10 points for a stumping

Over the year's we have had some great winners including club legends Marshall Rosen, Alan Poole, Matt Kelly, Phil Emery, Ed Howitt, James Packman & Matt Nicholson. Last year's winner was Nick Dowsley who won by a handful of points from Harry Evans.

sweeney (Second placed Will Sweeney)

This year's award was donated by Hickman & Ritchard Financial Planning as part of their sponsorship package and the club thanks them sincerely for their assistance. Geoff Hickman has kept the tally of points going all season and the mobile was running hot on the final day.

The top ten in the award are as follows:

1st	Ed Howitt	1360
2nd	Will Sweeney	1353
3rd	Adair Durie	1334
4th	Dan Smith	1313
5th	Dylan Connell	1283
6th	Justin Avendano	1273
equal 7th	Cam Eccles	1197
equal 7th	Charlie Bangs	1197
9th	James Kennedy	1171
10th	Blair Lindsay	1163

hickman Congratulations Ed on a great second half to the season, where his run making and wicket taking were an inspiration to his young team and hopefully they will gain from the experience of seeing how you protect your wicket and bowl with a plan.

The webmaster

GDCC Player of the year award update

hickman GDCC Player of the year award update

Results to the end of Round 5

For those players and supporters new to the club, The GDCC Player of the Year Award is one of the club’s most prestigious awards. It is presented each season to the winning player based on points received during the season. Points are awarded for runs scored, wickets taken, catches and team wins. Bonus points are also awarded for batting and bowling performances. Full details of the point system can be found on the club’s website.

lindsay Over the year’s we have had some great winners including club legends Marshall Rosen, Alan Poole, Matt Kelly, Phil Emery, Ed Howitt, James Packman & Matt Nicholson. Last year’s winner was Nick Dowsley who won by a handful of points from Harry Evans.

(Leader Blair Lindsay)

This year’s award will be donated by Hickman & Ritchard Financial Planning as part of their sponsorship package.

At the end of the 1st five rounds (Mosman) the leader is Blair Lindsay. Blair has started the season brilliantly with 2 centuries, 121 against Hawkesbury and 122 against Bankstown, and a total of 281 runs. He was deservedly promoted to 1st grade in Round 5 against Mosman.

In second place is our new 18 year old 1st grade all-rounder Daniel Smith. Dan has made a great debut to grade cricket and has looked at home at 1st grade level. In his debut game for the club Dan took 3 wickets and top scored with 69 against Hawkesbury. Dan also took 3-33 against Bankstown in Round 4.

In equal 3rd place is Justin Avendano and his 2nd grade captain Ben Garratt. Justin has started the season in exceptional form with the bat, culminating with a century against Mosman. Justin has scored 256 runs at 64.0 in the 1st five rounds in 2nd grade. Ben is now becoming known as a true all-rounder scoring runs including 81 in Round 1 and 2 three wickets hauls including 3-58 in 1st grade’s great victory against Bankstown.

(2nd and equal third, Dan Smith, Justin Avendano and Ben Garratt)

In 5th place is Deva Nirthanakumaran who has taken 12 wickets in the first 5 rounds including 5-44 against Hawkesbury in Round 1. Deva has been rewarded by promotion to 4th grade in the current Round 6 game against Uni of NSW.

Other players rounding out the Top 10 are Tom Cockburn (6th), Damon Livermore (7th), Adam Fleming (8th), Kris Colley (9th) and Harry Turner (10th). All these players have started the season in great from with some match winning performances.

Full details of all player points can be found below. A further update will be provided over the Christmas break.

Geoff Hickman

	GORDON DISTRICT CRICKET CLUB
	PLAYER OF THE YEAR POINTS - 2010/11
	Points to end of Round 5

Position	Player	Points
1	Lindsay, Blair	593
2	Smith, Daniel	495
3	Avendano, Justin	491
4	Garratt, Ben	491
5	Nirthanakumaran, Deva	467
6	Cockburn, Tom	442
7	Livermore, Damon	436
8	Fleming, Adam	433
9	Colley, Kris	424
10	Turner, Harry	422
11	Kennedy, James	420
12	Effeney, Patrick	416
13	Colley, Steve	413
14	Tait, Tjaard	405
15	Millar, David	393
16	de l'Epine, Pascal	382
17	Medcalf, Will	382
18	Durie, Adair	380
19	Sweeney, Will	372
20	Todd, Matt	355
21	Wigham, Jono	330
22	Colley, Jack	321
23	Higgins, Ian	311
24	Monaghan, David	307
25	Coleman, Andrew	303
26	Liddle, Jordan	303
27	Lines, Alex	292
28	Lewis, Greg	288
29	Retallick, Chris	284
30	Campbell, James	277
31	Lake, Dan	276
32	Evans, Harry	267
33	Eccles, Cameron	258
34	Taylor, Gavin	258
35	Turner, Matt	258
36	Cooper, Tristan	252
37	Sadler, Beau	248
38	Connell, Dylan	246
39	Lin, Shayne	245
40	Roughley, Kurt	244
41	Dietz, Paul	232
42	Bangs, Tom	225
43	Packman, Tim	223
44	Beverley, Iain	222
45	Howitt, Ed	222
46	Crosland, Andrew	221
47	Anderson, Hugo	209
48	Selby, Hugh	206
49	Bangs, Charlie	201
50	Kleem, Mitchell	200
51	Thornborough, Craig	198
52	Gooch, Tom	183
53	Aarons, Adam	181
54	Armstrong, Ben	181
55	Fonseka, Mark	173
56	Ham, Luke	166
57	Hynes, Owen	163
58	Dowsley, Nick	149
59	Packman, James	149
60	Bombas, Reece	148
61	Beverley, Tom	132
62	Gray, Brendan	122
63	Carruthers, Tom	117
64	Cubbage, Adam	116
65	Kidd, James	114
66	Goldsmith, Josh	107
67	Richtor, Elliot	89
68	Franklin, Nic	83
69	Leiboff, David	79
70	Dedman, James	74
71	Chapman, Andrew	63
72	Carmichael, Henry	52
73	Van Zuylen, Tim	51
74	Skilbeck, Jack	27
75	Gannon, Sam	26
76	Kelly, Matt	22
77	Ryan, James	16

Gordon Player of the Year 2009/10

dowsley Gordon Player of the Year 2009/10

Congratulations Nick Dowsley

The 2009/10 Player of the Year is Nick Dowsley. In a very close race Nick scored 1,555 points and beat the runner-up Harry Evans (1,541 points) by a mere 14 points. The scores were checked, re-checked, audited and verified as correct.

(Nick Dowsley in action at Killara)

Nick, due to work commitments dropped down to play 3rd grade this year and showed his class as a player and clubman in accumulating 605 runs at 46.5, 14 wickets and 8 catches. In the last match of the season he took a handy 3 wickets against Sydney Uni which ultimately secured him the victory. On that same day Harry Evans was playing on the ground next door and helped secure victory for 1st grade with a fine 93, as Nick watched on supporting. If Harry had scored the extra seven runs for his century he would have pipped Nick at the post.

Earlier in the season, Nick was unavailable to play on Saturday and with 5th grade playing on Sunday, he helped out the club and played 5ths as we were short that match. He scored a well compiled 90 odd no when we won the game. A check of the score book by Dave Millar a week later, determined Nick had not been credited some runs and his scored jumped to 102 no and a very handy 50 bonus points. Well done Nick on a great win, you have been a great clubman and contributor to our club.

Harry Evans also had a brilliant season, he scored 721 runs in grade matches at an average of 45.1 and also took 19 catches and 1 stumping in grade matches. He showed his class in the last match of the season and we look forward to an exciting season for Harry in the top grade next season.

(Harry during his 93 against Sydney Uni in first grade)

In 3rd place was Tjaard Tait, the 4th grade all-rounder who had a consistent season. He showed in a couple of games in 3rds that he has the ability to play higher grades. Tjaard scored 436 runs at 36.3 and also took 18 wickets at 22.1.

In 4th place was Justin Avendano. Justin as a 16 year old had a great season. Promoted from 5th grade last season he showed enough to let all know he will be a very good player in the future. In a combination of 2nds & 3rds he scored 418 runs, took 20 wickets and 7 catches.

Rounding our the top 5 was another 4th grader in Tim Fulton, who also had a great season with the ball. Tim took 31 wickets at 20.8, including 2 six wicket and 1 five wicket haul in an innings. Tim is a genuine swing bowler who troubled most batsmen with the new ball.

(Tjaard Tait, Justin Avendano and Tim Fulton in action during the season)

Interestingly 6th to 10th spot were filled with some of our most experienced players in Damon Livermore (6th), Iqbal Ahmed (8th), Tim Packman (9th) and Ed Howitt (10th). It goes to show experience counts for a lot and these great clubman keep producing the results for our club and hopefully also help out the younger players along the way. The other player in the top 10 was our English import, Josh Poysden who also had a great season, starting in 5th grade and moving through the grades to 2nd grade by the end of the season.

The full results for 2009/10 are as follows:

	GORDON DISTRICT CRICKET CLUB
	PLAYER OF THE YEAR POINTS - 2009/10
	Final Results

Position	Player	Points
1	Dowsley, Nick	1555
2	Evans, Harry	1541
3	Tait, Tjaard	1421
4	Avendano, Justin	1248
5	Fulton, Tim	1166
6	Livermore, Damon	1163
7	Poysden, Josh	1064
8	Ahmed, Iqbal	1043
9	Packman, Tim	1003
10	Howitt, Ed	943
11	Casson, Beau	941
12	Kleem, Mitchell	926
13	Connell, Dylan	903
14	Colley, Steve	891
15	Edwards, Rob	865
16	Campbell, James	858
17	Effeney, Patrick	850
18	Kennedy, James	834
19	Lin, Shayne	833
20	McDonald, Brendan	831
21	Sweeney, Will	830
22	Richtor, Elliot	803
23	Millar, David	787
24	Bombas, Reece	782
25	Angus, Hamish	779
26	Archer, Chris	753
27	Kidd, James	753
28	Coleman, Andrew	750
29	Lindsay, Blair	749
30	Fonseka, Mark	737
31	Todd, Matt	736
32	Beverley, Iain	711
33	Carmichael, Henry	694
34	Sherman, Anthony	676
35	Lake, Dan	674
36	Packman, James	671
37	Bangs, Charlie	659
38	Garratt, Ben	653
39	Cubbage, Adam	637
40	Ledgerwood, James	621
41	Higgins, Ian	615
42	Cockburn, Tom	610
43	Chapman, Andrew	605
44	Rosen, Brett	587
45	Anderson, Hugo	583
46	Soper, Chad	563
47	Nirthanakumaran, Deva	543
48	Smith, Hugh	516
49	Bangs, Tom	513
50	Durie, Adair	495
51	Campbell, Paul	481
52	Eccles, Cameron	388
53	Dalrymple. Michael	362
54	Leiboff, David	346
55	Campbell, Alex	345
56	Ledgerwood, Tom	342
57	Fleming, Adam	273
58	Sadler, Beau	261
59	Wilson, Mitch	259
60	Sajdeh, Sunny	225
61	Dietz, Paul	210
62	Turner, Harry	203
63	Bromwich, Clem	175
64	Manners, Michael	175
65	Gribble, Michael	159
66	Stephenson, Julian	155
67	Johnstone, Aaron	118
68	Gulaptis, Leon	102
69	Leiboff, Jason	97
70	Cannon, Ben	94
71	Pinchen, Damien	90
72	Flynn, Daniel	83
73	Ryan, James	81
74	Liddle, Jordan	78
75	Stobo, Richard	71
76	Lamont, Tom	68
77	Richtor, Dan	65
78	Selby, Hugh	44
79	Medcalf, Nick	42
80	Colley, Kris	41
81	Kinny, Nathan	38
82	Jones, Keiran	18
83	Falk, Michael	16
84	Michael, Matt	16
85	Kelly, Matt	13
86	Edgar, Corben	11
87	Bourne, Michael	10
88	Tilley, Daniel	10
89	Storey, Dave	3

Geoff Hickman

Player of the year 2007/2008

GDCC PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD 2007/08

Brendan McDonald wins Chatswood classic Cars "Player of the year" award

The final point scores have been calculated for the prestigious Player of the Year Award sponsored by our long term sponsors Chatswood Classic Cars.

This years award was one of the closest ever and so close that an extensive exercise was conducted ensuring all points were correctly allocated, missing run outs verified and the numbers audited so that we could be sure we got the correct winner.

(Brendan in action at Chatswood)

The end result was a three point margin between the winner and runner-up. The top 10 places have been listed below. Please remember our Player of the Year award includes all Grade games from Round 1 to 15 and excludes Sunday 1^st grade one-dayers, PG’s and semi-finals to try and ensure it is an even contest across the grades.

Top 10 Places – 2007/08

10^th – Beau Casson (973 points) – Beau was leading at one stage during the season but representative commitments took the opportunity of winning away from him. Beau had a great season for Gordon and NSW culminating in a Pura Cup victory and selection in the Australian squad to tour West Indies. For Gordon he scored 484 runs at 26.9 and 29 wickets at 29.7 including his first Gordon century against a strong Fairfield side in Round 2.

9^th - Adam Cubbage (975) – Cubby is a great Gordon team man and was an integral part of 4^th grade push to the semi’s. He filled in for one Colts game to help us out and scored a century. Unfortunately his points from this game were not counted as this would have pushed him further up the list. Adam scored 439 runs at 39.9 and took 18 wickets at 28.9.

8^th - Shenal Siriwardhane (976) – Shenal had his best season for Gordon and another important member of the 4^th grade side. His bowling was particularly effective and he took 23 wickets at 22.1 as well as compiling a handy 190 runs at 23.8.
7^th - Elliot Richtor (983) – Elliot had his first full season in 2^nd grade and continues to impress as he climbs through the grades. In 2^nd grade he scored 473 runs at 33.8 and chipped in with 4 wickets and 5 catches.
6^th Ben Garratt (1022) – Ben had a great season in 2^nd grade scoring 2 centuries and deservedly being promoted to 1^st grade for part of the season. He finished the season with 575 runs at 41.1.
5^th James Campbell – (1040) – James in his 1^st full season of grade had a great season being one of the club’s leading wicket takers. He played 4ths at the end of the season and took 4 for 28 off 19 overs in the semi-final. James finished with 39 wickets at 13.1.
4^th Ed Howitt – (1142) – Ed is consistently in the top places in this award. It is a credit to his contribution to the club both on and off the field. As 3^rd grade captain Ed took 28 wickets at 15.9 as well as 192 runs at 24.
3^rd Iqbal Ahmed (1199) – Iky had a great season as 4^th grade captain guiding his side into the semis. His contribution on the field was strong with 31 wickets at 20.8. This included 3 five for’s in an innings.
2^nd Craig Simmons (1330) – Craig was last year’s winner and nearly recorded a double finishing only 3 points behind the winner. Craig had another great season breaking the 1^st grade batting aggregate record that he created last season. He finished the season with 958 runs at 43.5 and chipped in with 17 wickets and 14 catches.
1^st Brendan McDonald (1333) – Brendan is this year’s Player of the Year award following an excellent all-round season in 1^st grade. His bowling was exceptional and although he started as the number 2 spinner in the side behind Beau he consistently stepped up when Beau was not available. He also batted well and is an excellent fieldsman. Brendan finished with 43 wickets at 24.3 and was the leading wicket taker in the club. He also scored a handy 330 runs at 19.4 and took 19 catches and 3 run outs to deservedly be the 2007/08 Player of the Year. Congratulations Brendan on behalf of all members of the club.

The final points score for every player is as follows:


	GORDON DISTRICT CRICKET CLUB
	PLAYER OF THE YEAR POINTS - 2007/08
	As at the end of Round 15

Position	Player	Points
1	McDonald, Brendan	1333
2	Simmons, Craig	1330
3	Ahmed, Iqbal	1199
4	Howitt, Ed	1142
5	Campbell, James	1040
6	Garratt, Ben	1022
7	Richtor, Elliot	983
8	Siriwardhane, Shenal	976
9	Cubbage, Adam	975
10	Casson, Beau	973
11	Mahaffey, Daniel	956
12	Higgins, Ian	941
13	Hokin, Rod	902
14	Connell, Dylan	897
15	Evans, Harry	886
16	Durie, Adair	837
17	Zelma, Ed	834
18	Turner, Harry	812
19	Archer, Chris	794
20	Lindsay, Blair	787
21	Stephenson, Julian	784
22	Soper, Chad	774
23	Bombas, Reece	769
24	Effeney, Patrick	757
25	Selby, Hugh	746
26	Cheadle, Nick	741
27	Packman, James	733
28	Beverley, Iain	722
29	Millar, David	699
30	Jones, Matt	691
31	Nicholson, Matt	689
32	Ritchie, Jack	687
33	Jones, Keiran	680
34	Sherman, Anthony	657
35	Medcalf, Nick	655
36	Hicks, Guy	646
37	Marvell, Brett	618
38	Eccles, Cameron	607
39	Wright, Gareth	594
40	Gatting, Jim	584
41	Dowsley, Nick	577
42	Kennedy, James	575
43	Kannangara, Lasanga	564
44	Colley, Steve	560
45	Wigham, Jono	539
46	Crawford, Cameron	483
47	Kenner, Richard	470
48	Avendano, Justin	467
49	Kleem, Mitchell	432
50	Rasool, Brad	424
51	Turner, Charlie	414
52	Lake, Dan	400
53	Ranney, Sam	388
54	Pearce, Sam	337
55	Hammond, Jack	335
56	Sajdeh, Sunil	332
57	Michael, Matt	331
58	Creed, Tim	330
59	Weaver, Michael	320
60	Selby, Matt	304
61	Kulkarni, Mayur	293
62	Martin, James	285
63	Singh, Michael	244
64	Blake, John	233
65	Amir, Umayr	214
66	Lamont, Tom	171
67	Brown, Cameron	167
68	Falk, Michael	165
69	Campbell, Alex	137
70	Massey, Simon	137
71	Ryan, James	123
72	Ling, Josh	105
73	Campbell, Paul	102
74	McKeith, Will	97
75	Shrestha, Biraj	93
76	Sweeney, Will	84
77	Kelly, Matt	75
78	Edwards, Rob	72
79	Carmichael, Henry	71
80	Griffiths, Alex	71
81	White, Victor	71
82	Don, Iftekhar	68
83	Powell, Sam	66
84	Ellison, James	55
85	Brown, Alex	54
86	Jakrot, Declan	53
87	Rasotra, Mayank	50
88	Playfair, Jack	44
89	Bourne, Michael	42
90	Slocombe, Stuart	36
91	Anderson, Mark	35
92	Cozens, Charlie	30
93	Stobo, Richard	30
94	Ledgerwood, Tom	28
95	Hulston, Chris	27
96	Anand, Karan	25
97	Wiese, Mark	22
98	Shaw, Alex	21
99	Gregory, Tom	20
100	Pinnington, Jim	19
101	Sattar, Kamal	17
102	Narayan, Ganendra	4
103	Richtor, Dan	2
104	O'Shea, Michael	0

Player of the Year 2008/09 - Update 1

PLAYER OF THE YEAR 2008/09

First update for the new season

This is the most prestigious award in the Club. Points are awarded for a variety of achievements and aggregated to determine the ultimate winner.

(Cam Eccles against Sydney University)

This award is confined to all preliminary Grade matches. The winner will receive a perpetual trophy and a prize to be determined by the Committee. Sunday 1^st grade one dayers, 20/20 and Poidevin Gray games are not counted to try and produce a level playing field for all players within the club.

Points are allocated as follows:

1 point for every run scored. An additional bonus of 50 points for every half-century and 100 points for each century and 150 points for a score of 150 plus.
15 points per wicket plus a bonus of 50 points for 3/4 wickets in an innings, 100 points for a 5/6 wickets in an innings and 150 points for 7 or more wickets in an innings
10 points per catch
10 points for a run-out
25 points for every player in a winning side
10 points for a stumping

UPDATE No. 1 – Round 5

This year’s Player of the Year is off to a frenetic start with the current leader at the end of Round 5, already on 908 points. Last year’s winner Brendan McDonald scored a total of 1,333 points for the whole season.

There’s no prize for guessing that Cameron Eccles is the leader with 908 points. Cameron approached the selectors on the Sunday before the first game and advised them that he wished to open the batting this year as he didn’t like sitting around. Well clearly going in first works for Cameron with 3 centuries, one in each of 3^rd, 2^nd & 1^st grade and another 50 to top it off. These innings have not only scored him plenty of POY points but plenty of bonus points as well. It shows the value of scoring centuries, selectors like them. Cameron has scored 437 runs at an average of 54.6 in 5 rounds in a brilliant performance. The question for the rest of the year is, can anyone catch him.

(The classic James Packman shot)

In second place is James Packman who has 2 centuries of his own and has scored 396 runs at an average of 66. James has started where he left off last season in the grand final against St George and is leading the 1^st grade batting line-up which sees them as competition leaders at the present time. In third place is Brendan McDonald on 665 points. Brendan has been again in great form after winning the award last season. He capped off a great first 5 rounds with 6 wickets against Sydney Uni and selection in the NSW 2XI.

In fourth place is 1^st grade captain Matt Nicholson who is not only leading the team superbly but contributing big time with both bat and ball. How fortunate we are to have a player of Matt’s ability and experience to lead our 1^st grade team. In fifth spot, is James Campbell, who has continued a strong 1^st year of grade last year with more strong performances in 2^nd and 3^rd grade. James has taken 17 wickets in the first 5 rounds at an average of 13.7. This includes four 3 wicket innings and hence lots of bonus points.

(Nicho in action at Chatswood)

The other players in the top 10 are Harry Evans, with a century in Round 5, newcomer Damien Way with consistent batting through the grades, the mercurial Adam Cubbage with a 5 wicket haul in Round 4, youngster Justin Avendano with a 6 wicket haul in Round 2 and Matt Jones who has produced consistent all-round performances.

The message with these players is that if you want to force your way into the top 10 you need centuries and 5 wicket hauls. Let’s see lots of these as we push towards the club’s ambition of a Club Championship.

The full point score is as below and a further update will be provided at Christmas.

	GORDON DISTRICT CRICKET CLUB
	PLAYER OF THE YEAR POINTS - 2008/09
	As at the end of Round 5

Position	Player	Points
1	Eccles, Cameron	908
2	Packman, James	732
3	McDonald, Brendan	665
4	Nicholson, Matt	626
5	Campbell, James	575
6	Evans, Harry	513
7	Way, Damien	510
8	Cubbage, Adam	508
9	Avendano, Justin	497
10	Jones, Matt	492
11	Tait, Tjaard	489
12	Connell, Dylan	478
13	Sherman, Anthony	455
14	Garratt, Ben	436
15	Kenner, Richard	393
16	Higgins, Ian	389
17	Bombas, Reece	383
18	Kleem, Mitchell	381
19	Drysdale, Peter	337
20	Rosen, Brett	333
21	Medcalf, Nick	328
22	Howitt, Ed	321
23	Soper, Chad	315
24	Lake, Dan	311
25	Lindsay, Blair	285
26	Fulton, Tim	281
27	Sweeney, Will	279
28	Hokin, Rod	272
29	Ahmed, Iqbal	254
30	Marvell, Brett	254
31	Liddle, Jordan	251
32	Wigham, Jono	242
33	Beverley, Iain	226
34	Livermore, Damon	216
35	Siriwardhane, Shenal	210
36	Casson, Beau	207
37	Michael, Matt	202
38	Jones, Keiran	200
39	Kennedy, James	200
40	Wright, Gareth	200
41	Effeney, Patrick	195
42	Stephenson, Julian	181
43	Edwards, Rob	178
44	Lin, Shayne	163
45	Sweeney, Mitch	161
46	Smith, Will	157
47	Cheadle, Nick	153
48	Colley, Steve	153
49	Sajdeh, Sunil	152
50	Ledgerwood, James	138
51	Mahaffey, Daniel	135
52	Colley, Kris	127
53	Fonseka, Mark	117
54	Richtor, Elliot	96
55	McKeith, Will	94
56	Millar, David	88
57	Kinny, Nathan	81
58	Brown, Cameron	78
59	Kidd, James	75
60	Selby, Matt	64
61	Patterson, Vaughan	61
62	Van Schalkwyk, Emile	57
63	Qureshi, Bilal	45
64	Vaughan, James	45
65	Chapman, Andrew	34
66	Lamont, Tom	32
67	Archer, Chris	19

Player of the Year Update

In the first Player of the Year Update earlier this season the question was asked, can anyone catch Cameron Eccles. Well the answer is yes, and after 10 rounds Matt Nicholson is our new leader of the club's prestigious Player of the Year award. Nicho was in 4th spot after Round 5, but consistent individual performances leading his 1st grade side from the front has seen him take the lead. Nicho, has never really been in contention for this award in previous seasons due to his representative commitments, however a full season with the Stags could see him win this award for the first time.

(Matt Nicholson in action against Northern Districts)

With just over 300 points between the first ten players, the award is still very much wide open. New additions to the Top 10 for this update are Ed Howitt, who has not only captained his 3rd grade side into semi-final contention but clearly has led from the front with consistent wicket hauls. In a year of the captains leading from the front, Ben Garratt has also entered the top 10, courtesy of two centuries and two fifties in the first 10 rounds. Another experienced player in Brett Rosen has also entered the Top 10 and must be a big chance of winning after consistent batting and keeping performances in 3rd grade.

The full point score at the end of Round 10 (North Sydney) is as follows. There will be no further updates now until the completion of the preliminary rounds, so good luck to all players in contention and hopefully these individual performances will assist our sides push towards semi-finals over the next 5 rounds.

	GORDON DISTRICT CRICKET CLUB
	PLAYER OF THE YEAR POINTS - 2008/09
	As at the end of Round 10

Position	Player	Points
1	Nicholson, Matt	1177
2	Eccles, Cameron	1066
3	McDonald, Brendan	948
4	Howitt, Ed	906
5	Packman, James	905
6	Garratt, Ben	890
7	Campbell, James	870
8	Rosen, Brett	867
9	Evans, Harry	866
10	Avendano, Justin	862
11	Lindsay, Blair	843
12	Cubbage, Adam	815
13	Kleem, Mitchell	731
14	Colley, Steve	726
15	Connell, Dylan	724
16	Tait, Tjaard	700
17	Sherman, Anthony	674
18	Kenner, Richard	659
19	Bombas, Reece	657
20	Siriwardhane, Shenal	645
21	Medcalf, Nick	636
22	Higgins, Ian	626
23	Drysdale, Peter	616
24	Way, Damien	605
25	Effeney, Patrick	594
26	Ahmed, Iqbal	584
27	Jones, Matt	582
28	Livermore, Damon	573
29	Michael, Matt	571
30	Fulton, Tim	565
31	Liddle, Jordan	561
32	Lake, Dan	551
33	Soper, Chad	551
34	Casson, Beau	549
35	Lin, Shayne	543
36	Kennedy, James	542
37	Beverley, Iain	531
38	Hokin, Rod	488
39	Brown, Cameron	473
40	Colley, Kris	460
41	Stephenson, Julian	446
42	Sweeney, Will	446
43	Smith, Will	431
44	Ledgerwood, James	424
45	Sweeney, Mitch	405
46	Mahaffey, Daniel	400
47	Cheadle, Nick	372
48	Marvell, Brett	355
49	Richtor, Elliot	355
50	McKeith, Will	321
51	Jones, Keiran	318
52	Kidd, James	301
53	Edwards, Rob	286
54	Carmichael, Henry	254
55	Wigham, Jono	242
56	Van Schalkwyk, Emile	229
57	Sajdeh, Sunil	220
58	Millar, David	205
59	Wright, Gareth	200
60	Fonseka, Mark	169
61	Selby, Matt	118
62	Kinny, Nathan	117
63	Turner, Harry	80
64	Angus, Hamish	74
65	Patterson, Vaughan	61
66	Qureshi, Bilal	45
67	Vaughan, James	45
68	Widders, Adrian	40
69	Dowsley, Nick	35
70	Chapman, Andrew	34
71	Lamont, Tom	32
72	Cain, Matt	25
73	Archer, Chris	19

Player of year update Rd12

smith GDCC PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD UPDATE

Results to the end of Round 12

With only 3 rounds to play before semi-finals the player of the year award is wide open and what is interesting is that for the first time in many years the bowlers are in with a big chance to take out this coveted award. It is often debatable on whether the winner is a bowler, batsmen or all-rounder, especially when players of the calibre of Matt Nicholson and Ed Zelma win, but it is definitely true that over the years more batting all-rounders have won the award than bowling all-rounders.

(The leading Dan Smith in action against Penrith)

Without knocking any of our top 10, it is also true that some of the “bowlers” in contention this year could not count themselves as true “all-rounders”. I will leave it to you, our readers, on who fits in which category. So with 3 rounds to go our Top 5 are as follows:

Dan Smith – what a great debut season Dan is having with Gordon. He was selected straight into 1st grade and has more than justified the faith the club placed in him. What a mighty achievement it would be for him to win the “Player of the Year” award in his inaugural grade season.
Justin Avendano – Justin has maintained his high position all season with consistent “all-round” performances in 2nd grade. Justin has immense talent and maybe a century in one of the last 3 rounds may be enough to secure victory for this year.
James Kennedy – another one of the “bowling triplets” from 1st grade, JK has had a great season consistently performing to a high level, culminating in his selection in the “NSW Future League” side for this week’s match.
Will Sweeney – another “bowling all-rounder”, Will was about to retire part way through the season and a last minute plea by his captain changed his mind and he has not looked back. Well done Will and keep the good work going.
Adair Durie – I’m sure Adair would not mind me saying he is a true “bowler”. He has had a great season and bowled beautifully all year and is a big reason why his 2nd grade side is coming 2nd in the comp.

Justin Avendano So there you are 4 pace bowlers in the top 5, can the batsmen rally to push past the “bowlers” in the next 3 rounds. There is also a very interesting player in the top 10, who after Saturday’s performance will be pushing for top spot in his last season with the club.

Other players rounding out the Top 10 are Blair Lindsay (6th), Ben Garratt (7th), Reece Bombas (8th) courtesy of his Round 12 century against Penrith, Dylan Connell (9th) and Cameron Eccles (10th) courtesy of his Round 11 century against Northern Districts. All these players have been in good form this season and have put in some great performances for the season to date.

(Second placed Justin Avendano hits out)

Full details of all player points can be found below. This is the final update for this year, with the final results to be announced at the completion of the season.

Geoff Hickman

PS. In the battle of the Colley’s young brother Jack (844) has both big brothers, Steve (610) and Kris (765) in trouble with 3 rounds to play.

(James Kennedy, Will Sweeney and Adair Durie complete the top five spots)

	GORDON DISTRICT CRICKET CLUB
	PLAYER OF THE YEAR POINTS - 2010/11
	Points to end of Round 12

Position	Player	Points
1	Smith, Daniel	1143
2	Avendano, Justin	1083
3	Kennedy, James	1036
4	Sweeney, Will	1031
5	Durie, Adair	986
6	Lindsay, Blair	959
7	Garratt, Ben	947
8	Bombas, Reece	930
9	Connell, Dylan	923
10	Eccles, Cameron	909
11	Millar, David	883
12	Todd, Matt	862
13	Colley, Jack	844
14	Bangs, Charlie	837
15	Howitt, Ed	821
16	de l'Epine, Pascal	797
17	Taylor, Gavin	795
18	Turner, Harry	790
19	Nirthanakumaran, Deva	782
20	Colley, Kris	765
21	Cooper, Tristan	762
22	Coleman, Andrew	761
23	Lewis, Greg	760
24	Cubbage, Adam	754
25	Beverley, Iain	748
26	Lin, Shayne	741
27	Liddle, Jordan	734
28	Retallick, Chris	733
29	Campbell, James	692
30	Cockburn, Tom	691
31	Fleming, Adam	669
32	Livermore, Damon	625
33	Monaghan, David	622
34	Crosland, Andrew	616
35	Kleem, Mitchell	613
36	Colley, Steve	610
37	Dedman, James	610
38	Sadler, Beau	605
39	Medcalf, Will	580
40	Lines, Alex	572
41	Carruthers, Tom	571
42	Evans, Harry	547
43	Tait, Tjaard	539
44	Fonseka, Mark	529
45	Franklin, Nic	526
46	Higgins, Ian	522
47	Gooch, Tom	513
48	Goldsmith, Josh	489
49	Thornborough, Craig	489
50	Dietz, Paul	485
51	Richtor, Elliot	466
52	Turner, Matt	457
53	Armstrong, Ben	452
54	Campbell, Paul	452
55	Effeney, Patrick	447
56	Selby, Hugh	445
57	Lake, Dan	441
58	Kidd, James	432
59	Packman, James	426
60	Packman, Tim	426
61	Bangs, Tom	406
62	Leiboff, David	356
63	Anderson, Hugo	349
64	Wigham, Jono	330
65	Gray, Brendan	329
66	Beverley, Tom	328
67	Dowsley, Nick	311
68	Ham, Luke	298
69	Hynes, Owen	287
70	Roughley, Kurt	285
71	Aarons, Adam	214
72	Van Zuylen, Tim	187
73	Sinclair, Hugh	181
74	Chapman, Andrew	173
75	Sheehan, Nick	114
76	Edgar, Corbin	94
77	Skilbeck, Jack	93
78	Selby, Matt	85
79	Carmichael, Henry	67
80	Mart, Samuel	64
81	Campbell, Alex	60
82	Davis, Cam	50
83	Leiboff, Jason	27
84	Gannon, Sam	26
85	Forti, Matt	25
86	Ham, Jim	25
87	Kelly, Matt	22
88	Ryan, James	16
89	Charles, Lachlan	14

Player of the Year Update November 2006

Player of the Year Update (prior to last Saturday i.e.The dazzler)

The following report is at the conclusion of 6 rounds and therefore doesn't include last Saturday and the heroics of the Dazzler (and others)

(Craig Simmons in action)

Craig Simmons is the new leader of the Player of the Year after 6 rounds. Craig, courtesy of a fine century in Round 5 and some solid performances with the ball has rocketed to a big lead of over 200 points.

James Hosking with his stellar early season form in 3rd Grade with a century and three 50's is in second spot. Brad Rasool courtesy of a brillant 200* against Hawkesbury in Round 4 moves to 3rd place and with another double century yet to be included it may well be a case of catch him if you can.

Sam Hinton with another century against Hawkesbury and a great 62 in 1st grade against Wests is in 4th spot, with the consistent Neil Longhurst rounding out the top 5. The big movers over the last 3 rounds have been as follows:

Brad Rasool (26th to 3rd)
Mike Weaver (41st to 7th) - courtesy of a century and 92 in Colts.
Matt Michael (64th to 9th) - courtesy of a century and some solid bowling performances in 2nds.
Umayr Amir (34th to 11th) - courtesy of a 6 wicket haul against Hawkesbury.
Rob Evans (50th to 12th) - finding the form that he displayed regularly last year.
Ed Howitt (44th to 13th) - after a great bowling performance against Fairfield in Round 5.
Damon Livermore (37th to 14th) - with a century against Wests in Round 6.

	GORDON DISTRICT CRICKET CLUB
	PLAYER OF THE YEAR POINTS - 2006/07
	As at the end of Round 6

Position	Player	Points
1	Simmons, Craig	932
2	Hosking, James	719
3	Rasool, Brad	644
4	Hinton, Sam	637
5	Longhust, Neil	555
6	Kelly, Matt	547
7	Weaver, Michael	529
8	Knight, Craig	527
9	Michael, Matt	506
10	Richtor, Elliot	506
11	Amir, Umayr	505
12	Evans, Rob	497
13	Howitt, Ed	469
14	Livermore, Damon	457
15	Bourne, Michael	455
16	Kleem, Mitchell	452
17	Marvell, Brett	445
18	Garratt, Ben	427
19	Higgins, Ian	392
20	Casson, Beau	390
21	Medcalf, Nick	390
22	Sherman, Anthony	380
23	Michael, David	362
24	Kenner, Richard	351
25	Archer, Chris	348
26	Bombas, Reece	348
27	Plummer, Andrew	346
28	Ahmed, Iqbal	320
29	Colley, Steve	319
30	Sajdeh, Sunil	317
31	Hokin, Rod	310
32	Jones, Keiran	308
33	Mahaffey, Daniel	305
34	Holmes, Jordan	295
35	Lee, Chris	293
36	Lappan, Andrew	290
37	Millar, David	289
38	Rosen, Brett	289
39	Legge, Laurence	286
40	Cubbage, Adam	283
41	Makepeace, Matt	279
42	McDonald, Brendan	272
43	Harris, Doug	268
44	O'Neill-Fuller, John	257
45	Kulkarni, Mayur	233
46	Slocombe, Stuart	233
47	Connell, Dylan	223
48	Russell-Jones, Jason	203
49	Packman, James	193
50	Richtor, Daniel	192
51	Zelma, Ed	184
52	Gray, David	179
53	Fragogianas, Tim	176
54	Skinner, Ian	175
55	Ling, Josh	170
56	Smith, Will	169
57	Kennedy, James	155
58	Stretton, Tom	153
59	Durie, Adair	146
60	Kannangara, Lasanga	146
61	Thomlinson, David	132
62	Cashman, Jeremy	130
63	Evans, Harry	123
64	Ranney, Sam	123
65	Siriwardhane, Shenal	123
66	Selby, Hugh	100
67	Sweeney, Will	96
68	Dowsley, Nick	87
69	Ellison, James	74
70	Stephenson, Julian	69
71	Van Schalkwyk, Emile	60
72	Wiese, Mark	56
73	Crawford, Cameron	50
74	Nicholson, Matt	49
75	Clifford, Tim	45
76	Cheadle, Nick	42
77	MacDonald, Rod	35
78	Lindfield, Ben	31
79	Sawtell, John	19
80	Falk, Michael	9

Player of the Year 2006/07 Update 1

Matt Kelly leads Player of the Year

Matt Kelly our intrepid 3rd grade captain leads the Player of the Year Award after 3 rounds.

Kell's has shown great early season form with 182 runs including 2 half centuries and two wins.

Other strong performers with good early season form have been our NSW pair of Craig Simmons and Beau Casson, who have earned their selection in the Blue's first games of the season.

Craig Knight with a great 2nd round century is in 3rd position and our Pommie import Neil Longhurst is in 5th position with some good allround performances in Rounds 2 & 3.

Sam Hinton, our other centurian (Rd 1 .v. St George), Michael Bourne, Reece Bombas, Elliot Richtor and yes wait for it the "main man" Plums round out the top 10. Wait till Plums hits some real form over the next couple of rounds.

There is a long way to go, so keep in touch for regular updates.

Points after Round 3


	GORDON DISTRICT CRICKET CLUB
	PLAYER OF THE YEAR POINTS - 2006/07
	As at the end of Round 3

Position	Player	Points
1	Kelly, Matt	352
2	Simmons, Craig	322
3	Knight, Craig	296
4	Casson, Beau	292
5	Longhust, Neil	290
6	Hinton, Sam	272
7	Bourne, Michael	245
8	Bombas, Reece	244
9	Richtor, Elliot	234
10	Plummer, Andrew	234
11	Sajdeh, Sunil	228
12	Mahaffey, Daniel	196
13	Higgins, Ian	188
14	Hosking, James	186
15	Jones, Keiran	174
16	Michael, David	171
17	Millar, David	165
18	Kenner, Richard	164
19	Legge, Laurence	163
20	Marvell, Brett	161
21	Cubbage, Adam	161
22	Garratt, Ben	153
23	Evans, Harry	153
24	Harris, Doug	151
25	Hokin, Rod	144
26	Rasool, Brad	125
27	Medcalf, Nick	121
28	Sherman, Anthony	114
29	Smith, Will	110
30	Slocombe, Stuart	109
31	Russell-Jones, Jason	109
32	Kleem, Mitchell	109
33	Packman, James	108
34	Amir, Umayr	108
35	Ling, Josh	105
36	O'Neill-Fuller, John	101
37	Livermore, Damon	100
38	Gray, David	93
39	Thomlinson, David	92
40	Archer, Chris	92
41	Weaver, Michael	89
42	Lee, Chris	84
43	Kannangara, Lasanga	84
44	Howitt, Ed	78
45	Zelma, Ed	75
46	Lappan, Andrew	75
47	Connell, Dylan	74
48	Kulkarni, Mayur	72
49	Rosen, Brett	69
50	Evans, Rob	68
51	Fragogianas, Tim	58
52	Sweeney, Will	57
53	Siriwardhane, Shenal	56
54	Skinner, Ian	55
55	McDonald, Brendan	52
56	Nicholson, Matt	49
57	Kennedy, James	47
58	Ranney, Sam	43
59	Cashman, Jeremy	43
60	Cheadle, Nick	42
61	Holmes, Jordan	40
62	Ahmed, Iqbal	38
63	Ellison, James	34
64	Michael, Matt	28
65	Stephenson, Julian	27
66	Selby, Hugh	25
67	Wiese, Mark	21
68	Sawtell, John	19
69	Makepeace, Matt	16
70	Richtor, Daniel	0
71	Dowsley, Nick	0

Missy's Mail

Ian Higgins The 2005/06 season had many highlights, however one that wasn't documented was the arrival of a new report writer in Ian Higgins. Ian's early attempts to ruffle the feathers of stalwart Richard Stobo were well reveived by Gordon supporters. Ian's reports became legendary with his quick wit and sometimes direct statements that rarely missed the mark (except for one report on the condition of the Chatswood Oval pitch).

With the 2011-12 season now with us Missy will continue his dialogue with members through his column.You can catch up on all of Missy's mails below:

So look out for this icon on the front page.

Missy's Mail 31

Mohammad Asif So the Pakistani match fixers are going to gaol. In a hallow victory for cricket lovers worldwide, Salmon Butt, Mohammed’s Asif and Aamer along with player agent Mazhar Majeed were sentenced to varying tenures behind bars after sentencing was handed down last Thursday in a London court.

Mohammed Asif - sentenced in a London court

I’ve followed this story closely having been exposed to the English media coverage over the past few years since the now infamously defunct newspaper News of The World broke the story in the northern summer of 2010. It is inexplicably sad story. As a cricket patriot, it hurts me to the core to read about the goings on of that fateful Lords test match. Most notably, the notion that Mohammed Asif received the lions share of the ‘earned’ money in an attempt to keep him faithful from rival match fixing syndicates. It is beyond comprehension.

Justice Jeremy Cooke (presumed brother of Alistair) summed up proceedings nicely: “Now whenever people look back on a surprising event in a game or a surprising result, or whenever in the future there are surprising events or results, followers of the game will be left to wonder whether there has been fixing and whether what they have been watching is a genuine contest between bat and ball.”

One can only think back to other fixtures involving Pakistan and consider if spectators were better off spending their money on tickets to The Enmore Theatre. Are we, as Australian supporters, so arrogant to think that the SCG test match at the beginning of 2010 was purely an outstanding showing of Australian resilience and dogged determination? What about when Mike Hussey managed to blast 22 from the last over off Saeed Ajmahl in the Twenty20 World Cup semi final to win the match? Was that sheer skill and execution or scripted entertainment for a few extra Rupee? It’s impossible to tell.

Aamer After learning that Aamer had appealed his sentence, I could only hope that he made the “T” sign to Justice Cooke in confirmation that he would like the decision reviewed. In my opinion, if he failed to seize this once in a lifetime opportunity, it would be worse than the initial crime itself.

Mohammed Aamer has appealed his sentence

It seems an incredible thing, to be prisoned for bowling or conspiring to bowl a no-ball in a cricket match. As I recently posted on Facebook, Murali would be looking at 25 to life had he still been playing. I remember Courtney Walsh getting balls in from the boundary with a straighter arm.

It’s amazing to me to think that not many of Gordon’s current playing members will remember the likes of Courtney Walsh and other legends of the late 80’s early 90’s who I grew up watching and imitating in the backyard, but i suppose those even more venerable than myself would say the same about players they grew up aspiring to. Dick Huey, for instance, was the official scorer for Don Bradman’s last test match at The Oval in 1948. There is still some conjecture over why Bradman’s final innings read “0”, despite him playing a memorable cover drive for four from his first delivery. Minor detail I suppose.

Regardless of days and summers gone by, it’s important to keep up to date. Some people set their homepage to the Sydney Morning Herald’s website or ninemsn in aid to always keep in tune with current affairs. My homepage however, is Reece Bombas’ Facebook profile. It’s more interesting than the conventional news, more outrageous than tabloid magazines and updates are released more often than bodily sounds from Kurt Roughley’s body.

Reece Bombas enjoys being the meat in the sandwich

Here are some old favourites of mine from Reece in recent history, in no particular, although comedic order:

“My loose weekend has just started get on it!”
“Im on the prowl any takers haha”
“Everyone get to the beery getting blind!”
“When u think theres no where to go another path reappears ! :).…”
“Getting on it at terrigal!”
“Kicking on at woodies so filthy!”
“Beery sesh anyone?”
“Beery sesh was awesome!”
“does not know wat to do with himself haha…”
“Rowdy weekend i think yes!”
“Has discovered that he might be an alcoholic!”
“Girls are professionals at pushing away boys who care about them!”
“Go hard or go home simple as that!”
“Every girl is crazy for guys with blue eyes!”
“Standing up right is becoming very hard at the beery!”
“Money for nothing and chicks for free!”
“Beery sessh feeling pretty blind!”
“has got alot of frustration to let loose!!!”
“Its times like this i wish i had a girlfriend!”
“my sisters say i’m desperate lol”

Great stuff from the King of the Coast. Don’t worry about ‘Neighbours’, don’t worry about recording ‘Home and Away’, Bomber’s life is better than a week long marathon of ‘Eastenders’. In between notifying his friends about how drunk he is - which i assatain is an important part of life on the central coast - Reece has more mood swings than a hormonal teenage girl. Proclamations of deep anxiety are quickly swept aside with declarations of inferable happiness. His manifestations are as bewilderingly benevolent toward an unnamed flame as they are belligerent to whom ever has wronged him within the 14 minutes since his last status update.

I speak for all those concerned that ’King of the Coast’, or just ‘KOC’ as he prefers, will soon find love and that his status updates will resemble Blair Lindsey’s rather than that of a rambling buffoon.

Blair Lindsay As for you Blair, I get it, you’ve got a girlfriend.

And speaking of ‘Kings’ - if I can be so brazen to label the assiduous postings of Reece as monarchical - let us now move onto Iain Beverley’s newest creation; The King of The Round.

Blair Lindsay, is this one of your girlfriends?

I like the idea of it. I like the idea that we should be rewarding acts of manliness and courage and hard behaviour, but like communism, this is only a good idea in theory. Because as I look around the circle on our Thursday club meetings I see a lot of very well educated young men with very good career prospects.

Some real life problems the Gordon players have already had this year include; not having an electrical outlet to plug their iPhone into, having an HD TV which takes an eternity to turn on, having so many notes in a wallet it’s uncomfortable to sit on, and having to fire a maid for boorish etiquette. These people don’t need to do things that are hard, we pay other people to do things we proclaim to be too hard. Blue collar workers, Labor voters, we don’t have them and we don’t need them. I am, of course, only jesting.

We do have a couple of people who drive vans and other Utility vehicles, or “Utes” as they say in the trade I believe. Let’s run through that list shall we and see how ‘hard’ they are.

Beau Sadler: Works in the trades as a roofer of some notoriety. Can not go 23 seconds without touching someone or something. Not hard.

Anthony Sherman: Claims to be a landscaper which angers actual landscapers. Germaphobe. Not hard.

Craig Thornborough: Engineer. Looks good in the colour blue, has an apartment with a water view. Not hard.

Greg Lewis: Please.

We all know there is only 1 hard bloke in this whole club and that man is Carl Kinghorne.

Stats:

Carl Kinghorne: Crimefighter under the alias of “Knighthawk”. Has a tattoo on his calf of Ned Kelly. Why? Unknown. Has an autobiography entitled “Knighthawk in shining armour”. Has Chopper Reid, Chuck Norris, John Ibrahim, Tony Wilson in his phonebook. Once killed a man just by looking at him. Doesn’t glove punch.

And onto glove punching. Maybe it’s because I started playing underneath the strict regime of Ed Howitt from a young age, or maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up on an island in the Caribbean, but glove punching is reserved solely for those with the tropics in their blood, who play with flare and charisma and phonetic pageantry. Not for those who play club cricket in Sydney. Viv Richards can glove punch. Brian Lara? Go on then. Dwayne Bravo? Give a little knuckle to Chris Gayle.

But you Cockburn, you can not. I bet you glove punch. I can just tell you glove punch.

I think we’re onto knuckles now - and let me tell you, the Cedric Pike stand has been busy this Spring. Not as much action in the Justin Avendano stand so far, but the Avendano stand is more of a Summer/Autumn meeting place.

Celebrity cricketer - Avendano - is a hit with the ladies now more than ever!

I don’t know how it has come about that teenagers from all over the area have decided that the best form of expressing their lolita love is to take their significant other to a grandstand at Chatswood Oval to perform what’s now known within certain circles as “losing a knuckle”. It won’t be long before Secretary Catlin will be sitting there at all hours, forming an overnight vigil to ward off any hopeful youths, waylaying the convivial plans of the adolescent to lose a knuckle in the Cedric Pike. In between both grandstands and “Fingers Hill” half of the Chatswood population will be knocked up by Christmas. I do love a girl in uniform though.

I’ve been trying to think of some ideas to fundraise for our great club, other than an Adam Cubbage kissing booth which would obviously generate a swarmed frenzy not seen since The Beatles landed in Australia in 1964 and I think I’ve come up with a tremendous solution.

A Mark O’Neil Swear Jar. If everyone at the club donated 10c into an offshore account every time our top grade coach dropped a four letter bomb, we’d be able to cryogenically unfreeze Sir Don (minor complication may arise here, as I’m fairly certain Bradman was cremated and not cryogenically frozen like Walt Disney) and get him playing for the Stags by round 9. He’d obviously have to start in 5th grade as he would arrive with no credentials, but it’s important to keep numbers up. Catlin would charge him the full price of subscription as he will have missed the deadline for the price reduction. $600 was a lot of money in 1948 - although he did bowl leg spin, so a Wilson hand out isn’t off the cards.

I seem to of drifted off topic there. Again. Sparky loves an adjective though doesn’t he.

Howitt I have to mention Ed Howitt jnr before we part ways, as he achieved an absolutely incredible accomplishment in round 3. I’m not convinced he received the fanfare that the occasion deserved, and it’s difficult to actually put into words how, quite simply, unbelievable it is.

A junior looking Ed Howitt Jnr

Perhaps the most telling statistic is that he now joins only 3 other players in the history of Gordon to reach 500 wickets and 5,000 runs. 3 other players. It’s amazing. I’m at a rare loss for words. I literally don’t know what to say. I’m astounded.

(Editor's Note - Please see related story on Ed Howitt's Toast night on 3 December 2011 at the Orchard Tavern)

A better writer would describe to you the constant effort in application, the undeniable competitiveness, the mental longevity and tact it takes to reach such a level of conclusiveness. If there’s a better club man than Hoppa, I’ve never met him. I flicked through the photos and read the articles and the tributes and a touch of envy sank over me that I wasn’t there to witness it first hand. I was at Killara for 400 and that was pretty special, but 500 is a different level of apotheosis.

I cast my mind back to days when I would stand behind the stumps with obsequious expectation as he would roll out a few leg spinners to mid-off before shuffling to the crease in a way that lay calm to the fielding team. He had the ball on a string most days. Every time I kept to him, whether it be in 2nd grade or 3rd grade, something always happened - usually byes. I want to be able to tell you all about how he coaxed and strained his wickets with presence and insidious disguise, how he was lionised by umpires, officials and opposing captains, how altruistic he was as a captain, a mentor, a coach and a friend.

But all I can think about is Sunil Turkey and how ridiculous a name that really is.

Missy

Missy's Mail 30

garratt Missy's Mail 30

Women talk genuine rubbish.

Whilst men discuss such issues as what number out of 10 that bird on SBS was last night, or who was the best five-eighth/PM/wheel of fortune assistant of all time, women are examining the finer, more intricate details of life as we know it. As i sat in my hairdresser's salon, having my tips highlighted, my roots softened and my nails sharpened - all for a reported $435 - I overheard her say, nearly boasting, that she had recently told her boyfriend that he must be doing a good job because she "usually gets a 3 year itch".

It irks Missy that no-one raises an eyebrow when Benny Garratt gets a bowl these days

This idiotic statement, declared with a hint of arrogance but an altogether straight face was followed up with a "I totally know what you mean".

Sorry. What? What are you talking about? How can you usually get a 3 year itch?

It's that kind of statement that makes your brain come to a painfully screeching halt and makes you spend the rest of the day, sometimes life, contemplating if what you just heard and if it was actually layered with hidden meaning or symbolism, or if it is in fact that most ludicrous social commentary you are likely to hear this side of Mars. Or Venus as the case may be.

Then I received a text from a friend of mine in London which equally made as much sense to me as the time the groundsman at Sydney University defended his pitch preparation by saying "the wicket is wet because I've got a round shed."

His text to me read as follows: "reading an article in the Sunday Telegraph this morning on the state of Australian cricket... there are also very few spinners, not least because white Australia has yet to integrate properly with the south Asian population."

First of all, racial vilification aside, I wasn't aware there had been a recent influx of finger and over-the-wrist bowlers developing their craft in Singapore. I must have missed that. Secondly, England seem to be of the opinion that any country remotely in the same agreed alignment as their own counts as England. When Will Swanton, or even Peter Roebuck, start questioning why 'England' (if they still classify as that) are yet to tap into the ever-growing resource of hard hitting all-rounders churning out of Belarus, Dubrovnik and Istanbul, then I'll take this particular Sunday Telegraph readers point as valid. Until then, bring on the Ashes I say. Let's hope it's a truly memorable series and the team holding the most valid passports wins 3 no balls to 1.

Another thing that has been getting Missy's goat, which I assure you is a metaphor - I don't actually own a goat, is the number of bowlers used this season in all grades. The likes of Livermore, J. Packman, even your mate Cockburn has been getting betting a roll. As for Missy, his career tally for total number of grade overs remains at zero. Now bloody Ellyse Perry is getting a bowl. Where will the madness end.

missy Missy's only overs representing Gordon came in a PG's fixture at Manly Oval. Manly notched up 340 from their allotted overs and Higgins was tossed the ball in the 42nd over. 4 overs, 0 wickets, for 36. Evidently this 9 an over display impressed no one but himself. Unbelievable. A leg spinner at Gordon not getting a bowl, you wouldn't read about it. Missy's goal for the year is not to reach the finals, or hit 500 runs, it's to get 1 over and keep it to under 36. Everyone knows he's the best wind bowler in grade cricket. When it's windy get Missy on. Anyway, there are far more pressing issues to attend to in this, the 30th edition of Missy's Mail. In the words of Zsa Zsa Gabor's 7th husband on their wedding night 'i know what i'm supposed to do, but how can i make it interesting'.

No photos of Missy bowling on file, only a handful of him posing for the camera

First of all, a large congratulations to Dave Millar who has won the heart of his long term girlfriend Sarah 'Doosra' Zipfinger and will wed her in the coming months in a small ceremony at Beauchamp Oval. Rumoured to be Millar's best man, Anthony Sherman will also tie the knot in the opposing side of the joint dressing room at Gordon's 3rd home ground. However, Pic's news does not end with the announcement of a mere engagement. Sherman will also become a first time father in early 2011. Sources close to the man of the hour say the likely name of the child will be 'Bella' in honour of his beloved hound and one time border security patrol-person of Chatswood Oval.

In response to the news, close friend of both Millar and Sherman, a teary Damon Livermore was quoted as saying "I'm just so happy for the both of these guys. I always knew they'd find true love and now that the dream has finally become reality, well, I'll be bringing an extra hanky for the reception." Clearly, the hormones Reg is taking are severely altering his demeanour.

But what a tremendous start to the 2010/2011 campaign it has been for the Stags. Gordon sit a prosperous 6th after as many rounds, the weather seems to be making a turn for the consistently good once more and Missy is donning the finest 'tash the North Shore has seen, or will ever likely see again in this era of metro-sexualism.

Gordon's inaugural poker evening was a wild success with Tony Wilsons 17th son, Harry Evans, taking home the prize and bragging rights for at least 12 months. His victory coming as no surprise as an unnamed investor was seen giving Evans numerous opportunities for endless 'buy-ins'. His win over short priced favourite Alex Lines, who had apparently won $40,000 at a poker tournament a week before (although I've heard several reports altering the prize money won. There's a good chance he won a sausage roll and a pat on the back) is surely one of the greatest moment achieved by a former Knox student since.... well... the invention of apple sauce.

The waitress was an interesting combination of cultured and Kurt Roughley. I'm not sure which tertiary institution she attended, but her sleeve of tattoos was well received by Reece Bombas - an avid ink supporter. It did, albeit naively, surprise me how comfortable young Britney was with her own body and I imagine it also surprised the two young Asian ladies walking around Chatswood Oval who caught a glimpse of the bare drink server. Beverley had a crack. Of course he did. They don't call him 'Fingers Beverley' for nothing I suppose.

Beverley having a crack - this time on the field

The big news this week is that of James Campbell becoming a man and joining the real world of full time work. Not many will know, but JC has been accepted at an architectural firm in a starting position. This excited me for many reasons. One is that this may mean he may be able to pay me back for the 903 Vodka Pineapples I bought him a few weeks ago, but secondly and more importantly it will mean that his thoughts will be heard by so many more than just the 10 other lucky Gordonites he graces his ideas with every Saturday. Aside from sleeping in on his first day, arriving 2 hours late, having to borrow a work shirt from his mate across the road (E. Richtor) who cuts grass for a living, everything has run smoothly for the man who will likely add many interesting pieces to Sydney's and the world's skyline to come.

And on that note, of looking into the future and living in wonder of what tomorrow may bring, Missy feels a touch of reverse nostalgia. 30 Mails have appeared to fly by and i wonder what we will be chewing over in Missy's Mail 60. We can but only predict what lies ahead.

Here's a sample;

Justin Avendano will captain Australia, and in honour of his achievements (though predominately at Northern Districts) Gordon will rename the Cedric Pike Stand, The Pockets Avendano Stand. Sunday through Friday it will remain a place for lolita love to occur coupled with under age cask wine drinking and Missy will continue to sleep there most Saturday evenings throughout the summer months.

Mitch Kleem will be hosting his own radio talk back show called, initially "Mitch and Famous" and later "Kleeming with the stars". He will spend 4 days a week talking to Dick Huey about greyhound racing and Marcus on the political unrest in South East Asia.

Justice Will Sweeney will sentence Dan Lake to 15 years imprisonment under the 3 strikes policy.

Greg Lewis will play for his 23rd grade club.

Ed Howitt will be in a relationship, yet remain unmarried.

Harry Turner will finally tell Nick Franklin what he really thinks of him, causing huge social divide within the club. The Socs vs The Greasers. I now understand that 90% of the club will be too young to understand that last one.

Finally, Missy will marry Ellyse Perry - who will be captaining second grade at Gordon - in a selfish plot to finally get his first over in grade cricket. The marriage amongst other things will fall apart after she insists on continuing to bowl Jordan Liddle's 3rd child ahead of him.

Any danger?

Missy

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cockburn Missy's Mail 29

I've been looking at the names on the list of pre-season teams our faithful selectors have elected. I see some old ones, mostly new ones and the odd ridiculous one. How can you pronounce 'ck' as 'o'. It doesn't make any sense Cockburn. Some chap named Kinghorn played 2 weeks ago. You don't see him gallivanting around, introducing himself as Knighthawk. I don't know you Kinghorn, but i like you better than Cockburn already. I saw the name Medcalf listed in the teams for Round 1. A shiver ran down my spine. Soggy Sao anyone?

Tom 'Shaft' Co(ck)burn

So who wouldn't take a hundred grand to bowl a couple of no-balls? Tell you what, i wouldn't be writing this article if i played international cricket for Pakistan - which can't be too far away can it? The thing i like most is that Kamran Akmal was interviewed by Scotland Yard over his involvement in the match fixing scandal after some inconsistent wicket keeping performances, which it must be said was about as suprising as seeing Harry Evans without a shirt on. Unfortunately for Kamran, he was not match fixing. He is just genuinely awful at wicket keeping. Poor bloke. I can relate to his pain. But ultimately Pakistan are terrific for the game.

I think Test matches would be a little more lively if we all started punting on which direction the first wide will be bowled, or how many studs Salman Butt will have on his left boot, or how many species of bird are nesting in Mohammed Yousefs beard.

My guess is 7.

sweeney Anyway, you haven't come here to read about the inner workings of Missy's brain. You've come here by accident, because you mistakingly clicked 'Like' on Gordon's new facebook page rather than liking your really funny mate's, girlfriend's brother's status. But you're here now, so might as well catch up on the news of all the players who have returned from overseas. In case you don't know we've had 5 players in the UK this winter, each with their own story to tell.

Will 'Wilbur' Sweeney

We'll start in the north with your mate Will Sweeney, who's summered in Barnesly with his team Aston Hall. His modest total of 16 wickets has been hindered by some characteristic time off the field with injury. The last time he played 5 games in a row, Icarus flew too close to the sun and the time after that he and his brother - a wooly mammoth named Derek - were caught in an ice age. Classic Sweeney. I've been informed, however, that his time working in Sheffield's 'Walkabout' has been far more fruitful for the burly paceman. Wilbur returns only a few short days before Saturdays commencement of the Sydney season.

Slightly West of Sweeney is Iqbal Ahmed - playing for Parkhead Cricket Club, situated in Sheffield. Inzi was once known as 'The Peoples Champion' due to his overwhelming popularity. These days, he's as beloved and heralded as Rob Oakeshott's speech writer.

Inz managed to whip up 4 scores of 50+ on his way to 563 aggregate runs, most likely all through mid-wicket and take 24 wickets through his crafty leg spin. Unfortunately for those who enjoy the future Pakistan captain's company (even though he's half Indian) the great man will not be gracing Chatswood Oval (and by Chatswood Oval, i mean wherever 5th grade play. I was only made aware we have more than 2 teams this afternoon) until Christmas as he further seeks his pursuit of the perfect bride.

Iqbal Ahmed I think he said bride. Although he may have said bribe now that i think about it.

I'm not sure how he intends on travelling to so many countries with only a back pack and what 72 virgins have to do with anything i'm not sure, but the mystique behind the man nicknamed 'SuperHyderabad' has always moved in mysterious ways. Ever the centre of attention, Ahmed decided to rip all the ligaments in his ankle a matter of days before he was due to set off for South America. His travel plans are now in limbo.

Iqbal "Inzi" Ahmed up to his usual antics

In 1958 Hanna-Barbera had a vision, and that vision was Yogi Bear. But Yogi Bear and his lovable cravings for picnic baskets was not enough for the humble viewer. It needed something more. That something more came in the form of the engaging sidekick known as 'Boo Boo Bear', more commonly known today as Adam Cubbage who played his cricket in Wellingborough for Irchester this southern winter. Boo Boo hit 453 runs and took 15 league wickets. Cricket and stealing packed lunches aside, the real question is; who has broken more hearts? Boo Boo or Casanova? Judging by the frowny faces on his facebook page... Casanova. By plenty.

I need Steve Colley to do something ridiculous. In the meantime i nothing him. Here are some stats:

Team: Ashby Hastings
Runs: 584 @ 30
Wickets: 24 - BB 5/58
Banter: Zero.

Have a word Colley!

From one extreme to the other, Elliot 'Panadol' Richtor had his consecutive season at Shenfield CC in Essex. 'Biscuits' had a good return of 505 at 35 with the blade, including a fine 110*.

Cubbage, Josh, Steve Colley One of his two other hundreds, albeit in a Sunday league, was epic. 175* off 9 balls including a million sixes. What a legend. I keep checking to see if we're still facebook friends. So far, so good. I also follow him (not on twitter, i literally follow him). I don't know how he did it, but he returned home alive after "visiting a mate" in Ibiza. Apparently Panadol is really cheap there. I reckon he probably swam home. Judging by the pictures he must have, he was really wet.

Cubbage, Colley and Pommy Poysden living it up

Missy, like El Richo, had his second year running in the UK for Surrey outfit Farnham CC. He posted 3 league hundreds on his way to 616 season runs at 41.

However his greatest achievement came upon touchdown at Kingsford Smith airport this week. The pilot's 14 Pinot Noir's started to take effect as the wheels screeched against the tarmac. The back end of the plane threw itself out as if it Reece Bombas' super cool and not at all embarrassing car. A cry hailed out amongst the cheap seats, passengers clenched their arm rests, air stewards sent off final prayers. The co-pilot battled against his machine to regain control of the aircraft.

A fed up and predominately red-eyed Higgins exclaimed 'ANY DANGER?'

Whole cabin laughter.

Missy 'good in England' Higgins

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angus Missy's Mail 28

Oh what, so Hamish Angus is a dual 1st grade representative. Am I supposed to be impressed? Where were my accolades when I drank a glass of pheromones?

Where was my write up when I had dual modelling representation? The whole thing is a farce in my opinion. He's got a beautiful physique though. Doesn't he?

Perhaps Hamish could join you in the modelling industry Missy?

Why do they have to grow up?

I've started this latest edition of the Mail with about 96 questions, and I feel it is reflective of my mood. Why is it that Fester carries a black stocking in his cricket kit? Why is Reg's facebook activity dwindling? Why has James Kennedy joined matchmaker.com? There are seemingly all good answers for those queries, but there is no answer for the mystery that surrounds Will Sweeney's black eye.

Sweens has been spending his winter in Barnsley, near Sheffield, playing for Aston Hall ' a club Brett Rosen represented a few moons ago. Rumours were rife when he surfaced from a kebab house at 3am with a swollen retina and blackened cheek. Could he not handle the 'double beef and chilli lamb sandwich'? Was it an allergic reaction to 'Donny's Late Night Kebabs' secret sauce? One thing is for sure though on an unrelated topic, northern women are strong, and our beloved William was no match for the might of a certain young lass. At least he got a phone number.

After taking 5/42 in the first round, Sweens has picked up wickets steadily and sits on a respectable 15 for the season thus far. It must be very difficult to see that front line out of one bloodshot eye to be fair to him.

Sheffield is a beautiful part of the world. I've never been, but I've wikipedia'd it and I feel like I can save myself the '70 train fare to get the jist. Iqbal Ahmed is playing for Parkhead CC in Sheffield ' adding to the long list of reasons I feel no urge to go there. Ikky has picked up 11 victims this summer, including 4 in one attack. His 182 runs coming at around 22, including a fine 65 which lead to one local commenting 'it was great to see the big man bombing them all over the place!'

It's great to see the big man anytime, anyplace - especially at The Walkabout.

Iqbal is renowned for his off field antics, once claiming that he out drank Richard Kenner. Ahmed's appearance in the Sheffield Times, albeit brief, was due to his late night visit to the kitchen of Sheffields Australian Bar 'The Walkabout' to make himself some chips. You can imagine the owners surprise when he walked in to see Iqbal elbow deep in chip oil.

I feel that threatening him with a knife was a little out of order, but never the less, if I had a dollar for everytime Inzi has broken into a kitchen, well, I feel confident I could solve the recession. Or at least reduce interest rates.

Slightly south of where the sun goes to die, is Leicestershire. Steve Colley ' on his first season abroad ' is playing for Ashby Hastings. I haven't heard much from the young man, which is really to his own detriment because it gives me free reign over what I can make up. Questions have been raised about whether or not Steve will be returning with some extra baggage on his ring finger, but as per usual, Coll kept his cards close to his boyish chest and refused to comment.

Steve Colley It is understood that Kris Colley has had an argument with his elder brother over being snubbed as best man for the engagement by the family's bowling machine. When questioned further, the bowling machine cranked up to 95, with strong left to right bias, and I swiftly left the premises. Justin Avendano's bowling machine is said to be distraught.

Colls has had a great season to date, leading his clubs run scoring with 372 runs at a tick under 30 ' including 2 scores of 50+. Most notably however, he has claimed 19 wickets including a 5 wicket hall. Ben Garratt will tell you, it takes a real man to get wickets in England.

Go on Steve, get a little closer to your fianc'e - Pic can give you all the tips

As we travel a little further south we find the half man, half bear, and two thirds wolf, Adam Cubbage. Aside from spending up to 56 hours a week waxing different parts of his anatomy Cubby has been in Northamptonshire cricketing for Irchester.

Although he has amassed a decent 282 runs at 25, including a 76, he has somewhat disappointingly only rolled out the 55 overs for the summer yielding 6 wickets.

Adam Cubbage It has been a difficult time for Cubbage, who's motive for returning to the UK after a 3 year absence can only be put down to his life-long journey of finding a compatible soul mate. Cubby has searched through wardrobes, comb factories down the back of the couch, in the shower and numerous other places where random bits of hair are found.

Cubbage shows his support for Northhants District in a way only he can!

Adam has been receiving payments from a variety of wig manufacturers over the years for his very delicate and evidently rare shoulder, back, inner thigh and behind-the-knee hair that is scarcely found on living organisms under the age of 103. Wax on Cubby. Wax off.

To the east of London is Elliot Richtor who's playing for Shenfield in Essex. The good news is that he has broken the UK drought that the poor bloke had to endure last year. Fortunately, he will be having no confusion over names as he has shacked up with a certain bird who's name he has recently had inked on his neck. El-Richo, who played for Shenfield very successfully last season, has returned 307 runs at 28 with 3 scores above 50 in 2010. He may very well have taken more than the 13 wickets he has already collected, had it not been for a number of weeks sidelined due to a severe finger injury. The phone line was poor when we spoke, but he said that he popped something. I couldn't make out what though. I do hope he's taken his headache tablets. I know how dizzy he can get after a day in the sun. Richo is heading off to Ibiza in a few weeks time for a couple of days of R&R.

Jesus Christ.

And then there is Missy, crafting his trade in Surrey ' south west of London ' for Farnham CC, the same club he played for in 2009. His reasonable return of 315 runs at 31 including a lazy 120 does not tell the full story of a summer lived on impulse, exploration and penetration. I'm sure my fellow Stags are enjoying their northern hemisphere summers as much as I am. Tell our mums we are in good health and to vote Liberal. I don't care for this Julian Gillard chap ' very feminine.

Finally, I feel it would be reckless, nay, careless for me to neglect to mention Brendan McDonald moving on from the club. As sad as it is to see a tremendous first grade cricketer leave our borders for the rose lined streets of the Adelaide Oval, one must admire his strength of character to chase his dream of one day being accepted into the Catholic Church.

Good luck BMac. Thanks for the great times!

Every word that needs to be said about B-Mac has already been done so, but let me on behalf of all the playing group here at Gordon DCC wish him every ounce of luck that he genuinely deserves. He has been so many things to so many people at our gracious club and I think it's a fair compliment to say that he has earned everything that the cricketing world will hopefully offer him.

But to be honest, we owe it to Jules Stephenson for bringing him to the club.

Missy

Missy's Mail 27

stephenson Missy's Mail 27

27. 27 of these bloody things. I can hardly believe that I've made it this far. It's not so much a time issue. I can believe I've had the time. Evidently I have. It's more so of a 'why' factor. Time is perhaps the greatest commodity we as living beings possess, yet everywhere you go you see people wasting time. Look at you right now; wasting time. How many hits does Facepage and Mybook get per minute? Trillions probably. The internet is but one example of the human race looking for things to occupy time. Sure, there are 'time savers' such as the McDonalds drive thru, but is it really saving you any time by driving 9 kilometres out of your way so you can order your food through what is essentially a giant walkie-talkie?

'Midnight' Stephenson

I often hear people say 'there just aren't enough hours in the day'. I am of the conflicting opinion that there are too many. Get me a day which lasts around 7 or 8 minutes and I'll start to become productive. Speaking of time wasters, that paragraph cost you 2, maybe 3 for you slower readers, minutes of your life that you will never see again. So what's say we get cracking.

The best thing about not writing a Mail for an extended period of time is that people always ask you when the next one is coming out. Of course, there are other benefits too. I can actually give factual news about players rather than scribing fictional (and subsequently more humorous) anecdotes. The downside is that because such a time has passed, I have forgotten most of it.

The first thing that comes to mind is the retiring of Julian Stephenson. Julie-Hahn, Midnight, Stepho, call him what you like, he was a tremendous club man. People will remember him as many things. A great bowler, a laugh a minute kind of character, Paul's son, that guy who takes 900 Neurofan per training. So many memories, no doubt Midnight's greatest achievement however was bringing Brendan McDonald to the club. I'm not sure if the parade ever occurred, but if anyone ever deserved one, it was Jules.

My fondest memory was way back in 2007, when Missy was donning the gauntlets in 2nd grade. We had Blacktown in a world of trouble at Killara on Day 2. Jules had returned from an injury, as was so rarely the case in his career, and bowling at a lively pace. He bowled a savagely aggressive delivery short of a length, the nervy batsman pushed his gloves in front of his grill - mainly for protection. The ball softly pressed the batsman's mits and slowly, almost agonisingly, looped to a thankful Missy who took the easiest catch any fielder in the history of any ball sport ever has taken. Ever.

A rare photo of Stephenson with pads - 200pts

A fired up Stephenson came steaming down the wicket, Shirvington-esqe, frothing at the mouth like a dog full of rabies, he gnarled to Higgins; 'If you had f'n dropped that I would have ripped your f'n balls off with my teeth'. And that to me is Jules Stephenson in a nutshell. As competitive as a dog against it's own tail, with a touch of humour, and slightly gay.

In all seriousness, I will miss Jules tremendously. What an enormous loss to the club he will be. Not only his god given talent with the ball, but his training ethic, his never say die competitiveness and his love for the game. You can't fluke taking 40 wickets in a season in any grade, let alone the top one. Gordon are a lesser club without him. He also owes me $23.50.

In related news I hear Paul Stephenson is selling a camera. Not to mention some website space.

I often find it hard to keep up with the ins and outs of a lot of players. Either I don't know them - through choice (yes Cockburn this is directed at you. I don't know why you think it's ok to come up and casually talk to me as if we're mates. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I let off some sort of vibe telling you that I like you, or even respect you. I don't. If you wish to communicate with me, please go through the appropriate channels just like all the other Missy groupies)' I've lost my place.. That damn Cockburn gets me all wound up. I've completely forgotten what I was saying but the point is Pat Effeney's hair looks like it's been cut with a spade.

cockburn Reece Bombas' car. I'm confused by what message he is trying to send out. Part of me thinks it's a cry for help - ironically what most of his passengers end up doing. Another part of me thinks he wants to be Paul Walker in The Fast and Furious. And the other part of me is thirsty. Not thirsty for answers or solutions; if Bomber wants to look like Corey Worthington, then so be it, no, I am quite literally thirsty.

Does anyone else find this man, Cockburn, gets you all wound up?

'Why are you thirsty Missy?' I hear you query. Well why don't you stop asking so many questions and I'll tell you.

It's hot as I write this. And not just standard, everyday, city-hot. I'm talking sitting in an oven in Penrith, with a ski jacket and a beanie hot. You know when you check the forecast and see that it's going to be a lovely and rather seasonable 27 degrees city, but 106 out west? That's the life I'm living at the moment. So hot that even the coldest, most expensive, most Mark Taylor endorsed air conditioning system can only ever cool you as much as a 90 year old blowing through a straw in Bangalore.

Not only can you cook an egg on the driveway, I'm almost certain you can spit roast a pig in about 45 minutes on any open stretch of boulevard exposed to an ounce of sunlight.

Parking your car in a garage is about as popular as a collared shirt - it's all about who can display their Holden Commodores on the front lawn the best. Evidently it is impossible to place an empty bottle of beer in a bin. Instead, smashing your completed beverage container on the tarmac is as accepted as any Cold Chisel cover band. It's a fascinating place; one which is very different to most of my readers lives surrounding the harbour. There are no caf' lattes, there are no pretentious dogs dressed in designer labels, there are no hoaxes masquerading in Mercedes, Reg.

Cockburn wouldn't last 5 minutes out here. It's remarkable Missy, with all his attractiveness and almost unfairly defined features, (not to mention his ridiculous hair and ludicrous jeans) has managed to not be greeted with some steel in his body. Believe me when I say 'I'm touching wood'. Euphemism.

But Missy's news is all very small time compared to Hamish Angus' fianc', Tora Bright, who has won Australia's first legitimate gold medal in the Winter Olympics, which wasn't won via default or every other competitor falling over. There is no news as to whether Hamish will keep his name or accept her proposal of being called Hamish Bright. Time will tell I suppose.

Speaking of engagements, 4th grade is soon expecting to have a regular 12th man (other than that 'Manager' bloke). Yes it's true, Shayne Lin will marry Terrence. Many of you won't know Terrence, in fact I think it's fair to say Shayne'o doesn't even know him that well. They met at a fantastic place in one of Sydney's great clubs in the early hours of the morning. Apparently, it's a place just for guys. Guys who love to dance. If you want to take off your shirt - that's cool too. There is no judgement and no hassle of trying to impress women, just great guys having great fun. I also hear there are none of those urinals in the men's bathroom, it's all stalls. Exactly the privacy I'm after. Sometimes in a night club it can be too loud for a conversation, so this nightclub is totally ok with taking a friend, or stranger, into the stall with you and having a chat. Seems like a great place to really get to know a mate. I'm taking Sweens this weekend.

The morning after the night before - Shayne Lin - a little blurry, just like his memory

They're having a small commitment ceremony this Saturday. I believe a parade is also planned. Seems a bit over the top to me. I think having a man behind Shayne will really help his cricket. Best of luck to them both.

Pic is also engaged.

But there are many people at the club who are not engaged, and I would briefly like to dwell on them for the moment. Actually, no I wouldn't. But I'll leave you on this point; if Josh Poysden is getting lucky, then so should Harry Evans. I don't actually know what that means, but it sounds poignant.

Missy

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packman Missy's Mail 26

It's funny how often cricket imitates life. We as amateurs often have busy and strenuous lives outside of our weekend hobby. I've never seen a professional who is good at cricket be good at life. However, seeing as my knowledge of professional's lives extends as far as James Packman, perhaps this is a moot point. From my own perspective i have noted on numerous occasions that if my week involves fewer laughs than a 'Hey Hey It's Saturday!' reunion, then invariably i will be given out leg before after hooking down to fine leg. Conversely, if my week involves some work bench action, i am almost guaranteed to be dropped more times than a 1st graders name in a Brett Rosen story on my way to a pretty 30.

Missy's professional cricketing acquaintance - James Packman

Cricketers are a superstitious bunch too. Left pad on first, sweat band on right arm, don't wash the lucky socks, shave the fun zone on Thursday. I think it comes about from a common perception that there is a higher power controlling our destiny's. If you succeed one week, you are almost always going to simulate your actions from what time you brushed your teeth to how much sugar was on the Weet-Bix the following Saturday. For many of us though it's "i won't go out this Friday".

Cricket in all ways; a session, a day, a match, a season has peaks and troughs more so than any other game. It can be as thrilling as a drama, as climatic as an aforementioned work bench, and on occasion as dull as a Friday night at home. No game is as equally mental as it is physical. It is a test of a player's personality, not only of their ability. The weak are thrown out, only the strong survive. Basic instincts are the basis of the game. This makes cricket the most human of sports and hence why we, as amateurs, give up so much of our lives in pursuit of a successful Saturday.

Missy just hasn't had any time to himself of late. FIFA 10 came out on the Playstation 3 a few weeks ago and I'm already up to my 3rd season on Manager Mode. Henry "Kama Sutra" Carmichael has been banging on about Guitar Hero, so another investment may be required there. I must read his self titled book now that I think of it. He seems to know a lot about the way females bend.

This brings me to the beauty of Missy's Mail, and according to Perez Hilton, all internet blogs/columns. There are so many new faces at the club who are unexposed to the harsh realities of The Mail. It's a beautiful thing, and truth be told, if it wasn't for Missy's Mail, fee payers like Justin Avendano wouldn't even be on the map. Manuel will be displeased that I referred to his son as the fee payer, as I'm sure Justin himself isn't forking over several hundred AUD's to be registered each summer' but then of course there are a few I could put in this category.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Manuel for his hospitality the other evening. The Avendano's entertained Missy on a Thursday evening after training and I must say, it was quite the affair. Next week I believe James Kidd's mother will be cooking up her renowned meatloaf for Missy. He's quite popular amongst the cougars.

Manuel, it looks like the Mantra might be a better option!

As great as it is to see some new faces, mostly covered with acne, it's even better to rekindle friendships with the ghosts of players past. The Moth, Stores, D-Rich, Digger, Fester and other players with nicknames have all come back to the club this year for a wide range of stints. Some more temporary than others. With a reported return of The Angry Ant who has been representing Victoria for the past 5 years, Gordon looks to add some experience to its youthful ranks. Once Medcalf can find time away from his recent overtaking of the Arnott's "Sao" brand and Emile from his 9th rhinoplasty operation, the club will take a more distinctive shape. Missy appears to be growing his hair again. It's like we've gone back in time.

There comes a point in every season when my mind is filled with questions. Missy gets confused very easily, but sometimes he is surrounded by such trivialities he often has to sit down and compose himself. For instance; why does Anthony "Wizz" Sherman get his girlfriend to pour apple juice on him, yet he swears he hates apple juice? Why/How does Wizz have a girlfriend? How is Michael Kleem a published writer? Why doesn't Matty Kleem remember when Fester punched him in the back of the head? Why doesn't Morton Kleem write in poem form anymore? When is the parade for Julian Stephenson, for bringing Brendon MacDonald to the club?

Phil Mickelson Then there is Rob Edwards. I'm not sure how to approach our NSW U/35 representative. I feel like there's a joke and he's the only one in on it. FIGJAM as Tom Cockburn has been calling him (by the way Tom - we need to discuss the pronunciation of your last name. I'm no expert [I am] but I do not see a 'gh' at any stage in your surname. Please reintroduce yourself to everyone in the club - and I'm assuming your life - with the correct annunciation. Regards.) ... I lost my place. I was thinking about seeing a doctor. Ah yes, FIGJAM. I personally don't understand the nickname. I've heard that Phil Mickleson is often referred to as FIGJAM amongst players on the PGA, so maybe Rob is a phenomenal golfer. It wouldn't surprise me, he's good at everything else he does. Or maybe he just really likes making jam. Either way, I'm not calling him Zac Effron as he claims many others do due to his "triple threat".

Phil Mickelson, really good at golf, just ask him

I need to sit down again.

So much has happened over the first few rounds it seems like ages ago when James Packman got married, congratulations to him. Although you wouldn't believe it by the amount of social visits he has been gifting to the club. I don't know what happens when you get married but I think the purpose of the game is to see your partner as little as possible. The amount of "one mores" I've had with Matthew Kelly adds up to be about a week long bender.

Congratulations also to my mate Elliot "Disco" Richtor for his promotion into the top grade. I remember blah blah nostalgic story, well done Ells, you are now better than your brother. A fantastic debut from the younger Richtor saw him field for day one and then watch the team bat on the second. At least Missy has dropped a catch in 1st grade. Do something Richtor!

Iqbal Ahmed (what Mail wouldn't be complete without a mention of the people's champion?) has reportedly not only been losing weight, but transferring the lost pounds to Will Sweeney, whose knees must surely by now be as useful as a jumper in January, Dylan's bat, Hoppa's comb, Josh Poysden's accent, and Missy's driver's license. I had noticed Sweeney had gone a shade darker, however, so it's not all bad news for the nicest bowler in grade cricket.

Congratulations to my new favourite play Michael Dalrymple who ended the career of one of Australia's hairiest men, Adam Cubbage. I've never met you Dalrymple, but you're alright with me. Hopefully I get dropped sooner rather than later so we can talk. Until then, don't approach me. Speaking of Cubbage, it's Missy's understanding that Cubbage recently had his back waxed. A violent reaction to the waxing saw his back resemble Missy's crotchal region from a few seasons back after an infamous trip to Bondi via the back roads. Bless you Adam. You're now my 8th favourite leg-spinner at the club behind Heath Ledgerwood.

Small hairy men remind me of Ritchie Kenner, so maybe we should talk about him now. Ritchie is currently living in Singapore after relocating indefinitely for work. He has been put up in a 5 star apartment and been sampling all that is great in South East Asia. I expect he will try to entertain as many female guests as possible in his new abode, predominately unsuccessfully I imagine. Congratulations to him for finding the right "woman" and living a super happy happy fun time life in Singapore.

My final congratulations must go to the whole club for a fantastic effort against the Tigers. Winning all 5 grades is as infrequent as the 4th grade squad not going to the rocks on a Saturday. The club is not as strong as it has been in the last year or two, but there is some promising talent developing in every grade. It's tremendously pleasing. Once we get some decent wicket keepers at the club I see no limits to the success Gordon can achieve.

Missy

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The Ashes Missy's Mail 25

Competitiveness. The fibre of what makes an Australian an Australian. It seperates us, and by 'us' I mean everyone bar Iqbal, from the rest of the world. And by rest of the world I mean Iqbal. This is not to say that our national sporting counterparts are not competitive. Far from it. Indeed I am of the view that all professional sportsmen and Serena Williams are born with a stronger desire to compete and succeed. Certainly more so than your average man on the street. Those who can't compete on a sporting field but are born with this extra strong will, turn into the friend that everyone has, or at least knows, who will constantly one-up you. People do not like them.

My point is that certain countries seem to possess different character traits which strengthen their game and defines them as a team more so than crest which lays upon their aortic pumps. For the green and gold it's a never-say-die competitiveness, Middle Eastern football teams show heart and unity, the All Blacks play with history, the Italians cheat, and the English are passionate.

A fierce battle is ensuing over the small urn to the right

It is this match, nay, battle of passion against competitiveness which makes any England v Australia fixture so mouth watering. The Ashes is the pinnacle of this battle. Like a modern day Waterloo. The winners heralded and paraded, the losers thrown into exile. It is a rivalry so steeped in history (The Ashes, not Napoleon against The Duke of Wellington) it makes the Palestinians and the Israeli's look like a neighbour complaining about a tree branch encroaching on the others property. The British are a proud people and success for them on a global scale has been few and far between. Hek, they still bang on about the 1966 Football World Cup.

The 2005 Ashes series is shown on about 3 different Sky channels nightly. It wouldn't surprise me if people pray to a shrine of Ashley Giles 8 time before breakfast. It is either a very good time to be an Australian living in England or a very very very dangerous time. I recall Alistair Fitzpatrick, now of Mosman fame, returning home with the Kevin Peterson 'skunk' haircut after losing a bet in the UK. 3 Gordon players have braved the onslaught of banter; Ben Garratt, Elliot Richtor and Missy himself.

BG is in Sheffield, Els in Essex, and Missy in Surrey. Rocket is also over here, but he's in Ireland trying to qualify for Prime Minister so I don't care for him.

We'll start with BG in the north as he is also tied up with former Stag and the penultimate overseas player for Gordon, Neil Longhurst. Longers is the captain at Sheffield CC and was kind enough to extend a hand to BG who after recently selling some property in Oz, felt like a stint in the sunny north of England. Unfortunately Garratt has been in the middle of some low scores as the team has been rolled out for less than a hundred on a couple of occasions. This isn't all bad news, as it also must mean that Longhurst isn't scoring runs either. Good news with the bad. Justin Avendano sent me a text this morning (not quite sure how he got my UK number) and told me that BG is shacking up with a nice young bird from Hull named Sherry. Sherry is hoping to receive a baby bonus soon and see's BG as her cash cow. Fair play I say.

garratt Hopefully the weather stays clear for BG so he can hit some form before returning home with Sherry. Their was a level 4 heat wave announced by the government a few weeks back, 2 weeks of beautiful 30 degree sun. Fan-bloody-tastic. Not really a heat wave though is it? Unfortunately, usual service has resumed since those two weeks and summer feels like it's gone to bed. Fingers crossed though.

Whilst back at home - BG's last run in Gordon colours

Elliot Richtor is playing his cricket for Shenfield CC in Essex, North East of London. Anil Kumble's manager sorted him out with the deal. That isn't a joke, he actually did. The Richtor's are big in India. Els has had some success with the blade; 280 runs at 40 including 2 half hundreds. Richo hasn't had many overs though and claimed just the two scalps. Speaking to 'disco' recently he had a great thrill representing his country in an Australian XI v West Indian XI facing up to 57 year old Joel Garner. Old big bird himself. I was convinced that he was bowling 'offies', but Els stands by his claims that he still bowls a heavy ball.

El Richtor Unfortunately not much chat for El Richo off the field. Such a shame, as Essex girls are renowned for their willingness for a late night cup of tea. We've got to get him into London and sort him out as soon as possible. With the festival season well and truly upon us in the northern hemisphere maybe Els will come more into his element.

On the field, Richtor is amassing plenty of runs

Finally we come to Missy who is playing at Farnham CC in Surrey, south west of the capital. Missy has teamed up with former Stag and actual decent bloke, Guy Hicks who captains the side. Missy has had a good start to the season with 420 runs at 55 including a 135 not out and three scores of 50+. There are some quite handy players floating around in the league. Former England all-rounder Mark Butcher plays the odd game when not on Surrey duty, but most notably Saqulain Mushtaq has played every game for his team this season as he is ineligable for Surrey due to playing in the ICL ' the rebel 20/20 tournament not sanctioned by the ICC. He's claimed a lazy 48 wickets half way through the year bowling his well flighted off-breaks, arm balls and doosra's.

Missy somehow managed to survive a 10 over spell against the Pakistan legend with 208 test match wickets and 288 ODI victims to his name. I actually laughed when he bowled me the doosra. Ridiculous. Hopefully some more runs are on the way so I can be in good form when I captain Colts this southern summer. Off the field' well' Missy would never kiss and tell. Reg's emails do come in handy though. Maybe that's a poor choice of words. Maybe not.

Ian Higgins I have only heard small rumblings of news from back home, other news i have written off as fabricated. For example; i choose not to believe that both Packmans are engaged. It's simply not possible. James will no doubt be sending invitations to his Speed Blitz Blues team mates, to which they'll reply "who are you again?" and Moth, well Moth will struggle to find a best man as his best "friends" over the past 15 years have all been female. Apparently Steve Colley was in a car accident, however this also must be untrue as that would mean that he is of age to operate a motor vehicle. Impossible.

Missy enjoying a day off, at the cricket

Dan Lake is currently collaborating with world renowned producer "Timbaland" for his 4th studio album. His motivation behind his lyrics is basically what it's like to "have a ciggy in between maths and p.e. at the Epping bus stop, bro". Mitchell Kleem has been rumoured to be working with Dan on his rhyming scheme. Anthony Sherman has been learning the guitar, simply to prove to his RSVP victims that his dating profile is accurate. Tony Wilson... no... i'll leave Tony alone on this one through fear of repetition.

One thing Missy, along with the entire Sydney Grade Cricket circle, will look forward to this summer is the return to action of Killara Oval. If i never play a game of cricket at Beauchamp Park again it will be to soon. Beauchamp is lovely for post match beers, (held in high regard by Matthew Kelly - a connoisseur of such matters) half-court basketball with your mate "Kevin" and teenage vandalism. Not for cricket. Killara carries a certain romanticism with it. It's a good place for a lap, has an excellent outer ring for bocce, matches are generally high scoring, good pavilion, plenty of shade for spectators and there's always the chance of a casual 'upskirt' being spotted over by the tennis courts. Unfortunately Brittany Spears rarely makes an appearance.

Killara has had some remarkable games of cricket on it in recent history. Nick Cheadle took a hat-trick there (final figures 3-1,000), Parramatta chased 434 in second grade and Higgins narrowly avoided a homo-erotic experience after Dan Mahaffey took 9 wickets in a match against Blacktown. It is also where 4th Grade won the premiership in the clubs centenary year. Brett Rosen has played there. I think that's why i love it so much. When are we changing it to Brett Rosen Oval? Soon i hope.

Well, the time is nearly upon us, and by "us" i mean you. Narrabeen pre-season training. The sessions where everyone checks out the new talent and then writes them off behind their backs to last summers friends. Missy won't be there to run the fitness sessions this year, which i am sure will raise numbers significantly. Maybe Cheads will do it. Or Choppy. Before long Missy and his fellow overseas professionals will be running around Chatswood Oval under lights, taking "hangers" with the white ball from Michael Falk's termite infested Slazenger.

The sunny season is upon us gentleman, go forth toward the light and seek excellence, purity and most of all a schooner or three.

Missy

Missy's Mail 24

What makes Will Smith so appealing? Is it his Boyish charm? His athletic build? His crunching back foot play? Whatever it is, one thing is for sure; women love Will Smith. One of the biggest errors a traveller can make is to bring extra baggage. On his last two flights to the sunburnt country, 'Jiggy' has chosen to bring over potential life partners rather than treat Australian women as a personal smorgasbord.

Cheers mate... Will on his last journey down under

Missy has been overheard telling the local talent in an American accent that he is in fact the lead singer of rock band 'Hinder'. A short rendition of 'Lips of an Angel' later and Missy can be seen in the back seat of his car, with said talent. If Missy can pass as an American, surely Smith can do a decent Hugh Grant. Birds love Hugh Grant. Oh, and before I forget it has recently been reported that Hugh, correction, Will has been announced as the captain of Durham for next season. That means extra exposure for Smith. TV interviews and the like. Something to think about Jig.

So it's been around a month since we last spoke (even longer for most of you lower graders) and there is so much to tell in so little time. Although, who are you kidding? If you're on gordoncricket.com you're hardly swamped. Most of you are at work aren't you! Except for you Iqbal. You're not.

Let's start by talking about 1st grade. What a tremendously successful season it has been for the premier side at the club. Not only are they sitting atop the table, but perhaps more importantly they have managed to blood several youngsters into the team, giving them a taste of the top grade. Cameron Eccles, Rob Edwards, Harry Evans and most recently Chad Soper have all played, and played well in their opening fixtures for Nicholson's team. Let's hope their good run of form continues into the new year.

The latest new recruit to 1st Grade... Chad Soper celebrates a wicket

Justin Avendano correctly pointed out to me that Beau Casson must have had flashbacks to when he was in the West Indies, facing Chad in the nets. He's very Dwayne Bravo-esk. He's an excellent source of information is Avendano. He may be quoted further in this piece.

Ever since Missy's Mail was first conceived I have had a hard time getting Anthony Sherman into any edition I have penned. Which is a great shame, because he is a fountain from which outrageous stories are produced. Anyway, at the end of the day, Pic has found love. True love. I can only assume this is the case because how else can someone so afraid of germs make passionate love to someone filled with germs? Love so passionate that he would ask his good friend Mitch Kleem to bare witness to the event, with the possibility of partaking in the love making.

The story goes that Sherman met this girl at a 24 hour convenient store. So transfixed by this unknown beauty, Sherman fiddled around in his pocket for some spare change, desperate to buy the girl a drink (obviously he had a tissue to pick up the coins). Success! He had $4.20, the exact amount to buy a Chocolate milk. Unfortunately Pic spilled the Chocolate milk all over the girl, who's outfit was now ruined. A quick call to Mitchy on speed dial 1 and he was there to pick up his best mate and new love to take back to his place for a scrub down.

Mitch discovered that the girl must have already had an ice cream before the chocolate milk because there were big clumps of chocolate all over the back seat. Mitch's car has smelled like off milk ever since. However, these two are such good mates that no dry cleaning bill will need to be split. Friendship.

The 2008 Christmas party took place on Saturday evening at The Great Northern, with some success. Most of those who attended were over the age of 18. James Packman had a running joke with the bouncer that only James Packman found funny. Beau Casson brought his Baggy Green with him and was showing his prized possession to all the bar staff to get cheap drinks. Richie Kenner was stealing air.

Packman made excuses... but really... Could there be any?

In fact, I think it would be easy to say that 4th grade had the largest showing of any grade at the event this season. Not only are the reserve, reserve, reserve graders winning matches, but they are also coming to together as a team. Plenty of good blokes in 4's, so I've heard. I only talk to Will Sweeney because he used to play 2nd grade.

A few partners turned out for the festive season shin-dig, but Justin Avendano made a very good point that Beau Casson's plus 1, Cassie Casson, looks identical to her Beau. I had never really thought of it until "Embryo" pointed it out to me at the Orchard Tavern.

Speaking of Greenshield, I did have a look over during Tuesdays session to see the under 16's having a run under the careful tutelage of Rod Hokin. Rocket is a good friend of mine, but maybe it's time for Tony Wilson to implement the "Rocket will never captain a side again" campaign towards his coaching. He has installed club legend Stuart Slocombe as his deputy for the forthcoming season. Stuart "Choppy/Toothpaste" Slocombe was transferred for James "Heath" Ledgerwood from Roseville Shires 1st Grade.

Choppy had some interesting insights into cricket and also life. He would often have a morning rum or two on the way to work and frequently had trouble braking due to tins lodging behind the brake peddle. He has recently gained certification to be a Personal Trainer which truth be told I find to be an insult to the industry. It would be like Missy talking about chest hair, Sunil Sajdeh being a vocalist coach, Julian Stephenson. selling Shampoo, or James Packman or Pic buying someone a beer with is own money.

It just wouldn't happen.

Although saying this, Rocket has handed over the reigns for the fixtures he won't be able to attend to Northern Districts team mate Iain Beverly, so it's not all bad.

I will take this opportunity to congratulate The Beaver on his 6 dismissals on the weekend. Being a former member of the Wicket-Keeping fraternity, or the brotherhood as Greg Matthews would say, I must say it is an exceptional feat to accomplish so many dismissals in one innings. People say it's like a 5 wicket haul or a hundred, but truth be told it's a lot more. 6 in an innings for a keeper may only come once a season, or once in two seasons. It's extremely rare and Bevo should be congratulated on this achievement. Missy has also taken 6, as has Shane Lin, both in 3rd grade. Brett Rosen told me he once took 11 in a first grade innings. I believe him.

It's nice to see any selector at any of the lower grade grounds, especially when 1st grade are doing so well, but 3rd grade have been particularly lucky this season with NSW selector Marshall Rosen showing his face at a number of matches so far this summer. Obviously with NSW looking for a keeper to cement his position in the 'baby blues' Marshall has spent a number of Saturdays keeping (pardon the pun) an eye on young Brett Rosen. Missy continues to score runs in front of the NSW selector, how long can they keep ignoring me?

How could Marshall not notice the poster boy of 3rd Grade - & CK

Finally,I hope everyone enjoys their December 25 this year, may your sacks be filled with joy. Look out for Missy next year, as the sun slowly begins to set on the catalogue of laughs that has been Missy's Mail, which will conclude at seasons end, it's almost a given that I'll get it right in 09.

Missy

Missy's Mail 23

So here we are, number 23. A lucky number for some. A number worn on the jersey of legendary sportsmen such as Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Shane Warne, Michael Clarke, Lance Franklin, etc etc. I've got a good feeling about this one. After 22 cracks at this writing lark, I'm bound to get it right sooner or later.

Another "23" worn by a star at L.A. Galaxy

It has only been a matter of days into the cricket season and already I find myself sifting through anecdotes to regale you with. The mind boggles as to what stories I can concoct, or truthfully report after the ritual of moving time forward by one hour.
With every season comes change and in recent summers the GDCC have seen a large turnover of players. Out with the old, in with the new. Fewer and fewer players have played more than a handful of seasons of grade cricket, and captaincy in the lower grades can be of some contention. Who would have thought that on the fateful day of Anthony Sherman arriving at Rawson Oval last year in less than suitable playing condition that he would be entrusted with the responsibility of guiding Gordon's youth to cricket superiority.

It is understood that the circumstances of last years incident was due to a severe case of tea poisoning. He was subsequently in a daze after leaving renowned tea, coffee and biscuit manufacturer T2's head office in the early hours of Saturday morning. A harrowing experience indeed. An experience that not many of the younger players in 4th grade are likely to repeat, after learning the dangers of the real world.

The English Breakfast variety, also sold in capsule or pill form for a stronger hit

However, making sure that the alarm bell is fully functioning is not the only issue confronting the 4^th grade skipper on a weekly basis. The weekly ceremony of the coin toss and the shaking of the opponents hand poses more dilemmas for Piccy than for Mahaffey choosing which hair care products not to use. Rumours before the season began were that Pic would agree to do whatever the other captain wanted to do without tossing the coin. Other suggestions included putting the coin on a string or more interestingly a best-of-five game of 'scissor-paper-rock'.

Brett 'I'm forced to talk to lower graders now because I am one' Rosen was kind enough to offer Germs his wicket keeping inner for the event and apparently after round 1, no incident was reported. Surely at some point though, something will happen. Missy will be there.

Another man who's coming to grips with his return to the top flight of Sydney Grade Cricket is Matthew 'how many grade teams do Gordon have**' Michael. After being the proverbial passenger in round 1, The Cake (and all his cake-isms) sent his lovely mother, Maria, to purchase a new set of medium sized creams after discovering that his old pair had tomato sauce stains. Perhaps less time should be spent consuming meat pies, and more time introducing himself to the little people at Chatswood Oval. It is unconfirmed whether The Cake has spoken to James Packman this season, believing that Packers may soon find himself in 2^nd grade after it was announced that he had taken a step closer to married life by moving out of home and into a new place with his future wife (who may, or may not be expecting).

It's simply marvellous to see a vibrant Matthew Nicholson around the club at the moment, and despite the fact that Justin Avendano had never heard of him and now refers to he and Beau Casson as 'The one-test wonders', he (as well as Beau) continues to be a most influential figure in the development of all Gordon's players and Sam Bueno. Well, I seemed to have mentioned any first grader that counts so I'll move on to the rest of the rabble. I would reference a Rod Hokin story, however when I spoke to him last, a fly was in my vicinity and muffled Rockets voice quite badly, so I couldn't hear what he was saying. Sorry Rocket.

Congratulations to Cam Eccles who notched his first ton for the club with a chanceless 105 in 3^rd grade in round 1. Echo would have gone on to win the game, however Missy, who was at the other end, decided that he was taking too much of the limelight and eventually ran him out. Missy 59 not out. 3^rd grade 6 points. Well done Missy. Next.

Eccles shys away from the webmaster's lens after two tons on the trot

Round 2, and Chatswood Oval was the scene for another fine Eccles hundred. It's all about the 2's in this story. His 2^nd hundred for the club, his 2^nd this year, in 2 weeks in round 2 in 2^nd grade When it rains it pours. This feat is even more remarkable when you consider the reserve graders were chasing 144, the second highest scorer being H. Evans with a comparatively meagre 14. Remarkable.

Speaking of remarkable feats, how on earth does Ed Howitt 'II' do it? Playing in 3^rd grade with players who were not even born when he began his playing career. However, he keeps churning out wickets and results for the club. Young Chad 'Super' Soper and Jordan 'J-Bomb' Liddle represent a small part of Gordons exciting youth that look to take the north shore club to the higher plateau. I'm telling them to start calling him 'dad', just so he gets used to the idea. Howitt II is also rumoured to be bridging the division between the male and female sectors of the GDCC by tying the knot with a young wicket-keeper in 3^rd grade from the fairer sexed club. Missy always knew he held a candle up to him. He first realised when he saw the Missy Higgins shrine in the Howitt's Turramurra abode. This poses as a challenge for Ed Howitt Snr who is already excitedly making arrangements for a backyard wedding - complete with an afternoon of bocce.

Finally I must mention Jordy Holmes who is absolutely killing it overseas at the moment. A legend in recent years at Gordon (although, undoubtedly, half the club won't have heard of him) Jordy moved to the northern hemisphere for greener pastures, colder weather, and easier birds. The big bad fast bowler has not only been amongst the poles in the season gone, but unbelievably also in the runs. Gordy struck a truly impressive 132 from just 92 rocks in the final game of the league season including about 8 or 9 maximums. I remember keeping in a trial game a couple of seasons ago and Jordy came in at number 11, attempting to tee up everything and anything in order for a short afternoon to be achieved. After swinging and missing the first 13 deliveries he turned to me and exclaimed with that beaming smile of his, 'how good is batting?!!'

That some bloke just smoked a more than a run a ball hundred in the UK. Jordy has just 'recently landed a cracking job' which is sponsoring him to remain in the UK. So it would appear that we won't have the legend that is Gordy Holmes for some time yet. Wishing him all the best though from myself and all of his mates at Chatswood Oval (both of them).

The other must be Missy? Perhaps?

A superb start to the 08/09 season saw Gordon capture 4 of 5 grades against last summers Club Champions, Randwick-Petersham and in round 2, Bankstown collected 0 championship points after The Stags had good wins in 2's, 3's and 5's with draws being played out in 1's and 4's. An auspicious opening to this campaign, but to dust off an overly used clich' which wouldn't have dust on it if it was overly used - it's not how you start, it's how you finish.
'If I were to write a poem, and that poem were to come to life, it would look like Dan Mahaffey steaming in at the top of his mark. Ah yes, that truly is poetry in motion.'

Missy

**nickname courtesy of B. Rosen

Missy's Mail 22

Missy's Mail 22 - Late Edition

When's the next Missy's Mail coming out? When's the next Missy's Mail coming out?? Bloody hell. I never realised how many of you need this. If only your employers knew what you were doing during your 9-5. Disgraceful. So here you go. Here's your fix. Talk about pressure. If this isn't any good, you're going to tell me about it. Tough to please you 'Missy's Mail junkies'.

Harry and Ed Turner - "Boys weekend away!"

Where does one begin? It's been a long winter, 3 months or so. No one is ever sure of the exact length of such a season. Without cricket, the days drift and merge into an unclear paradigm of disillusionment. But with the skies becoming a clearer shade of blue with each passing layer of clothing we can rejoice once more that the sunny season is upon us. Filled with scorching days in the field and cooling refreshments in the sheds. Ah yes, it truly is a joyous time to be living a life.

Unfortunately the GDCC has said farewell to a number of its servants over the past few seasons, and this trend has continued. All have there reasons for moving onwards, but I know for a fact there decisions are not ones that are taken lightly. A good friend of mine, Las Kannangara has departed for greener pastures at Randwick-Petersham. A shame to see him go, however I for one wish him all the best in his endeavours to pursue his higher grade aspirations. He too wishes all his mates back at Gordon a good season ahead.

Former first graders Rasool and Zelma have eloped to Western Suburbs and Eastern Suburbs respectively. Nicholson has achieved the higher rank of NSW selector. Avendano is still at the club. Shame. I'm sure there will be more absentees as round 1 begins, however I am but one man and Fox Sports News doesn't show much Sydney grade cricket. It should. Presenters Luke Elvy (Gordon) and Matthew Thompson (Penrith) are well qualified to do so.

Reece "Bomber" Bombas and his (rumoured) life partner

With winter comes snow. People like snow. It fascinates them. They want to do weird things on it, such as travel over it either with skis or snowboards. Harry Turner is one of these idiots and as you can see his experience will have him thinking twice about being stupid. However, ironically, because he is stupid he will not think twice, nor once. To be fair to Harry this arm breaking incident did not occur at the snow. So embarrassed was he about breaking his Ulna in the annual 'North Shore Arm Wrestling - Sissy Division' competition he travelled to Thredbo to concoct a story and photoshop images of a more masculine injury (see photo at top).

Rumours have been rife as to why Matt Michael was forced to leave the country and travel around the world. Had Michael and Marea had enough an forced The Cake out of his Willoughby abode? Had he become too close with his female neighbour? Apparently Matthews rhinoplasty operation had absolutely no effect on the beak and so, went on an expedition of the world to forget his troubles by finding true love. What is life without love? I hear rumblings of Matty making a return to Chatswood Oval for a more significant stint than last seasons 3 fixtures which saw The Cake score a hundred and bag a few poles in the process. His youngest brother, David, was also spotted in a pre-season training session earlier in August. The club may become just as angry as it once was. The youth should be scared.

Matt Michael getting into some pre-season fitness in the sands of Bolivia

Big bad Josh Ling will also be making a return to the Stags this season once he finishes his university studies. Probably the most likable bloke ever to grace the club, aside from Misdemeanour, Blinger had some time away from the game last season to focus on his charity work in Uganda.

Will Sweeney will not be returning to Gordon this summer after receiving news from his physio (and now best friend) that he will not be able to run for 9 months. His knees are due to give birth. Shweens has been seen at Civic Video investing in such rentals as: 'Shane Watson - They call me the comeback kid', 'Swimming can be fun', DYI - build a better body' and 'Batman'.

Congratulations from MM and all associated with the GDCC to John Cronin who tied the knot in New York City a few weeks ago. Great to see one of the longest hitters ever to grace Killara Oval tee something up other than a part time leggy.

Crowbar looking the part at his wedding - Congrats!

Iqbal Ahmed was there, purely by coincidence however. Iqbal was on a 'tour of information' whatever that means. He says the infidels are in place. I hate it when he speak in his native tongue - Hornsbian.

So the time has come to dust off the willows, warm the backs and the shoulders, clean the creams, duck down to the chemist to get some zinc, and in Medcalf's case, stock up on as many porn site names as possible so you can have something to talk about during the long days outside pavilions. Welcome back to BMac, Juli-hahn, Rocket, Bomber and Wilbur "Jiggysmut" Smith from the land of the pasty whites - we are looking forward to a big season from you all.

With the arrivals and departures that are generally associated with the beginning of the season (and the January transfer period) a whole influx of fresh faces and new talent will be seen at Chatswood Oval as of this weekend. I look forward to meeting you all, forgetting your name and pretending that I'm better than you. It's a great process. Enjoy it.

Missy

Missy's Mail 21

Missy's Mail No. 21 - Coming of Age

My greatest memory at Gordon does not involve any on-field incident, in which I have had many. It does not resinate from a Tuesday or a Thursday afternoon at Chatswood Oval either. My greatest memory from my 4 years at the Stags begins on one barmy evening at a pub in Killara. The GreenGate Hotel, The GGate, The GG, The Local, call it what you like, has seen many an interesting occasion. Forinstance I can recall Mitchell Kleem creating a dance floor in front of the old bar one time, without the presence of music. It was quite something. He was quickly escorted from the premises.

Andrew Plummer everyone! - And would you believe it, his greatest fan in the background!

However this one particular evening brings a smile to my face every single time I reminisce. It must have been around the 2005/2006 season. The GDCC was remarkably different to the one it is today. The likes of Richie Paul, Dave Parfett, Jimmy Hosking, Dave Storey, Matthew Todd, Richie Brown, Sam Hinton, Jeremy Cashman, John O'Neil-Fuller and most notably Andrew Plummer graced the club with their presence. Those were the days.
There were quite a few patrons at the GG that night, I can not recollect why such a number was there, but it was certainly doing a roaring trade; or as Pic would say 'It was (adjective) heavin''. Most of the Stags had already made their way to the pub, and most were tucking into their medium rare's or microwave schnitzels.

Enter Andrew Plummer.

A large portion of those reading this article will not know who Andrew Plummer is. He will be most disappointed that that is the case. I'm sure Andrew is reading this, as I understand he googles his own name bi-weekly. Sorry Plums, that was harsh. Plummer created his own aura, never one to shy away from telling you the facts (about himself) and was always willing to tell a story, even if it was not funny, nor poignant.

The incident is hazy, mostly because this was at a time when you could light up a smoke and be quick with a joke indoors. Thank-you Billy Joel.

Satan, unbeknown to me at the time was taking a short vacation from Hell. He had taken human form, and seemed to be on some sort of mission to meet, and befriend as many people as possible. Usually from the opposite sex and never one at a time. He had changed his name to John O'Neill-Fuller. Everyone called him JOF and his closest associates (of which there was many) referred to him as 2-pumps. I never understood it, something about his 'bowling action.'

Anyway, 'JOF' had seen young Plummer make his entrance. He jumped up from his seat and announced 'Andrew Plummer everybody' and began to clap. The others at the table that '666' was sitting with also joined in. Soon 15, 20, 30 people were standing and clapping Plummer. Before long it was as if the whole pub were standing and cheering. I remember looking over behind my shoulder and seeing maybe 4 or 5 elderly people clapping along. They didn't even know who Andrew Plummer was. But they liked him. Everyone did.

Plums pretended to be embarrassed. But Andrew Plummer never got embarrassed.
Closely behind that event, running in 2^nd place was yet another evening at the GreenGate. 4^th grade had won the Grand Final comprehensively. They won it early on the Sunday morning. By the time I rendezvoused with my club mates at around 6ish, they had already been drinking for at least 7 hours. The club song was going off. It was as if the government had banned singing of club songs, so in protest, we sang the club song over and over. Like a broken record. Except the record would play the whole song, and then restart. I remember there was entertainment on that evening. A young man playing his acoustic 6-string, just trying to make a buck. 4^th Grade Co-Captain of the premiership winning side, Marty Reynolds, told the musician to stop playing so we could sing the song. Security was involved and eventually, security told the guitarist to stop playing. I think that was also the night I met Andrew Johns and Brett Finch in The Empire in Sydney's Kings Cross. Good times.

That was such a long time ago now, Will Sweeney had only had 6 knee surgeries at that point.

But enough of this trip down memory lane with Missy Higgins, surely there are other more pressing matters in Sydney Grade Crickets off-season! Surely, one would think that Missy would name his good mate Beau Casson before he drifted on about his life at the GreenGate. Touch' noble reader. Touch'.

For those who know Beau Casson, you would not be surprised to read this week that he is on the verge of his first Baggy Green cap. Beau Casson is probably the only person who knows Beau Casson who is surprised. I'll embarrass him now by saying that he is one of the most genuinely good people to grace this earth, and he deserves everything that comes his way. Hard worker, strong character, great with developing players, nice eyes, defined jaw line. He's got it all.

Beau in the early days for WA

He would be the first person to say he is lucky, and to suggest that he will be a test player through circumstance, but anyone who has seen Stuart MacGill bowl recently and watched Beau this year will tell you who is the best Australian spin bowler and international player.

Ironically, I once had a drink with Beau at the GreenGate. In fact, that's not really irony at all. Disregard. For some reason the first graders were talking to me, so I decided to make the most of it. We decided to start sculling beers. Why? I do not know. Only a handful of people can say they have had a beer with an international cricketer. At last count it was a meagre 3 billion. Juli'Hahn-Premium' Stephenson was also there, and so was Craig Simmons. Obviously no one had told 'Simmo' that there was a drought on, because he completely disregarded the water restrictions that night. I think I saw him have 3 waters. Prick.

From everyone at the GDCC, the players, the committee, the fans, the sponsors, we wish Beau all the best and pray for him that his dream comes true in the 3^rd test match in the West Indies.

Missy

Missy's Mail 20

Missy's Mail 20 - The Grand Final Edition

[Editor's Note: Apologies to Missy and faithful readers. This article fell between the cracks during the lead up to the Grand Final]

What a season it's been. At times it has been more on and off than one of Jimmy Hosking's relationships, but here we finally are at seasons end. Well, nearly. At the top of the pile, at the pinnacle of Sydney Grade Cricket two teams remain and will battle it out at Bankstown Oval for 3 days to determine who stands triumphant as the best 1stgrade team of season 2007/2008. Those two teams are St. George and Gordon.

Beverley - To be wrapped in cotton wool

Two proud clubs with more yesterdays than a weekend on the History Channel. The Saints boast a whole heap of notable former players and legends of the game including the likes of Fairfax, Lindwall, Morris, O'Keeffe, and some bloke named Bradman used to go round for the Maroon and Whites, to name a few. They are also privileged enough to play half of their fixtures at Hurstville Oval, one of the most picturesque playing arenas available to grade cricketers, recognizable by its cycling track or velodrome around its circumference. Two seasons ago Brad Rasool attempted to run the track in less than a minute - only to fall agonisingly short, by seconds, much to the amusement of his team mates. Wouldn't have happened in Bradman's day. He used to do it in 38 seconds.

Most impressively, St. George have won the Club Championship a staggering 21 times. It has also won the Poidevin Gray Shield 4 times in the last 5 years. A strong club indeed.

On the other side of the coin is Gordon. A club that faced the threat of extinction not so many years ago when Sydney Grade Cricket looked at a 16 team competition. In 2005/06 The Stags finished 20th. The following season 9thand this season 7th. Missy can recall a season when Gordon's premier side failed to win a single match.

Truly a great story of survival.

Now just 9 sessions of cricket stand between what would be the most of unlikely victories in the top grade. Season 1990/1991 was the last time a Gordon player held aloft the Belvidere Cup, but that was many a blue moon ago. Howitt 'Jnr.' recalls the fixture well as he celebrated his 30thbirthday on the afternoon that Gordon successfully defended their 1989/90 crown.

In round 13 of this summer, Gordon sat in 8thspot, still an outside chance of making the 6, but 9 points adrift of the leaders. An outright victory against Blacktown gave hope and placed them 7thon aggregate heading into round 15. A double bonus point victory over Manly had Gordon jumping 4 places in two weeks into 4thspot.

Ever since that win at Blacktown, the first XI from Gordon have never looked back. Wins against a high quality Sydney Uni side including Test Match stars Clarke and Macgill and then knocking over a Randwick Petersham team that included the best batsman in the country at the moment Simon Katich to book a place in the final.

But Gordon is a team full of high quality first graders, and at the moment they are full of confidence.

Wicket keeper and make-shift opening batsman Iain Beverley will no doubt be wrapped in cotton wool this week as he looks to extend his incredible winning run of never having lost a game of finals cricket. I wouldn't usually recommend touching wood during one of my articles, but in this case I must insist.

Reece Bombas, who has been at Gordon since he was but a mere twinkle in Tony Wilson's eye has seemingly recovered from his earlier attempts to head butt a fist and found form at the right time of the year. This pleases Missy, and that's what first grade are all about. Pleasing Missy. Reece is a player of rare talent at the club. And by that I mean he is under 21 and doesn't bowl leg spin. Truly a remarkable feat.

Despite hours of searching, the webmaster was unable to find a photo of Reece headbutting a fist on his birthday.

Craig Simmons will play his final game for the GDCC on the weekend, and Missy has already put a reminder on his phone to introduce himself to 'The Ship'. There were a handful of occasions when I thought Simmons had waved at him, but in fact he was signalling to a first grader who was standing closely behind me. Shame. Seems like a nice bloke, and takes a good picture. Very photogenic.

Of course it is difficult to look at the two team sheets and disregard the names of Casson, or Nicholson, or Henriques but where the battle may be won, may just be between the lesser known names of the two elevens. Who would have predicted Dylan Connel, who was dropped to 3rdgrade for 'being a bad bloke' reasons, would claim the scalps of Ussie and Kato? (Missy is on a nick name basis with everyone in Grade cricket). You just never know who will turn a game, or who will win the game for their team. Because rest assured someone will. Someone will have their name in lights. It just depends from which XI that name lies.

So many quality players have graced the field for Gordon's premier side this season. Durie, Medcalf, Jones, Archer, Dowsley and Garrett are all names that come to mind, but there can be no doubt without the assistance of Higgins, Gordon would not have the chance to reacquaint themselves with Belvidere. For 30 minutes one sunny Sunday afternoon at Chatswood oval Missy graced the field as a substitute fields person. The story is widely told, thanks to some loud mouthing by Howitt and The Peoples Champion, Ahmed.

B. Casson to G. Mail. Usual short rubbish from Casson, Mail cuts behind point to M. Higgins. No run.

B. Cason to G. Mail. Usual short rubbish from Casson, Mail cuts behind point, straight to M. Higgins. No run. Sorry, cancel that. 4 runs.

An interesting twist in the story comes from further inspection of the rules and regulations of Sydney Grade Cricket. Had Missy fielded the ball successfully and not conceded 4 runs Gordon would not have made the finals. It's far too difficult to explain, however you would also be right in saying that Missy is the reason that Beau Casson finds himself on a plane to the West Indies. You're welcome Buzz.

Rumour has it that Brad Rasool will also find himself on a plane to the Windies. However this is for completely different reasons.

Whilst on the topic of rumours, it is understood that Elliot Richtor is to be having some sort of Pre-Grand Final do, or 'shindig' as it is called on his MySpace website. Hopefully this function causes far less media attention than his last orgy, which found Elliot all over the news and forced him to sport a pair of Sunglasses he discovered in his 'High School Musical' showbag from the 2006/7 Royal Easter Show for an unnaturally lengthy period.

Elliot will not be hosting the function on Sunday at The Greengate Hotel. That's why it's not listed under 'MySpace parties of the Week'. However I strongly urge all to attend. This weekend will be a great one for the club and I sincerely wish both teams the best of luck and hope they produce some truly wonderful cricket.

Missy 'insert witty and or comical nickname here' Higgins

Missy's Mail 19

Disclaimer: the views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and are not to be associated with the Gordon District Cricket Club Inc. The GDCC expressly disclaims and refuses any responsibility or liability for the content, style or form of any comments made to this article, which remain solely the responsibility of the author)

What an ugly and ridiculous saga world cricket currently finds itself entwined. The Indian Cricket team and its officials amaze me. I of course refer to the falling out of what was the remarkable 2^nd Border-Gavaskar Trophy Test Match at the SCG, the first of 2008. One of the best matches Test cricket, particularly in Australia, has produced in many summers.

More of the same would see ticket sales match that of last year's disappointing and disastrous Ashes series. However this match will not be remembered for Symonds second Test hundred, nor Hayden's 28^th, nor Tendulkar's 38^th. Heck, I bet even Michael Clarke's 3 wickets in 5 balls will be skipped when people discuss this match. This match will be retold for all the wrong reasons, and given the state of the game itself, in between Australia's strangle hold on world cricket and dwindling Test Match ticket sales, I'm not sure if any publicity is good publicity. But hey, if Britney Spears still has a career, perhaps my opinion is off base.

In what appeared to be a set-up and carefully rehearsed post match press conference Indian captain, Anil Kumble, said dejectedly - to appreciative applause from the Indian media, 'Only one team out there was playing in the spirit of the game. That's all I can say'.
Well hold the phone there Anil! It obviously slipped the champion leg spinners mind that his star off-spinner and renowned competitor, Harbhajan Singh, had been reported for racial abuse and hours later would be found guilty and suspended for 3 matches. Not to mention, Yuvraj Singh had also been found charged for dissent in the 1^st Test match just a few days prior.

Racism in any sport is a disgusting thing. It is petty and weak. Cricket is as much a mind game at the top level as it is a skilled game. Australian players have been found guilty in the past, and quite frankly not enough has been done to prevent it from happening further, no matter how innocent or accidental. Nobody should ever be vilified on the cricket field for race, religion or creed. Andrew Symonds has played it down remarkably well considering what happened in India in October, all things considered.

So what exactly constitutes 'The spirit of the game'? To me 'spirit of the game' is a complete throw away term nowadays. Especially in international cricket where livelihoods, careers and futures are based on a few moments. You can expect it in grade cricket or perhaps even at state level, but international cricket is as much a business as it is a game.

Kumble went on to say that 'a draw would have been a fair result'. This may be true, as both teams were closely matched throughout the 5 days and it was difficult to pick a winner in any session, but not a single player or spectator alike would have wanted that game to end in a draw. It deserved better than that, and it got what it deserved. A grandstand finish. Whether Australia or India won that game, cricket needed a result and the Gods provided.

It cannot be denied that the Indians received many dubious and poor decisions in the match, however this is of their own doing. They have finally fallen on their own sword. We've all seen the teams, particularly teams from the sub-continent over appeal and carry on like school girls at a movie premier. The screaming, the shouting, the over appealing. It at times resembles 11 decapitated chickens in a cage. Umpires are aware of it, and know to look for it.

Steve Bucknor has been around long enough to witness it first hand on every continent and while Mark Benson has only 20 or so games under his belt, he would be well aware of the tactics the Indians have used in the past.

So we return to the post match press conference where Ricky Ponting, a proud and noticeably glowing captain sits and waits for questions to be asked by the press. The Indian media are waiting for Ponting to make a mistake, they're sweating on him to have a go at the Indians. He refrains, praising both teams for the competitive nature of the fixture highlighted by superb individual performances. The Indian press have had enough, and draw Ricky out by all but labeling him a cheat. A member of the press quizzes the Australian captain about a catch he claimed and whether he thought he grounded the ball, then appealed. Ponting is clearly surprised by the question and says 'There is no way I grounded that ball, and if you're actually questioning my integrity in the game, you shouldn't be standing here'.

It's a completely ridiculous question for anyone who has seen the footage. However, the rehearsed press conference has worked' sort of. It looks like Ricky has blown up at the media, and The Indian press are now banned from asking the Australian players questions. Objective achieved. You can imagine the headlines on the Mumbai Times.

I've long been an admirer of the way cricket is regarded in India. If the rest of the Test playing nations supported the game like it is there, cricket would be in a far better state. However, with the good comes the bad, and all I see from the fallout of this Test is burning effigies on the streets of Calcutta. This is the bad. I don't think Mr. Bucknor will be making a trip there any time soon. Nor Mr. Benson. Even Cricket Australia Chief Executive, James Sutherland got a run.

The worst of the worst from it all is the childish nature of the Indian Cricket Board who have threatened to suspend the tour of Australia pending Singh's appeal. Why? Surely the ICC can't turn around the decision to suspend Singh for 3 matches. This would be condoning racism in the game. So is the ICC green lighting racism in the game? It was poor enough that they did nothing about the racist chants from Indian supporters directed towards Andrew Symonds in October, claiming 'nothing happened' - by far the worst attempted cover up of all time. Lazy and pathetic are better words to describe the attitude taken. I bet even the Indian players are red faced.

A simple message for Indian cricket officials on behalf of world cricket. Sharpen up your act, international cricket looks up to you, but most of all needs you.

Missy

Missy's Mail 18

I haven't seen such in climate weather since the early 90's. Of course, this 'in climate' weather I refer to is that of the fires of '93. Quite the opposite we have seen over the first 3 months of the fairer season, with precipitation falling more freely than a lager on a hot day. Clearly I have enough time to twiddle my thumbs, and there are only so many emails I can read from Tiddles, so another Mail is in order.

Archer gets a gig in 1st Grade

The biggest event on the Gordon calendar has been and gone, that of the Annual Stags Luncheon. It can be best described as a success for most, although Iain Beverley could hardly agree with that sentiment after being caught behind trying to put one through the covers. At least he had a crack, good to see Bevo involving himself in the club, this kind of thing would never happen at Waitara Oval.

The likes of Sherman, Turner, and reportedly The Moth had far better success rates as attempts to bring the female and male sectors of the club closer together went as smoothly as James Packman's legs. It is understood that Sherman (Chief Liasing Officer, CLO for short) had a private meeting in the back seat of a cab on the way to "Lovers Lane", aka "Pic's" house. Furthermore, CLO is said to have turned straight a supposedly backward square delivery. This scoop is yet to be confirmed or denied. Dylan is on the case - who else.

Charlie 'Duck' Turner, may only be of young age however is quickly taking over the reigns that Pic will one day vacate. Without a doubt he has the potential of complete looseness that Van Schalkwyk demonstrated early in his briefly haltered career.

As I print the word looseness, wondering whether in fact it is or isn't a word - and how many points I would score using it in the upcoming Scrabble World Championships, another two words rush to the forefront of my mind and come to a screeching halt like burning rubber before an imminent catastrophic car crash.

Mike Weaver.

The man himself - the face of the future - Mike Weaver

Weaver was given control of the empire that is the Gordon Stags Colts earlier this season whilst Millar was occupied changing everyone's website articles, and Trevor Watling didn't return the clubs phone calls.

Weaver set about an email/mission statement that would change the way cricket was played in the Metropolitan Cup. Apart from changing the name of the team to the 'Colts Cosmos' (a reflection of taking the game into the space age) I didn't really know what Weaves was on about. Millar, the man who built the dynasty of 6^th grade with an unprecedented record of 6,891 matches without a loss - 5,345 of those coming via TKO, may have something to say about this change of attitude, though he may not get the chance with so many articles to re-write and photos to edit - when is the next Fantasy League result due out??

Movember, the itchiest and (ask any woman) most unattractive of months has drawn to a close. Many of those involved entertained the idea of heading into Movember, however this was obviously too itchy a consideration as upper lips were stripped naked at 12:01am on the first day of the Christmas month. That is of course with the exception of Michael Falk who resembled the club coach at Gordon a couple of years ago with his new 'Mo' and has retained some growth below the nostrils.

There were some notable entries this Movember; Sajdeh couldn't have looked more like someone out of Dylans kit with his growth and swagger. Kenner should have stuck with shaving his forearms, Creed was patchy, Archer looked like he could have had the number 9 on his back for the Newtown Jets in the mid 70's, and Howitt was forced to change his patented chin scratch to a 3 fingered groom around the front Orpheus.

Congratulations to those boys who entered for a fantastic cause and I sincerely wish some good money was raised. Millar assues the author that there will be more photos posted in the upcoming days and that you can still sponsor the boys throughout December.

Sunil Sajdeh - an early contender for the Mo award

Whilst on congratulations and praise, a huge pat on the back must surely go to Chris Archer who was named to debut in the 1^st grade side to play against Parramatta this round. Unfortunately, rival and all-round bad guy, Beau Casson had done a rain dance for the 5 days leading up to the match, and subsequently it poured all Saturday and no play was achieved. To rub salt in the wound, Casson paid the Parramatta second grade captain to bat in week one so that Arch would be forced to sit in the sheds the following week as well.

Condolences to Archie, but I'm sure it won't be long before he is reselected in the top grade.

From one bowler to another. An interesting achievement that has received little to no media attention is Ed Howitt's 400^th grade cricket dismissal. Currently sitting on 399 as of October 20 (Round 4 vs Northern Districts) Howitt requires one more to join an illustrious group. He must surely get there next time he bowls, however with the rain playing such a major factor in matches of late, that may take till Christmas. But what a present that would be.

It would be appreciated by many if someone could get a hold of Casson to inform him to cease his rain dancing so that we could actually get a game.

Missy

Missy's Mail 17

Matt Michael is a hoax. Gets picked in 4^th grade, 12 months after he was last in 1^st grade, tells the selectors he doesn't want to play under Hashim Amla so he limps into 3's where in his first dig, he hands gully a dolly for 7. He then retains his place in 3's for the round against the bumble bees because 93% of the club is doing the HSC and he goes on to nick and nudge 100 not out, 94 of those runs behind square. The other 6 came from the bomb over mid wicket that took him from 94 to 100.

For those of you in 3s who weren't introduced: Matt Michael

It is understood Howitt tried on several occasions to bring the innings to a declared close whilst the Cake was in the 90's. The Cake turned a blind eye and took a further hour and ten minutes to bring up triple figures. He then has the audacity to burgle 2-2 before the close of play. That is something his youngest brother Dave would never do. Good bloke Dave, not so much Matt.

With consecutive Saturdays now been washed out for the boys from Chatswood it will almost certainly not rain again for at least two and a half years. This is particularly bad news for those who plan to attend the Stags Lunch. I believe it is 4^th grade who haven't played the day after the luncheon in about 4 or 5 years, this trend is set to be broken come Saturday, and ironically, what makes it worse is that due to the changing of fixture from two-dayer to one-dayer the alarm clock will have to be set around 4 hours earlier than planned. Compounding matters, 2's and 4's will make one of the longest journeys for a Gordon player to Raby 1 and 2 at Camden. The shared dressing room at Raby will at least offer some of the players the opportunity to divulge their experiences from the night before.

The Luncheon will be an exciting one this season as their will be around 30 debutants from the players, and I'm sure many more from the supporters section. Maybe the Cake will introduce himself to some lower graders, wouldn't count on it though as I hear he hadn't fully met most of his 3^rd grade team mates. I'm more looking forward to the question Wilfred Owen, sorry'.Mitch, is going to ask Phil Waugh. Hopefully in the form of the A-B A-B rhyming scheme.

Here he is Mitch, get those questions ready: Phil Waugh

Anyway, it has been a very busy time overseas for the Stags, with big news coming from Rosen and Eddington.

Bretty has continued his Tour de' Love through Africa crossing the boarders of Namibia, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Malawi, and Mozambique. His stories are truly captivating. Sand dunes in Namibia, civil unrest, public starvation, and $2.20 diesel in Zimbabwe, sleeping in tents in trees whilst Hippo's and Elephants walk freely below in Zambia, and an African funeral in Malawi. The big news from Bretty is that he is now moving to France for 18 months after a short while longer in Africa.

His cousin has organised an IT job for him there. 3 days a week travelling through Europe on work visits, and the rest of the time working from home, which I believe is 30 minutes from a ski field. So Nudie Rosen's Tour de' Love - African edition, is coming to a close. But when love closes one door it opens another, and soon the Tour de' Love - Eurotrip, will commence.

Speaking of love and Europe, Anthony Eddington's lovely wife Nina is now with child. Who would have thought, all those years ago, that the Twan would soon be a father. Stuart Brand and his wife Danielle are also expecting. Brandy was wed a matter of weeks ago in Brisbane with family and friends.

It seems when people leave the club their real life begins. Not many people have been wed or had children whilst on the playing roster at the club, (except for two-pumps who was married anywhere between 4 and 9 times during his days at Gordon. Records where lost after he lost them in a poker game) maybe that's one for Sam Beuno.

Speaking of JOF (John O'Neill-Fuller, for those of you who never met the devil) he will be arriving back in Sydney in time for Christmas after what must be 5 or 6 months in Abu Dhabi. As will Cronin (John Cronin, for those who have never had alcohol poisoning). An interesting summer lies ahead, which brings me back to Australia.

Isn't it quite simply marvellous to have the cricket back! The best thing about an Australian summer is driving with the windows down, air-con on full blast and listening to the Aussies demolish the rest of the world on Grandstand Radio. Jim Maxwell, Peter Roebuck and the booming laugh of Kerry O'Keefe. Descriptive, insightful, and forever humorous the boys behind the mic on ABC 702 keep me coming back. Here's an example of some quality radio' http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200603/r74772_210339.mp3

The man behind the laugh, Kerry O'Keefe

See you all at the Stags Lunch and good luck for the round against the Ghosts.

Missy

Missy's Mail 16

It seems appropriate for Missy's Mails' Sweet Sixteen that his favourite player, Ian Higgins, was able to achieve such success on the weekend, If it wasn't for Beau Casson's 120 in first grade and Harry Turner's 133* in 4's, perhaps he would be indulging in more of the limelight. But no one player is bigger than the club, with the exception of Ahmed who has packed on a few kg's over the winter, and has now actually become larger than the club.

It was touch and go, but we found a photo of Casson, 'cos he's in 1st Grade.

A mixed start for Gordon against strong opposition, namely Penrith and Fairfield-Liverpool, sees the Stags sitting in 9^th place in the club championships. Of course with so many grade debutants at Gordon this season, this ladder position won't mean much, and with it only being round 2 it shouldn't mean much to anyone. Forget I said anything.

Apart from the afore mentioned achievements, a number of other players have caught the attention of the greater media. Dan Mahaffey's first 3^rd grade game resulted in him returning 4/42 to help 3^rd grade capture a bonus point against the Cats. Ed Zelma's 4/32 at Howell Oval saw 1^st grade get the chocolates in round 1. However, these figures pale in comparison to Charlie Turner's 6/68 against Fairfield in 5^th grade. Charlie, or Duck, claimed the first 6 wickets to have the Lions reeling, before a rearguard action took place and Fairfield were able to secure the 6 points, 8 wickets down.

It would be remiss of me not to mention Ed Howitt Jnr's 4/51 and 3/15 in the opening two games of the season. The major story, however, does not lie in Hoppa's figures. Rather, the biggest news to come out of Chatswood since Howitt's first season (1974) is that he is turning the ball! As in, he is spinning it!! Quite unbelievable. One could imagine my surprise behind the stumps as I witness first hand maybe 40-50 deliveries spinning, perhaps even half of them beating the bat. Remarkable. Howitt leads the wicket takers with 7 at an average of 9.43.

Of all the new players at the club, one in particular has grabbed the most attention. Young Justin Avendano is best described as a confident kid. He disregards status and judges a man for who he is, not what he does. Truly honourable. Here are two examples of 'Avendano-ness'.

A possibly older looking Avendano

Whilst bowling - where else would a 14 year old bowl but in the first net - his ball trickled underneath the net and rested 10 metres away from where he followed through. Craig Simmons, discussing all things Touareg with Tiddles (or if not Tids, a 1^st grader) was a mere 6 metres away from Avendano's ball. Avendano hailed 'Hey mate! Chuck us the ball!' A clearly bemused Simmons had no option but to do as instructed and retrieve the GreenShielders ball.

Matthew Nicholson came down to Chatswood and helped out in the nets whilst bowing some gentle off-spinners. Avendano found himself in the same net as Nicholson and when Nicho beat the bat with a sharp turning, drifting, dipping, bouncing 'offy' Avendano questioned 'Gee, that was well bowled! What grade do you play in'? Nicho didn't reply, as I don't think he has been asked that question since the early 90's, about the same time as young Justin's birth. It's not often that one player can get the same facial expression from two state players. It's not often that a lower grader gets to say anything to a first grader for that matter! I can't wait for Avendano to sweep Beau Casson and then cry out 'Try bowling right handed, champ!'

The beauty of youth.

Gordon's favourite little bugger Brett Rosen continues his travels through Africa. He is now exploring southern Africa and more specifically Namibia and Botswana. Rumours are flying around about Bretty's future and another possible cricketing stint in the UK. Obviously the talent in Africa is not as strong that what Nudie thought and is forced to go through Europe to look for love. From now on I'm labelling Bretty's travels the 'Tour de Love'.

Brett getting some love from the locals

Speaking of love there would be no happier father in Australia right now than Ian Packman. With both sons set to tie the knot, he is in for a proud time in his fatherhood. Neither James, nor Tim have been seen out of late due to them both saving for engagement rings. Rumours a fierce that Tiddles will be hosting a double ceremony in his Woolstencraft apartment for the brothers, but these whisperings have yet to be confirmed by anyone remotely reliable.

Injury has hit Chatswood like horse flu has hit the racing industry. I would list the names of the injured however I prefer to keep this under 4,000 words. I must urge, particularly to the fast bowlers, to take special care in the warm-ups. The club does not need more injuries this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend, there isn't a game that boils the blood more than round 3 this season. Gordon vs North Sydney. The Stags against the Bears. It's much more than a battle for 6 points, more so is it a battle for North Shore supremacy. A huge weekend for all grades this weekend, the club wants 5 good wins, let's get it done.

Missy

Missy's Mail 15

Missy's Mail 15

So where has Missy been? Who cares? Fair point, and I respect your argument. The real question should perhaps be 'Where the hell is the rest of the club?' I have attended all the pre-season fixtures thus far and safely say I recognize a total of 6 players from last year. 62.3% of this year's registered players will debut for the club in round 1, a mind boggling statistic, even if I did make it up. I would have revealed Missy's Mail XV a lot sooner had I known that players like Adam Gilchrist, Jon Moss, John Davidson, and Jim Cattlin (all holding the same cricketing ability) had already left the club. Therefore I have had no news to report.

Brett Rosen scoring runs on a beach where I'd love to be

Anyone hoping to read about the players from overseas can stop reading here. I've given up all hope in trying to communicate with them. I presume the internet has ceased operating in the northern hemisphere.
With September 22 inching closer, almost daily now, cricket die hards across Australia will be dusting off their cricket kits, bleaching their creams and starching their Greg Chappell wide brims. One of the wettest winters on record during the biggest drought we, the human race, have ever seen can only mean one of two things. One, that Al Gore was wrong, or two, that it will be a scorching hot summer.

An exciting season looms at the Stags with so many youngsters and academy members attempting to better the impressive 6th place in last years Club Championship race. Unfortunately for the 14 to 19 year olds at the club, they won't have Gordon's favourite school teacher John O'Neil-Fuller educating them on the finer points of life as JOF has moved overseas for 'work'. That's what I always loved about Two-Pumps. Firstly, that anyone believed his nickname came about from his bowling action, and secondly, how close he got to his students. A real mentor. We all hope this mail finds you in good health Joffa!

Bretty Rosen, another fallen Stag from the 06/07 season, continues his travels around the world and currently finds himself in Africa. He's doing all the usual 'touristy' things - go on safari, see the sights, meeting the people, having a child with a local. You know, the usual stuff. Perhaps he will be unfortunate enough to meet up with Matt Michael who also intends to travel this summer, although with a mouth watering round 15 fixture vs Manly, The Cake may find himself staying in Sydney to watch his best mate Damon Livermore play against his old club in what will be the biggest 4th Grade grudge match the year has to offer. I hear through the Missy-Vine that neither Michael will be playing at the Stags this year, with Dave focusing on other commitments. What a prospect this is! With such less anger at the club maybe there are but good times ahead. Happy, laughing times. At the very least Mitch won't cop it from as many angles. God bless him.

I haven't heard from Anthony Sherman in some months but some guy who now plays lower grades at Manly told me that Pic once again hit the RSVP top 10 in early August. I would pay a lot of money to be a fly on the wall during a date with the Sherminator. Money which I don't have now, but I could probably borrow some from a few guys and then pay them back later.

Good, Better, BIC

Without a doubt the biggest news from the off-season comes from who else, but the Best In Club. BIC. My mate BIC. You can imagine my surprise as I was flipping through my Telegraph whilst enjoying some corn flakes - or whatever it is I eat for breakfast, when I saw my best mate starring back at me promoting his beloved Woolworths. Who would've thunk it? BIC Evans, the new face of Woolworths. Thinking of it now, only about 4 players playing at the club now will know who Rob Evans is, so maybe my friends at UTS Balmain (or the Sydney Cricket Club as they are now known) can appreciate this anecdote.

The issue of the draw this season (Ed. click here to view the draw), as always, will have grade cricketers scurrying through the rounds to see who against, where and when they will spend their weekends. Gordon won't have to worry about trips to Bankstown, Hawkesbury, Sutherland and Sydney Uni for the next 6 months, however it would appear that grades 1, 3 and 5 will be clocking up the miles with away bouts. This comes as a relief to 2nd and 4th graders who, in the 06/07 summer, travelled to Cape Town and back, or at least the equivalent.

I ,for one, am excited about the non-inclusion of the Hawks this year. For the past 3 years I've travelled out to Bensons Lane to battle what can only be described legendary flies. I challenge any grade cricketer to think of anything else at first thought when one says Hawkesbury. But I suppose it is all part of the experience.

Congratulations to Dylan Connell who will lead Gordon this year as Club Captain. A marvellous choice from the committee and I predict good things from Dyldo in the upcoming months. Missy has once again been overlooked (not nearly as big an oversight as Choppy - imagine the rums we would've had) but has been appointed as club vice-captain for consecutive seasons. Missy now holds the longest reign of any other club vice captain before him - which was Ian Higgins way back in 2006/2007. I'm beginning to feel like Andy Bichel.

Of course, this isn't the only change to the hierarchy at Gordon. AJ Falk takes over from Ian Carroll as President, Paul Stephenson is promoted from selector to Vice-President, and most notably Matthew Kelly has graduated from player to honorary assistant to the secretary. When I questioned Kells as to his role, with no intention of mocking him, he threw a cricket ball to my groin. Touch' Matthew. Touch'.

There is only one true Colonel

Whilst dining at one of the many fine Thai restaurants in Hornsby I ran into former good bloke (and Stag) Leon Gulaptis. Many will remember Gulappa fondly for his perfect bone structure, chiselled jaw line, 10 point smile and high pitched squeal. Gulappa has found himself in the centre of more KFC ads, this time playing a man role rather than in the background as previous. He joked that people will start calling him The Colonel, what with all of his fried chicken appearances. Optimistic at best. He's also scored a gig in one of the upcoming government commercials, so watch out for that. I am looking forward to it greatly.

Good luck to all at pre-season, and remember:

'If you play in a lower grade than me, I'm not going to talk to you' Matt Michael (2006)

Missy

Missy's Mail 14

Wimbledon. For the first time in the history of professional tennis, women will receive equal prize money as their male counterparts. Forgive me for firing up an age old argument, however I am strongly of the opinion that this should not be the case. It's not so much that the matches are so much shorter, skill level is lower or total enjoyment is lacking, for me it's more to do with the fact that no one outside the top 5 seeded players holds aloft the coveted prize at the end of the championships in the women's game.

(Missy makes 21. Highest score this year)

Anyone who thinks that Serbian Ana Ivanovic (ranked 6th) can win Wimbledon is an idiot. Venus Williams coming back from a lengthy lay off from tennis was the lowest ranked player ever to win the tournament, when in 2005 she was ranked 14th.

Conversely, need I remind any Australian about the 2001 Championships when Goran Ivanisevic defeated our Patty Rafter after receiving a wildcard entry into the tournament. That's what sport should hold for me. Theatre, drama, a compelling storyline, rich narrative. I like to think that Ivanisevic was struggling for cash in 2001. Rent was due, he had parking fines hanging over is head, child services was knocking at the door and the prize money he took home saved his life. I don't like the idea of daddy's little girl taking home over a million dollars US to spend on the development of her own country club and grooming of ponies. You can't make a movie out of that.

Saying this, I haven't watched a women's tennis match since the delightful, and talented, Anna Kournakova graced the court. So perhaps my point of view is irrelevant.

With so much news to report on it's difficult to separate the good from the bad and the completely useless from the completely unprintable. The good news is that the northern summer has begun and our globetrotting Stags are well into their European cricketing experience.

(Adam Cubbage out of action)

Adam Cubbage, enjoying his first venture away from the comforting eyes of a loving mother has had mixed success with both bat and ball. More importantly he tells me his success rate with 'the ladies' boasts a much better strike rate. I'd elaborate, however I can't bear the thought of Cubbage shirtless.

After a good start to the season Cubbage Wilson has struggled to go on with his scores. Thus far he has struck 351 runs at 51 with the willow and taken

17 poles at 18 after 9 starts.

The last time I spoke to James Packman he told me it was flooding in York.

Subsequently I doubt if he has put many runs on the board. However, that's not where it ends for Wes. One of the rewards of having an internet article is that you seem to have eyes and ears everywhere. Whilst in Europe Jamma was due to spend time with the lovely Kelly in Pisa for her birthday.

(James Packman after betting at Stanstead)

Unfortunately he missed his flight. My source saw Packers sitting in Stanstead airport during a 6 hour wait for his plane having a bit of a flutter in a betting shop. I have it under good authority that Where's Packman has stayed in top physical condition over the winter months.

Hopefully some photos come out of the woodwork and we can see Packers in peak physical condition.

Jules Stephenson has had more success with the bat than the ball in his northern summer, playing in Norwich. 420 league runs and 14 wickets will have Julie-Hahn sending his resume' for opening batsman duties in higher grades this year.

A couple of weeks ago Stepho caught up with B-Mac and the two had planned a

2 day trip to Dublin. Jules drove from Norwich to Reading, approximately a 3 hour endeavour to meet up with Macca before catching a 6am flight from Stanstead airport (no doubt having a chat to Packers, who was still punting) to Dublin.

(Jules and Bmac on their way to Brighton, who forget his passport?)

The well planned excursion came falling to pieces after Midnight remembered he had left is passport back at Norwich. Quick thinking and still a burning desire to push on with the getaway for two found them spending their 2 days in Brighton. Unbeknown to the two Sydney boys, Brighton is the gay capital of England.

On a completely unrelated topic, the only thing I've heard from B-Mac thus far is that he saw Anne-Louise in Denmark a few weeks prior to the commencement of the cricket season. That's all I'm allowed to say. For more information, you can check page 3 of The Sun newspaper. B-Mac and Midnight are to attend the running of the bulls in Spain in a few weeks. Hopefully a non-homosexual story will come out of that.

Ed Howitt Jnr and Jordan Holmes provide me with the most entertainment for this instalment of Missy's Mail. It pains me to provide my faithful readers with the statistics of Howitt's summer.

420 League runs at 84

3 half hundreds and 1 ton

Wrench percentage: 93.6% (apparently it doesn't count if the wrench gets a leading edge)

151* in a 14 over match

(Hoppa in England)

15 League wickets at 23

Best of 5/15

Off-Breaks 0.8% (this may be generous)

Jordy Holmes, playing down the road from the irrepressible Howitt, has also found some rhythm in the UK. Firstly, I must publicize Holmes is in fact working in a fitness centre - as a fitness instructor. Far be it for Higgins to be critical of the lifestyle, physique, and or etiquette failures of Gordy, however I, amongst others, found this to be a source a great amusement.

The last time I spoke to Jordy he had only played in 3 League matches, he was already averaging 48 with the bat and picking up plenty of poles - including a best of 3-14 off 13 consecutive overs.

Much more interestingly Holmes claims the real story is not how many runs Hoppa is scoring, it's how many he's going for. At Hoppa's club, Jordy continues, there is a 50p fine for pavilion damage off your bowling and word on he street is that Jr. is coughing over 2 pound 50 a game. Holmes continues with his allegations saying that Howitt had bowled 32 overs with figures of 1 for 145.

The story takes a interesting and spiteful turn when in the local derby Holmes and Howitt Jr. were to collide head to head in a 20/20 fixture.

(In case you didn't know Jordan is the one on the left)

Howitt to narrate:

Lets just say in a 20/20 over game he came on and bowled to me. 1st ball nicked past keeper 4, 2nd ball middle stump knocked back trying to hoick to cow corner...oh, sorry jordy...NO BALL ( means next ball free hit). 3rd ball 6, hook over mid wicket, last ball 4 over point.

When I questioned Jordy about the matter he replied; 'No comment'.

As for Missy, he/she has 'attained majority' as Kelly put it so elegantly in a text message. Turning 21 is a major milestone in the life of any young Stag. I got a phone call from Tiddles on the day and he waffled on for a good 23 minutes about how everyone told him he would never see 21. Now he sees 21 year old all the time'touch' Tids. Touch'.

Will Sweeney made a speech at the 21st 'kegger' recapping every regret I have ever had over the past 21 years. Photo evidence of the early morning can not be provided; the courts are yet to release Richie Kenner for his part in the violation of the neighbourhood.

Many of you will be surprised to learn that Missy is so young, all I can say is that I'm 2 years older than when I started.

All fan mail can be directed through http://www.fitness-4life.com.au/ now there's a free plug if ever I've seen one.

Missy

Missy's Mail 13

Missy's Mail 13

There is so much interesting material out there on the internet. I'm not sure one would describe it as light reading, however it's comical value can not be denied and it comes from all around the globe. Whether it be in Germany, where students can now study the fine art of kebab making and receive a diploma, sex in the bathrooms of the Clovelly Hotel in Australia, or the condom found in a New Zealand 'Happy Meal'.

Parfett and Richie Paul with Missy

My personal favourite comes from Japan where 'fake poodles' have been sold. Obviously it has become quite widespread as it has been international news. The real kicker here though is that the animal being sold as a fake poodle is a sheep. That's right, it's not a typo. Sheep. A 'Bollywood' film star of Japanese heritage was also involved in the chaos, and on a late night talk show questioned why her new dog didn't bark, instead it went baaaaaa.
With so much ridiculous news out there, it's hard for an idiot like myself to keep up with the competition, but what the hell. Here we go again.

I'll start with the rather eventful departure of talk show host to his own life, Neil Longhurst. I was fortunate enough to have the pleasure to drive Longers to the airport on Tuesday, the day before Two-Up Day, or ANZAC Day as it's known to RSL members. Traffic was horrendous, a quite literal quagmire consumed the roads. Sure we were driving in peak hour, but still who's driving to the city 4:45pm? Apparently everyone was, to answer my own rhetorical question. Fortunately I had out smarted, out witted and out played the RTA and allowed for such a lengthy traffic delay. What I had not allowed for was my engine overheating. The ever reliable Toyota Corolla, circa 1912, which had never given me a problem decided to play a nasty trick on Longers and break down, without a hope of the engine restarting. I'm not sure if there is ever a good place to break down, maybe inside a petrol station, or outside an NRMA office, however the right hand lane of the Eastern Distributor does not come under the column of 'good places to break down'.

And let me tell you, the motorists were angry that day my friend. There was about 100,000 cars behind me - added by the teaming rain outside - and it would be lie if I said I didn't appreciate the constant honking of horns to acknowledge my bad timing. It wouldn't surprise me if someone who is reading this saw me - cheers for the help. Bastards. The engine was completely dead. The NRMA was informed, and a tow truck was organised.

Longhurst, Missy... Priceless

The real problem was that Longy had to be at the airport in about 30 minutes, there was no chance we were going anywhere and I think it's fair to say he would have been the first person ever to get a cab from inside the ED. He rang the airport and agreed that if he never came back to the country he would be given an extra hour and half to his arrival time. Longers was relatively calm for someone who was about to miss his plane home, but understandably edgy. I was far more relaxed and questioned whether we were on the radio in every traffic report in Sydney. I'm not sure my jovialness was appreciated.
The Tow Truck driver came, and it was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, to get out of my broken down automobile to face the swarms of fuming road users. Luckily I had decided to wear pants that day. In the truck, Longers was making new best mates with the driver whilst I was more pensive over the state of my car. The car was quickly fixed by an overly friendly tow-truck driver and we were soon back on the roads and at the airport to see Longy off for the last time. On behalf of the GDCC, I'd like to thank Longers for coming out here to play for our club. The club won't quite be the same without him around, definitely quieter though.

All the best Longers, hopefully you can come back out here soon and we wish you all the best until then mate.

As for the next day, Two-Up day, I ran into a couple of former Stags in the shape of Dave Parfett and Richie Paul at 'The Dolphin' in Surrey Hills. Dickie in fine form as per usual and Parf well on his way to a solid evening. Both Dave and Richie left the club 2 seasons ago to focus on their work commitments. Parf is still going round for the Beecroft footy club and will match up against 1st grade opening bowler and Lindfield Rugby stalwart Dylan Connell in a few rounds time. Richie is heading to England in August for a 2 year working stint.

Sam Hinton has been in the wars, regular readers will remember he had some shoulder problems late last season due to a lengthy stint of One Tree Hill on the couch. This time Hint-Dog's injuries are far more serious. He has some elbow ligament damage and was looking at one stage at needing a full reconstruction. The good news is that won't need to happen, however he will require a large amount of rehab during the winter months. It's important that I do not exaggerate injuries, last year I had Las out of action for the early part of the cricket season. Turned out he was fine, and because of my report he was almost not selected in Round 1. Sorry Lassie mate.

Speaking of Sri Lankans, it would be remiss of me if I did not mention the farce that was the entire 2007 Cricket World Cup, which I'm almost positive started some time around mid-July last year. The tournament could not have gone worse for administrators. The final and the complete debacle which it was, was without a doubt a fitting end to a terribly run, organised and supported event. I'm sure everyone in the world was cheering on Australia though, I don't think they're sick of us winning everything yet. I presume Sri Lankan captain Mahayla Jayawardene's waxer couldn't make the trip to the Caribbean as he is currently sporting the proudest mono-brow in international sport. Enough of opposition captains, Ricky Ponting's no oil painting either is he.

Missy has again fallen for the fairer sex

One man who would be lapping up the attention for being Australian, and subsequently good at everything, is Rod Hokin. Currently spending his southern hemisphere winter in Dublin where there are 20,000 more of the fairer sex. Rocket has also been picking up wickets, not just women, although I suppose it is actually Jack Hokin (the Australian surfer on a world tour - and Rod's alter ego) who is actually getting the notches on the belt. Rocket has claimed 2, 3 and 4 wickets in his first 3 games, and scored an impressive 75 retired in a friendly fixture after (his words not mine) 'people in the bar were being threatened by some long bombs'.

As for Missy, he is well and truly back in the game we call love. Good times.

Stay sexy

Missy

Missy's Mail 12

The end of another season and no doubt a memorable one for the boys from Chatswood. With a number of players saying goodbye indefinitely to the club, Gordon will have a new look for season 2007/08. Ridiculously senior players in the form of Falk, Stobo, Wilson may be forced to take on a leadership role in higher grades next year. Particularly Michael Falk who is keen to stay ahead of Damon Livermore in the runs for the club race. Falk sitting on 9,881 must be weary of Livermore who will captain next seasons 4th grade team, attempting to be the first man to score 4,500 runs in the one season.

(One of many of Will Smith's farewells)

As stated previously, many players won't be at the club next season which will indeed give opportunities to younger players, or if the selectors follow the Australian Rugby Unions lead, they will be forced to tempt a number of Baseball, Softball, and T-Ball internationals with some considerable cash to cross codes.

I have been privileged enough to attend to a number of farewells for departing Stags. Will Smith, Jordy Holmes, Neil Longhurst, Bretty Rosen have all had shin-digs to send them off in style. Brett's farewell has cost me an arm and a leg.

I've had to pay for his plane ticket, one way, and his accommodation all around the globe. Now all I have to do is put illicit drugs in the Dazzler's bag at customs in July, and rig Harry Evans HSC results forcing him to stay in school for another 12 months. For my sake let's hope Craig Knight isn't back next year, otherwise I'll never be able to buy my way into 1st grade.

(Jordan Holmes)

Although all the players who won't be around next year will be sorely missed both on and off the field, I think I'll miss Jordy the most. Such a character is Holmes, he epitomises how life should be lived. To an extent anyway. Always full of energy, a great man to have in your team and your club. If one things a certainty it's that you'll get 100% out of the hairiest man in Grade cricket. Probably the most annoying person I know as well. Loves to hit people - particularly the pretty ones. Needless to say I've copped many a beating from Holmes.

The usual suspects will be travelling overseas in the Australian winter for some off-season cricket. Jules, B-Mac, Cubby, Reg and Hoppa will all be making the voyage across the seas for the 5 month tour. I've heard rumblings that Reg is off to Holland. No doubt B-Mac will be making a quick stop off in Denmark to visit Gordon's favourite significant other, Anne Louise.

The 3rd grade Grand Final, as disappointing as that result was for Gordon, saw a good turnout from current and former Stags. Dean Goldsmith and Richie Paul were both spotted down at Chatswood a well as Mark Weise and Gareth Wright who intend to return to the club next season. Dane Tills was there as well, recalling stories of his days in Bathurst Uni and the times he shared, the people he met - and slept with. Good times. His manager, Nick Medcalf was also seen lingering. The post match celebration was ridiculous. There's plenty of youth in the 3rd grade team. There was so much wetness behind the ears I almost slipped and fell as I walked into the Chelsea Bar to meet with the runners-up. A good night was had by all and that's all that needs to be said.

(Looking good Hosko)

I spent the evening with E-Ric, D-Ric, and Jimmy Hosking who had a tale to tell or two. Most notably his run-in with former Miss Universe, and my ex-girlfriend Jennifer Hawkins (Hawko to me - and JOF). When Jimmy arrived outside Cargo Bar in Darling Harbour in a cab and in a state of healthy intoxication, he was surprised to see the first face he came across was that of the new Myer Spokes-Model. Jimmy said he was looking good - and he knew it. I believe him. When is he ever not looking good. She looked at him. He looked at her. Time I'm sure stopped for a while, and Hosko had nothing.

Nothing came out. So star struck was 'Van Damage' (the artist formerly known as DJ James Hosking), that he was unable to produce the perfect pick up line. So on she went, I'm sure heart-broken. Jimmy's one chance with Hawko, gone. Poor Jimmy, he told the story and was evidently heartbroken. I'm sure she's crying into her pillow somewhere. Oh wait, no she's not. She's travelling around the world for television production 'Getaway' and if I'm not mistaken in a relationship at the moment. But still a brush with fame for Hosko.

Finally the prize for 'Tool of the Week' goes to Dave Millar. Even though I have watched in awe as the Colts unbelievable season has unfolded, I must bring down their fearless leader a couple of notches after what happened in their semi-final against Blacktown. As me old mate 'Millsy' was batting on his way to an unbeaten 60 odd he required the sight screen to be moved.

(Missy preparing for next season)

Because the opposition were young and not as developed as a man like Millar (I'm told one of their players was 12 years old - no that's not a joke - well it is but I didn't make it up) he decided to take his gloves off, drop the bat and then run 50 or so metres to move the sightscreen for himself. If only the GDCC's paparazzi member had not been in the trees taking snap shots at Chatswood oval. Forget the leaping lizards competition, that would have easily been the photo of the year.

Thank-you to the Colts who saved me from running naked from the Green Gate to the Harbour Bridge. Midway through the season I had made a bet that if the Colt's didn't win back to back premierships I would make the 20km journey up the Pacific Highway. The grand final came and the Gordon boys had me half nude at 6-90. Luckily for my dignity and modelling contract, Ian Skinner took the score to 180. Sam Hinton eased my nerves stating at 6-90 'That's 50 too many, the Colt's won't need to bat again'.

He wasn't too far off, and the close of play saw premier candidates Randwick-Petersham 6-28. The match was declared a draw the following day - Colt's were back to back premiers and I've stayed warm ever since.

Missy's Mail 11

I have been given a challenge. Life for one M. Higgins has certainly become interesting and I have been asked to write about it. The premise of Missy's Mail is indeed to write about the off-field happenings of the club, but with 90% of Gordon's players living comparatively boring social lives, perhaps my anecdotes are what is needed for the 11^th instalment of the mail. There are only so many stories I can tell about Tiddles and they all usually end the same way - with a happy ending.

Michael D. on the D-Floor

However one must be careful. My parents hosted a dinner party a couple of weeks ago, and apparently their guests were big fans of Missy's Mail, they were able to tell them about all that I had been involved in. This gets me to thinking that you never know who is reading what you write. Hopefully not many lawyers. Kelly and Sweeney excluded. Besides, maybe it's time I got a dose of my own medicine. But alas, I had written about 1200 words about my own experiences over the past few weeks, however they were so scandalous that I'm sure no self respecting editor would allow for his or her website to post such readings. So it will have to be the usual. Good times.

The Howitt residence was the setting for the annual 2nd grade get together (I presume next year it will be the annual 5th grade get together after Hoppa takes over the reigns from the ageless Dave Gray), and what a resounding success it was as per usual. Rod "Rod Hokin" Hokin and John "Speak of the Devil" O'Neil-Fuller took out the coveted bocce tournament, receiving a fiercely sort after pen from Ed Howitt Senior's work. Some of the other boys decided to give a former test cricketer a ring to book him to speak in front 500 university students, which was well received by all involved and Longhurst survived a close call with death with a cut toe after he was body slammed by Jordy "Bear" Holmes in the pool.

How he's managing to finish the season with such a savage injury is a true testament to the Pom's character. Only JOF, Jordy, and myself made it out to the Cross that evening. I found myself in Bondi later that morning, not nearly enough aid...but that's all I can say for now.

Careful Missy! Don't get too close to that toe

Jordy Holmes celebrated his 22nd birthday (he claims 22, I think 48 is perhaps more realistic) on Saturday night with an evening distributed between the Mosman Hotel, and Hotel Cremorne aka Minsky's. A handful of Stags participated in the festivities including Longhurst, Cubbage, Michael D., Livermore, and Higgins. I don't care what you say about Dave Michael, the man can dance. I spent a good 2 hours with Dave on the D-Floor inside Minsky's. The problem was that the place was dead and there wasn't a single soul on the D-Floor with us. The only time we left the floor was to head to the bar to drink either JagerBombs or Vodka Red Bulls. I think I ended up back in Bondi later that evening as well.

Injuries can come at inopportune times. You never know when your body is going to give in to the stresses of life. Sam Hinton obviously wasn't expecting to strain his rotator cuff from lying on the couch. But he did.

1st graders must be in tip top condition at all times, not unlike The Cougar - Barry Dawson. Unfortunately for Hint-Dog the story worsens. I have it under good authority that Hinton was in a daze and couldn't move himself from a self inflicted One Tree Hill Marathon on DVD - thus causing some stiffness in the right shoulder. So bad was his injury that he was unable to field for the 2nd day of the clash with Mosman. Well, so he claims. I could have sworn I saw Hint-Dog queuing up outside JB Hi-Fi's for the release of One Tree Hill Season 2 on DVD. Matt "The Cake" Michael got the phone call early on Sunday morning. Luckily his night on the booze was rather sedate in comparison to that of previous evenings.

Nick Medcalf was the first choice for the Hinton's replacement as I understand it after having a mixed day in 2nd grade the day before. Tillsy as he is affectionately known, scored a match winning 51* in the first innings and then taking 4-20 odd ending any hope Mosman had of chasing down Gordon's total. When he returned to the dressing room he and John "Damien" O'Neill-Fuller had lost a substantial amount of money which had been taking from their wallets. Not only this but Medders discovered the half eaten banana which Reg had put in his shoe during the luncheon interval. Poor old Medders. Couldn't have happened to a worse bloke.

Speaking of bad blokes, Craig Knight has left the club for at least the next 4 years to pursue his university studies in Western Australia. I was not aware that he was leaving for so long until just recently when I had the chance to have a chat with him. I sincerely wish Craig the best and hopefully he will return to the club in the future. Craig has been a stalwart of sorts for Gordon, and he's one of the guys that everyone in the club knows. Everyone except for Craig Simmons.

Hinton's weakness... One Tree Hill

It was fantastic to see some non-regular patrons of the Greengate frequent the famous Hotel on Sunday evening, with a little temptation from Falk and Wilson of course. No doubt the big hit were Beau Casson's white pants which he obviously stole from the set of Miami Vice as Sam "One Tree" Hinton so rightly pointed out. My memory of the evening is hazy to say the least; I had not been home from the night before when I re-started to drink on Sunday. I think I saw the Moth there with the lovely Heidi. It almost goes without saying. Doesn't it. If you see one, you invariably see the other. Wouldn't be surprised if Heidi starts training the boys down at Chatswood Oval on a Thursday afternoon. Although, I suppose if they are out socialising I don't have a problem with it. But it must be difficult for the Moth sometimes - what with me there, his first love, and Heidi, his second prize*. Thanks again to Tiddles and AJ Falk for putting money behind the bar. A good time was had by all.

So for the 3rd time this season Gordon has one all 6 grades. Mosman being the latest to join Wests and Blacktown. What about Dave Millar's colts? Surely paying $1.05 for going back to back titles. 3rd Grade is back where they belong, holding outright 1st place. 5ths are looking as good as they ever have and 2's and 4's a still in there with a fighting chance. It's an exciting time of year.

*please don't call me Heidi or give me hate mail. The Moth loves you**.

**Sorry Moth.

Missy

Missy's Mail No 10

Missy's Mail No.10

Where does one begin?

It's been around 2 months since my last post, and I've been questioned on a regular basis when the next Missy's Mail is coming out.

So'. Where have I been??

Well, in short, my absence is due to a bad break-up. I'll spare my readers of the finer points, as there's no need to dwell on the past, but with time healing old wounds and new love on the scene, Missy is back to fulfil his contractual commitments and finish off the 06/07 season.

(Wayne Phillips)

It's difficult to know where to start. With so much already been and gone I'm not sure what to include and what to exclude. For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is Mitch asking Wayne Phillips where he gets his haircut, at the Gordon Luncheon in front of 400 odd people.

This coming from the fashion guru/life coach who when asked how he gets his hair in a Mohawk he replied, and I quote, 'It's all natural. I sleep on both sides of my head, and so it makes my hair go up in the middle'.

(Falky doing what he does best)

I'll excuse Mitch for this lapse in concentration. There was a lot of alcohol consumed on that afternoon. The luncheon again was a tremendous spectacle and thoroughly enjoyed by all, especially by A.J. Falk, who was tearing up the D-Floor as if he planned to make restorations to Wallaby Bar.

Whilst, of course, staying cool in a pair of authentic 1937 aviator sunglasses.

Brad 'The Dazzler' (as he's been known of late) Rasool must surely get a mention.

Not necessarily for his batting feats, but more for the fact that his name alone increases hits on the web page by 63%. He will be sorely missed around the club when he leaves for university exchange, and I urge someone to develop a ridiculously ridiculous laugh so his lack of presence will be slightly less noticeable. Pic will be bitterly disappointed that he can't bend his young mind over winter down at the rocks.

(The dazzler celebrates his 239)

Richie Kenner, and Craig Knight are also having brief sabbaticals, however due to the lack of friendships both of these men are able to maintain, they will be significantly less missed. Craig Knight made some friends inside Cargo Bar on the night of the luncheon by telling Packers to score some runs' Perhaps not the best thing to say when your struggling to make 30's yourself in Colts. Mitch again chimed in after writing a ballad for James Packman - minus a guitar rift - in the tune of the sculling song. It went a little something like:

'Here's to 20 he's true blue'.'

Mitch subsequently suffered 38 stitches to the forehead and missed 4 rounds of cricket.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and New Years. There are always a few stories to come out of the last week in December, and this year for me was no different. My December 25 was as planned. Christmas Day.

(Craig Knight)

Fortunately I had received the latest 12th man as a gift from my elder sister and had an opportunity to hide in my room for 120 minutes away from the family who I believe were discussing a boat they once sailed on in 1804.

New Years was scandalous. I started proceedings at the Hosking residence at around 5 in the afternoon. Myself and Jimmy Hosking's younger brother, Dave, attended a couple of house parties before returning back to his place to finish the drinks we had started earlier the day before.

I had purchased a case of Heineken, and had learnt that Hosko had acquired a bottle of Vodka. Being the smart drinker I am, I decided to buy 24 cans of red bull, so that we could have 12 vodka red bulls each. The problem was that we had our last vodka red bull at about 6:30am January 1.

We went to bed. Separately I should add. However, to our amazement we couldn't sleep. Not only could I not sleep but I was keen to attend a marathon somewhere and sprint it. I was bouncing off walls. Literally at times. It was one of the strangest emotions I've ever experienced. I was exhausted from drinking for close on 12 hours, yet felt the need to talk as quickly as Mark Taylor and run up and down trees in the neighbourhood. I just don't know how Pic does it every week?!

("5 - Neil" Longhurst)

Anyway I survived that somehow, even though I was surely experiencing heart palpitations, and got to see the Aussie XI go round to make it 5-0 from the comfort of my own home. Gordon's Barmy Army import, Neil Longhurst, was given the most brilliant nickname, by a 9 year old no less, he was coaching during the week at a cricket camp. '5 Neil'. Absolutely superb. That 9 year old is going somewhere. Maybe we can get him in to replace me from the website.

Unfortunately some bad news. Gordon has lost it's Best In Club. We are now BICless. Rob Evans has decided to hang up the boots in favour of a career behind the weights machines. Obviously his training schedule couldn't allow for Saturdays to be consumed by cricket, Saturday's chest and guns. Jokes aside, it's a shame to see BIC go, but we wish him the best and perhaps we'll see him back someday.

This does leave the title of BIC open though. All suggestions will be seriously considered. Who will it be? Medcalf? Garrat?' Watling? Time will tell.

(Missy says farewell to Best In Club)

Finally I have some dirt on Ahmed. It's been a long time coming, but now I have something to get stuck into him about. He has a new lady friend. I believe they met at SBS HQ (Sydney Bombing Syndicate Headquarters), and have been slowly evolving into one as their journey of love for each other, and for backpacks, blossoms into a prosperous future. He has been strangely absent from a number of Gordon functions which leaves me to the belief that he is choosing dates over mates.

Typical. I feel heartbroken. He promised me so much, did Ahmed, that bastard. All you men are all the same. Just use me for my immaculate hair and unblemished skin, then leave me for someone who has an X chromosome.

(Iqbal)

Anyway, I appear to have become rather gay all of a sudden. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Maybe I should leave before anymore skeletons come out of the closet' pardon the pun.

Missy

Missy's Mail 9

You just can't win with some people. I've heard through the grapevine that my overly honest remarks about Mitch's date a few weeks ago were not well received by some of my readers with an X chromosome. That's not to say the chicks don't still dig me. Although it is now, because I just said 'dig'. I say if the Bee Gees did it, it's alright by me. Hence the purchase of my new incredibly tight white hot pants. Anyway, I seem to have drifted off on a rather unusual tangent'. Let us begin the usual proceedings.

(Richie Kenner with pads)

I have been keenly investigating the website, and more specifically the match reports of all the grades. I found it interesting that Millar decided to attach his life story onto one of his last reports and that Cubbage seems to be plagiarising a number of Higgins' quotes, nevertheless Richie Kenner for mine has been the most impressive scribe of the season thus far. I enjoy reading his work and I know I'm not the only one.

I was briefly chatting to Dan Frogan at the annual Website Review Column Party, and he revealed to me that Kenner is indeed the owner of the dirtiest pads in grade cricket. I say, what Kenner does in his own time with his cricket kit is entirely up to him. There's plenty of money for that kind of the thing on the internet. I've also noticed that every single report writer has a little tag line now at the end of each report. Millar started the trend last year with "Up Gordon", whoever writes the 3rd grade report is obviously on something as the line changes with ridiculous slogans each week but once again Richie Kenner easily takes out the best tag line with "Stay Classy Chatswood (or wherever his team has travelled to)". Very catchy. Very good.

With the first day of round 4 reaching an unprecedented 38 degrees, 1's, 3's and 5's made the journey out to the unforgivable Benson's Lane, infamous for flies and a lack of shade. Chris Lee did his best to stay cool by 'inadvertently' stealing 1st grades drinks bag which held a number of Powerade's and other cool beverages. Chris Archer, God bless him, informed me that Lee was in fact a state regional runner over 100 metres when he was younger. Unbelievable. Far be it from me to victimise Lee and his unique running technique, but as a rather portly 3rd grade captain would say' WOW!!

(Chris Lee in action)

If I was to continue to pepper Lee, and I will, I would also inform my readers that he attended a Rogue Traders concert a few weeks back with his "girlfriend". Ok. Ok. Enough about Lee, poor bloke.

It surprised me that after it being 38 degrees on the first days play it dropped dramatically to a nippy 20 the following weekend. Not to mention the howling gale sweeping from over the mountains. What unusual weather we are having'. Damn global warming. How the hell is Richtor going to build up his base tan with the inconsistency in rays? The same would apply for Tiddles, but I don't think the weather affects the use of a solarium.

A lot of strange things happened during the course of Round 4. The weather perhaps played catalyst to unusual happenings. Maybe it was a full moon.

It all started with the show-but-no-show of John Sawtell. For those who haven't heard the story I'll be gentle; as I am understandably afraid of the man with the build similar to a block of units. Mr. Sawtell drove from Sydney all the way out to Benson's Lane (about an hour away) and pulled into the car park. From there he sat in his car, a few short metres from the ground and then decided he didn't want to play today, so he drove off and back home - forgetting to tell anybody at the club.

(Big John)

I don't really know what else to say. He has definitely given a new nickname to someone who doesn't show up, or shouldn't have shown up. Apart from that I can't quite figure out the logic behind or the thinking behind the scenario.

With Ed Howitt Jr. falling ill during the week, his unavailability left an opening for the role of club coach for a training session. I would have thought someone like Hokin who actually has qualifications as a coach would have taken the reigns and led the boys. Anthony Sherman doesn't come to mind. Although it was indeed Pic who conducted the Tuesday session.

Interestingly enough he allowed himself to bat for a good 23 minutes in the nets whilst the other batsman only received a less than usual 6' minutes. It was good to see Hoppa back at training. Really, really good.

(The dazzler)

What about the Dazzler!!! It probably'.. No, no, no I'll start again. It is without a doubt the greatest line anybody could possibly use to describe anything which is wonderful. I was in a coffee shop just the other day and yes, I was a ordering an orange mocha frappuccino as all good male models like myself do, and it was so good when I was asked by the very attractive girl serving the hot beverages how my coffee was I exclaimed with a beaming grin "What about the Dazzler". As it turned out the relatively attractive girl was indeed the Dazzler's sister so she understood what I was saying but nevertheless I think you understand my point. Oh, and Dazzler also scored some runs in round 4. Same goes for Hint-Dog. And Weaves. And Hosko.

Sammy Buono will no doubt be close to the pinnacle of the fantasy league competition, what with Hinton as his captain, and now Mitch and Mike Weaver in the runs.

Watch out for a new section on the website called "Moth's Male of the Week".

Just joking.. But not really.

Get a haircut Mahaffey!

Missy

Missy's Mail 8

I'm not sure if the Grand Final was the biggest thing that was in the room at the GreenGate Hotel on Sunday night. Well, it was until Mitch decided to invite his RSVP date into a room of 30 guys. What about the beak on that bird!! Mitch's obvious child like fantasies have delved into his adult life, as he attempts to marry a woman with qualities that until Sunday night I cold have sworn only Sesame Street character Big Bird had.

(Missy chasing his RSVP date on Sunday)

Who was she to run away from the man of her dreams anyway? I'm surprised Mitch didn't catch up to her, as I'm sure she would have tilted over due to such a heavy load on one's face. Not to worry Kleemy, true love is out there somewhere in cyberspace. I'm sure of it.

It was a truly wonderful night for those who attended the function on Grand Final night. From the Gate, the Gordon contingent travelled briefly to the Crows Nest Hotel, and then battled on to the rocks. For some of us, this is where the night only began. Myself and Neil Longhurst were privy to see the fight of the century between Plummer and Ahmed at the George St. McDonalds.

Both sides copped a verbal battering. Both parties were too drunk to be coherent.

It was brilliant to see Jason Russell-Jones there at the Gate. I'm pretty sure he's only 14, but still, it was nice of him to stay for the game. JRJ had to leave early because some reckless sole spiked his beer with 4.9% alcohol.

(Jason)

The Gordon Fantasy League has been all the talk around Gordon circles of late. I for one, have enjoyed some of the names that contestants have drummed up. South American Love Bandicoots, Team Strike Force - Omega Quadrant, I Can't Believe I Picked Dylan, The Ho Train, and Nick Medcalf's XII are my favourites. Such imagination.

After drawing everyone's attention to his undervalue in the competition at $70,000, Sam Hinton fired back at his critics with a wonderful hundred at Hurstville Oval in round 1. Of course for the next week he was asking Ed Zelma everything he needed to know about driving one of Chatswood Classic Cars fine automobiles for winning player of the year. He was quickly put in his place with a second ball duck in round 2. I believe Sam Beuno has Hint-Dog as his fantasy league captain.

Hinton was hopeful of an elevation to 1st grade the next week purely on the basis he would like to be introduced to Matt Michael, a man who doesn't talk to lower graders.

My fantasy team (Missy's Mob) currently consists of about 8 players, due to Holmes, Dowsley, Smith, Richtor being unavailable. Oh, and my captain didn't play on the weekend because his pinkie was injured when he was throwing grenades. Damn Ahmed!!

Perhaps the best story of the competition thus far is that Tiddles highest ranked team stands at 53rd. He has 6 teams. And he's a selector. I knew I should be in 1st grade. Get me in there ahead of Zeddie It's an achievement of sorts to be batting the way Ed Zelma has been. 3 innings, 3 balls, 3 ducks. Perhaps Zeddie shouldn't be watching tapes of Agit Agarkar's innings in Australia on how to bat. But who am I to judge?

(Ed Zelma in action)

Nick Dowsley has been given the all clear by doctors to play in round 4 against the Hawks. I wrote previously that he was involved in a BMX incident. Apparently Missy's informants got that wrong. His dislocated shoulder (indeed, not a broken collar bone) was caused via billy-cart'..

Billy-Cart'.. Billy-Cart.

"Hey Nick, what happened to your shoulder?"

"Billy-Cart."

The last time anybody rode a billy-cart was when Huckleberry Finn was causing havoc in the 1880's. When Dows told me of the incident first hand, the first question I asked was how inebriated he was. He tells me he hadn't had one drink. I'm not sure if that's all together a good thing though. I mean, if he was drunk then sure I can understand the pleasure of riding that form of transportation. But when your sober? Why not catch a bus?

(The moth)

I would like to be the first to congratulate Tim Packman on his impending engagement. "The Moth" as he is affectionately known hasn't been seen for some time now which leads me to the conclusion that his dream of eloping has come to pass. Perhaps a baby moth is on the way. Maybe that's being too forward. If it is, only he will be able to tell me. Of course seeing that he is starting to settle down in his little moth nest and rarely shows his face in public without his beloved by his side, that may never happen.

(The moth)

It was tremendous to see Dean Goldsmith at Sydney Uni on Saturday. Goldy, a stalwart of Gordon Cricket, has retired from the game this year. He looked to be very healthy and has just returned from a month in France. Mark Wiese also returned for this round in 5th grade. Wiesey married the lovely Jessica last year and is currently doing a PHD, leaving not enough time for full-time cricketing commitments, but it was great to have him on board this week.

I've heard from my spies around Sydney, and generally the world, that "The Judge" Adair Durie will be making a return to Chatswood Oval. Adair played 1st grade for Gordon before dropping down to 3's where he was a vital cog in the 3rd grade premiership, a side Will Smith played in last time he was here, now in 1st grade. Not THE Will Smith for overseas readers. I'm pretty confident of that anyway.

(Adair Durie from the archives)

"Insert short funny sentence here"

Missy

Missy's Mail 7

If you play international cricket, you want to play at Lords. If you play Australian state cricket, you want to play at the MCG. If you play for Gordon you want to be at Chatswood Oval. It was great to be back at the home of Gordon Cricket for pre-season training. I understand that they have replaced what once was a day care centre with a bar underneath the main grandstand. A strange swap, and I'm not sure who saw that potential, but I think it's brilliant. Finally Gordon cricketers have a place to drink and socialise.

Chatswood Oval itself appears to have held up well over the rugby season, comparatively to that of previous years. I suppose it helps that the Gordon rugby players haven't made a tackle on the surface all year, but nevertheless the turf is far less patchy than I can recall. It makes it noticeably easier to perform simple fielding drills when the ball doesn't leap up and attack your perfectly sculpted face.

An impressive number turned out for the first session back at Chatswood, I even saw Best In Club (Robbie Evans) took time out from his hectic schedule of bicep curls and bench-press to make an appearance. As always, a few new faces have shown their hand and it would seem that they could be useful acquisitions for the club.

(Best In Club meets with Missy)

Unfortunately, living in Australia has it's detracting features as well as it's many, many benefits. English recruit Neil Longhurst has found this very quickly, as he enjoys the warmth and the sunshine, but has been thrown in the deep end via being sent to live at the Plummer household. He can either be thankful that thorns have roses, or be remorseful that roses have thorns. Australia is a rose, Plum is a thorn.

The players who have had an tenure overseas are slowly returning home now.

Club Captain Brendan MacDonald is the first to do so. His familiar strut, swank, saunter, stretch and stride was welcomed back to the SCG on Saturday afternoon for a make-up training session. I caught up with B-Mac at the newly renovated GreenGate to discuss ideas for social functions during the season, and to drink beer. I can't give away too much, but I feel confident that the new leadership pairing of MacDonald and Higgins may lead to something so beautiful, words escape me.

(BMac is back)

John O'Neill-Fuller will be returning home from the UK on Saturday. I'll probably be able to write an article just on Pumps, Missy's Mail - The X-Files. Anyone interested in the activities of JOF can read the next MM, or you can simply read the police report available at all good Cop Shops.

Returning Stag Will Smith has struck 141 against Middlesex and added 288 with Stephen Fleming for the 3rd wicket. Hitting his straps at a very beneficial time for Gordon. I have also learnt that he will be residing with The "Tim Packman" Moth during the Australian summer. Will is fortunate that Gordon's Personal Trainer has recently re-found love, and is not the wild, swinging ladies man of old. Or perhaps he is unfortunate not to be involved in such debauchery.

Speaking of love, the gentle and erotic whispers of RSVP.com.au have all ready begun to circulate as Pic tries to emulate his hero, Damon Livermore, in putting at least 90% of internet instigated dates through the covers. It will be like charting Ricky Ponting's chase to surpass Viv Richards record breaking year with the bat. Except it's Pic instead of Ponting, and women not runs.

(Pic preparing to go onto RSVP)

Love has begun to stream through the club as if it were a resplendent river flowing with no bounds to the hearts and minds of Stags everywhere. Richie Brown, "The Hornet" to many of our readers, has found companionship of the greatest kind in the inner city angst of Australia's mafia home, Melbourne.

His bucks night was attended by a number of Gordon's socialites, including Mitchell Kleem. Mitch's arrival to the soiree was surprising to say the least but seeing the live entertainment didn't show, Mitch was forced to bare all in what was a truly thrilling event for those involved/responsible.

None of this happened, but I would love to see it. It would be like a drug for the eyes.

Nick Dowsley will not be starting the season, as he has broken his collar bone. "Digger" has very little history of reckless events (a strong liberal supporter) but for some reason suddenly felt the urge to emulate his lifelong hero Evel Knievl, and jump the snake river canyon on his BMX . Now, as I understand it Mr. Dowsley went to Sydney Grammar and achieved something like 99.852345 in his HSC, currently works for the very respectable Macquarie bank, and I would have thought past the stage of riding a bike.

(Nick Dowsley pre shoulder)

Such an act appears out of character. ND now joins the illustrious BMX team of Gordon representatives including Plummer, who a couple of years ago rode his recently "purchased" hog off a pier.

I had heard initially that he was to be out for 3 months. That must be a complete fallacy, as it would have to be the worst break in a collar bone in the history of breaking collar bones, for Nick to be out of action for 3 months. But he will be in a sling for a couple of weeks.

The Gordon District Cricket Clubs inaugural fantasy league competition is soon to be up and running. I was privy to receive one of the first information packages (sheet of paper with staple) on Tuesday night. The initiative comes from Dylan Connel and his associate Ed Howitt Jr. I can't believe these two have created an initiative. I'm sure more will be posted about this exciting new competition, and I'll be getting right behind it, but I really think Dylan and Hoppa need to get out more. Somewhere. Northern Districts maybe.

Good luck to Will Sweeney this weekend playing in his second consecutive Suburban Rugby 1st division Grand Final at T.G. Milner on Saturday. He will be representing Knox Old Boys, renowned for their drinking and ridiculous partying, and they will play the undefeated Drummoyne. Win or lose his Saturday night will be wild. It should be interesting how many overs he bowls against Canberra on Sunday. I'm gonna go with 2.3.'. in 3 spells.

Forever Loyal

Missy

Missy's Mail 6

I'm in Darrel Hair's corner on this one. What Pakistan did by refusing to resume the days play and hide in the dressing rooms was nothing short of childish. Yet I've heard nothing in the media other than how Darrel Hair is victimising nations from the sub-continent. Why? Because it sells more papers. Surely I can't be the only one who thinks this. I know Mr. Hair is a big fan of Missy's Mail, so I'd like to send him my best wishes for the upcoming hearing. Heaven forbid if he was ever to umpire a match whilst Iqbal Ahmed was bowling though, or for that matter if Dean Jones was ever to commentate a Gordon lower grade fixture.

I met up with Will Sweeney at the holy GreenGate Hotel to catch Club 58 (Brett Lee "and friends"). To say that Brett Lee did nothing would be unfair, as I'm sure it's incredibly hard to play the same 4 notes on bass guitar for every song of the night. Undoubtedly the highlight of Brett's night was the sculling of a rum and coke. It was great to see Australian cricket getting back to its grass roots.

I could have easily made the papers the next morning had I made a move on Brett Lee, and then claimed that he was drunk and I was assaulted. But I don't have time for that, and he may have killed me whilst striking a nervous E minor.

Zig and Zag, Beavis and Butthead, Cheech and Chong, Batman and Robin. These are just a few of the names used to describe the new leadership combination at the club. I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Brendan McDonald on his appointment as Club Captain for season 06/07. He joins an illustrious list of great club men who have led successful campaigns for the famous club. I would also like to this opportunity to congratulate myself on the appointment as Club Vice-Captain. Well done Higgo, we here at Missy's Mail are all behind you.

Damon Livermore has been on fire on the field of late. He scored 108, took 6-37, and then hit 68 and snared three catches in the space of 7 days. I'm always interested to see what Reg is doing, and what its name is, when he sends me an email. In the past you may remember the interest that Reggie had in a 55 year old. Well that demographic has dropped 37 years. I do not wish to elaborate from here. Get a calculator, then laugh. Reg also sent his best wishes to returning Stag Will Smith.

'Rocket' Rod Hokin has been back in touch recently and the news is good. Rocket has struck back to back hundreds and his team currently sits in 3rd with 3 games to play. His first century included a 6 off the last ball of the match to win the game. Firstly, thanks Rocket for elaborating on that story, I'm sure it would have been a real bore, and secondly the bowling must be Rocket-Like for Hokin to strike a maximum over what must have been a field the size of a large bath-tub. Rocket's form has no doubt put him in great spirits as he travels around the country, frothy chop in hand. It will be great to see one of the clubs hardest workers back for round 1.

With today being 1 month out from round 1, the last few weeks have seen the Stags get into some heavy preparation at Narrabeen Sports Academy. Tim "The Moth" Packman has been whipping us all into shape, and it was great to see some familiar faces down at the nets. Whilst the sessions have been productive in blowing out many, many cobwebs, the sessions at Chatswood is where it all begins. I can't wait to get back down at Chatswood oval. The familiar sight of Michael Falk erecting the nets with Ed Howitt and a few busy workers, the vision of Mitch trotting after his ball which ended up somewhere near the Mandarin Centre, the smell of Pumps' cigarettes wafting through the sea of cricket kits. Yep, Chatswood is where it's at. Whatever "it" exactly is. I can understand why so many mislead youths hang out there.

Reece Bombas has been keenly seeking me out wanting to know if a final result has come in from the "Name Reece Bombas Competition". I think either 'Poppa' 'Nads' or 'Lance Armstrong' are the three most popular candidates. A few names are returning to Chatswood this season, some have already come to training, others will attend soon. Dave Storey, after considering hanging up the boots for a season, has informed me he will be playing a handful of fixtures whenever possible. This news will be well received by anyone who has played with Stores in the past.

Richie Paul will not be re-joining the ranks this year after a short stint on the side lines last season. He will however, be lending his guidance and careful hand for Friday night training camps, presumably to be held at Sydney's prestigious Cargo Bar in Cockle Bay. Richie gave birth to what is now more commonly known as 'Cargo Bar Syndrome' (or CBS for those closer to the source).

Kieran Jones, a man who helped me through my adolescent cricketing days in the Green Shield Competition as a life coach, mentor, father-figure, and source for underage drinking, has also been spotted rolling the arm over. The club is oozing with talent at the moment and have a plethora of experience to boot - a situation the club has not been in for a lengthy stage.

Missy's Mail 7 will be posted after the first Chatswood session as there is little news to report on at this quite stage before the fun all begins. So stay tuned. Until then, it was good to catch up and I'll speak to you soon.

A final thought;

I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

Missy

Missy's Mail - The Nicholson Edition

What a difference a few days can make in the mindset of a cricketer. I received an email from Matthew Nicholson in relation to the upcoming Missy's Mail 6 (stay tuned) which described his latest happenings on and off the field. Here's what he had to say:

Higgo

Literally no news for me on the field. I can't remember the last wicket I got but have been getting a few runs lately. We should save the groundsman the trouble of preparing a wicket and just put the stumps up in the car park, it's probably bigger, the outfield would definitely be slower and there might be something resembling life in the tarmac. Our last two championship games have seen scores of 5 for 660 and 5 - 674, we rolled the Essex boys the other day for 620.

I received that email on Monday. 5 days later and I hear that fortunes had changed slightly for Nicho.

Northamptonshire v. Gloucestershire

Toss won by Northants. Chris Rodgers, from Western Australia, was the only batsman cashing in on what must have been a respectable batting pitch notching up 319 in Northants total of All Out 628

The second innings of the match, Gloucestershire's first, saw Nicho come into his own claiming 7-62, claiming international scalp Hamish Marshall for 1. It doesn't really matter that he's a Kiwi, an international scalp is just that. An international scalp. Even more impressively Nicho dismissed 5 of the first 6 batsmen. On a deck that your team scored 600+ that's a fair achievement. Nicholson's 7 wickets helped dismiss Gloucestershire for 350, a lead of 328 at the close of the first innings. Gloucestershire's second dig has started somewhat better with the first wicket going down at 229, to Nicho, and the second wicket soon after at 244, to Nicho (making it 9 for the match).

If one was too take into consideration the nature of these pitches they are playing on, the fact that our fearless 1st Grade Captain has even managed 2 wickets is worthy of recognition. On top of the flat dry decks, the unbearable and searing heat, an obvious factor in the pitches, can't make bowling much fun. I hope Nicho makes the 1st grade team this year. He's good.

Missy

Missy's Mail 5

It's close. The season beckons. We can begin to feel our fingers and toes once more. It must mean it's getting above minus 4 again. I for one look forward to the baking hot Saturdays where any celebrity chef can slightly brown 11 fielders, rotate 2 batsmen and grill the umpires. Most of all, the furious tempest will leave us for 6 more months, and that means I won't have to wipe the hair from my eyes every 4.3 seconds.

(B-Mac and Midnight watch the cricket on their day off from work!)

It's been so long since we spoke. I hope all is well at your end of the monitor. News has trickled through slower than a wet week and subsequently I have been MIA for the last few weeks. South Africa may have even taken a wicket since Missy's Mail 4.

Brendan McDonald has found himself in the thick of things once again. It would be silly of any reader to assume that I am referring to a particular feat on the cricket field. Rather B-Macs best work has come, once again, whilst being naked. Threadbare. Au naturel. Unveiled. Exposed. Use whatever adjective you like, the story is a classic. Unfortunately, B-Mac was supposed to send me a picture in reference to the story which has yet to see the light of day so I've decided to bench the story until I can give it the full coverage it deserves. Pardon the Pun.

But it was by far the "Email of the Week", and perhaps a strong contender for "Email of the Off-Season". (Which is a title I made up 10 minutes ago).

Still I'd say a close second to Reggies efforts which were publicised in Missy's Mail 4. Hopefully I can expand on the escapades of Brendan in the 6th instalment of this review.

James Packman has returned to the country after playing cricket in Scotland over the past month. His form impressed. With bat, and unfortunately ball. A Michelle 5/ will have Packers piping up for a crack with the new ball at some stage in the Sydney Grade Competition and hopefully for NSW. He had scored 2 hundreds last time I had spoken to him, one of those being played on the Glen Eagles Ryder Cup Course. A day he has described as brilliant, only to be ruined by some horrific golf.

(Hinton and Packman)

Twenty20. What a great game. Is it obvious I'm not a bowler? Matthew Nicholson seems to dislike the concept of the crowd pleasing and eye catching game. If I was writing for a tabloid, and sometimes I like to think I am, I'd say; "he has labelled the game a joke." But I'm not so, I'll have those remarks stricken from the record. Nicho took on returning Stag Will Smith in the Quater-Final of the Twenty20 Competition where Smith's Nottinghamshire knocked over Nicho's Northamptonshire. Neither having an input in the game however. Will Smith remaining 0* off 0 deliveries and Nicho claiming 1/.

Damon Livermore has been far more reserved this time around. Scores on the field include 70, 50 not out, and 92. I can't say what else he's doing. I'll give you a clue. The 4th box of tissues has been 'discharged'.

Matt Makepeace has struck a run of form on the field (I doubt off it) scoring a remarkable 100 even, chasing down 249 for victory. He smashed 71 off 45 before being hit with a beam ball. He claims it was a beamer, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a good shot for LBW after contact was made with his ribs. He completed his 100 with a few balls to spare. Shortly after he followed up his hundred with 57 in a low scoring encounter. Good to hear Peace is hitting his straps again.

Now for the news you've all been waiting for. The news back home. Where to begin'..Tiddles.

Although I was an absentee from the AGM, word has spread like wildfire about the "Speech" if one cold call it that, that the esteemed Tony Wilson made.

It was a shame I wasn't there for the last time Tiddles will ever be asked to speak at a public event. Anywhere. It's beyond me what exactly the Hugh Heffner endorsed drug has to do with bat and ball'. Well maybe I can now, but still viagra is hardly a topic that was on the agenda for Gordon's 101st Annual General Meeting.

(Tiddles)

Although I wasn't at Gordon's AGM I was at the Blue Gum for our rivals and neighbours Northern Districts AGM. Both Iqbal Ahmed and myself spotted ex-international cricketer and current air conditioning spokesperson Mark Taylor, and we were both inebriated and brazen enough to question if the air conditioning was a "Fujitsu" console over the main bar.

Perhaps I'll go to the GreenGate to catch Brett Lee's band, and cry out some banter. Hoppa suggested that I go and sidle up next to his wife whilst he jams with his fellow band cohorts. Brett Lee's band just became a little more appealing.

Gordon's favourite commercial extra, Leon Gulaptis, has apparently found love abroad. News has it that Gullapa has a new love interest in the United States. I remember a time when I was with Leon at Cabana Bar and was with him whilst he attempted to pick up girls with an American accent. It probably wasn't the worst accent I've ever heard, mainly because it was about as coherent as any one of Mitchell Kleem's social commentaries.

(Leon gives the thumbs up for his new love)

Speaking of travel Missy's Mail has also learnt that Gordon's very own lepricorn, Richie Kenner, is planning to travel around the country to see every test match of the upcoming Ashes series. Richie was a vital cog in the Colts winning season, including a hundred in the final of the Metropolitan cup.

Training has already begun for the younger Stags at the club. The Academy's Under 18 and Under 21 divisions have so far had 2 pre-pre-season training sessions with pleasing results. It was marvellous to see some old heads there; Stepho, Tiddles, Falky, Smithy. Stobo was also there. Speaking of which, the topic was brought up at the GreenGate about who will take over the reigns as my opposite number, now that Stobo is retired until hmmmm'.

I'd say round 8. Matthew Kelly is the obvious choice, what with his quick quips and razor sharp intellect that could raise a laugh even from the most hardened of criminals in a court of law. But Kells has been good to Higgins, and too much respect and the fear of being publicly humiliated lies there.

Sammy Hinton's name was mentioned. A strong candidate. Time will tell.

So much news to give. If only I wrote half of it down. I'll have to have a good catch up with you all this Sunday after the first of four pre-season practices. Hoppa and I have already arranged to head to the GreenGate after the 4 O'clock finish. It would be brilliant to see a large Gordon contingent there for a catch up.

Lastly I come to Reece Bombas. Reece, "Bomber" as he is CURRENTLY known, requires a new nickname. He shall break free of the shackles of his current alias, and we as a club will rise up and vote for a new pet name for Bombas.

(Nads Bombas)

A couple of years ago Bomber was fielding at slip next to the recently retired Dean Goldsmith. When Goldy threw the ball to the surprised Bombas, the collision between the cricket ball and his testicle was of a colossal nature. A clash of epic proportions. Two years on and Reece has had the fluid removed from the site of the injury. Suddenly the Spice Girls 1997 hit single "2 become 1" became an anthem and a way of life rather than a crap 90's song, and the Jennifer Anniston/Vince Vaughn flick "The Break Up" became autobiographical.

So, under the instruction of many senior heads at the GDCC the new name will be voted on via secret ballot. So secret that there isn't even a ballot. But tell me what your thoughts are on these:

A: Poppa (Poppa-Testie)

B: The One

C: The Siamese Twin

D: Reece Bombas

E: Twinkie

F: Niagara Balls

G: Room Available

H: Vacancy

I: One Left Standing

J: Single and Loving It

K: The Lone Nut

Sorry Bomber.

Missy

Missy's Mail No. 4

Soccer, football to our international readers, has once again shown it's true colours. The immense disappointment that we all felt at about 4am on Monday morning was overwhelming. Some found it necessary to cry, others remembered that about a month ago no-one knew who Lucas Neil was. I recovered from the loss the next day by watching a couple of great flicks, namely 'The Italian Job' and 'Legends of The Fall', somehow they became ironically relevant. I was part of a strong and vocal crowd at St. Leonards'

Cabana Bar. Unsurprisingly I ran into a number of youthful Stags. Jimmy Hosking, Sammy Hinton, Dan Richtor, and most enjoyably Andrew Plummer.

That's right'. Plummer. What an experience it was to see that man again. I watched the second 45 minutes of the debacle next to the Plum and after it was over he decided to show his disgust by hurling his recently vacated schooner glass at the screen. The screen being above the exit made things interesting for the crowd leaving, as they ran through a glass gauntlet.

That's the kind of guy Plum is, if he likes you he's your best mate'if not he'll throw a schooner glass at you.

Enough now of that silly round-ball game. We can all get some sleep now, unless you're watching Wimbledon. On to cricket.

Mathew Nicholson seems to be on a hot run of form, scoring a hundred last publication and now snaring 9 poles for his county. The Twenty/20 competition has commenced and will no doubt give Nicho a chance to show off all aspects of his game. The embarkation of the 20/20 gives our fearless 1st grade captain about 3 weeks for some long overdue R&R. He intends to spend this time golfing and sleeping. Just a few of our favourite "ings" here at the GDCC.

A new electronic mail from one of many Gordon's socialites, Damon Livermore, gave insight to the mind of a single man. On the field rain has delayed the run of form that Reggie has had of late, only adding 30 and a couple of poles to the seasons aggregates. Whilst off the field, a couple of delightful stories which made most interesting reading. I feel I won't be able to do justice to this first story, so I will just about copy and paste from my overflowing hotmail.

(Reggies excavator)

Reggie will narrate:

After a few beers on Saturday night, i was walking home to my captains house from the local and only night club. On my journey - i stumbled across a 4 tonne excavator parked on the side of the road. Funnily enough the door was unlocked and the keys were under the seat. So i jumped into the saddle ( i have over 40hrs experience on the machines) started her up, switched off the safety, turned up the throttle and displayed my skills as an operator to a few of the local lads ( all about 18yrs old ... so easily impressed) after a few tricks - i thought it was a good idea to block the road with the machine and make a clean get away. So i extended the boom across the road and there was no way a car could get through. After stopping off at a kebab shop with my new found mates, my rubber arm was twisted - to give the keys to the boys so they could enjoy life as an operator of a 4 tonne excavator.

As i was munching on my badly packed kebab - the boys were well into a bit of excavation...... until the police arrived. Nabbed one of the boys....

Damo (Reggie) was already in full flight in the opposite direction.

And there you have it. The first, second, and third time I read this I was in complete fits of laughter. Then I thought to myself, surely Reg was doing this when he was 18 himself. Now 30, Livermore should know better than to get a kebab on the way home from the local.

Reggies second story involves him flirting with an unidentified "tidy" female. Reg is staying in very much a one horse town, and without much "talent" around he found himself instantly aroused at the site of a 30-something blonde outside his local supermarket climbing out of a red MG convertible. After unsuccessfully handing out his RSVP identification, he read the social pages two days later only to spot the very same "tidy" female inside. It was Kate Moss. Only Damon Livermore. Maybe Pumps.

(What a lovely couple)

Not to be outdone Current Club Captain John O'Neill-Fuller has also found himself in recent times to have a bit of celebrity about him. Following an outing at the Arena Magazine Awards (don't bother asking me, or for that matter pumps, how he got in) Pumps was splashed all over the social pages.

Well when I say splashed, he was really in the background of a photo. Still, I've never been in the social pages and I've got to be at least 3 maybe 4 times better looking than John O'Neill-Fuller. Right?' Right? JOF said, and I quote, "Apparently there were lots of famous people there, but I had no idea who they were". I don't think Pumps realised the famous people weren't behind the bar.

(JOF with "friends")

With the Soccer World Cup reaching unprecedented heights in Australia some of our Stags, JOF included, have been loving every moment in the UK. The Walkabout is/was Pumps' favourite institution to attend for the Aussie fixtures, and learnt some rules very quickly. Number 1 being never to wear clothes that you ever want to wear again, because upon a goal being scored it became tradition to throw whatever drink you had in the air.

On the pitch, JOF has had a run of scores in good wins for his club. 117 in the Sunday League in a 12 run victory, 60 in a 120 run win, 36 in a losing draw, and 78 in a tight 10 run win. When pumps took on Enfield, Ed Howitt Jr.'s former club, JOF was treated to some colourful language and informed sledging thanks to a plethora of information given by Hoppa.

Now for on a different field/off field news. Ben Garratt, a legendary Stag in his own right, has been playing Reserve Grade for the Avoca Sharks in the Central Coast Premier League. BG seems to be quite a hit at his club, even having his own article posted on the Avoca Sharks website (www.avocafc.com) called "The Reserve Grade Rant". One can view BG's quick wit by entering the Shark Speak icon and having a scout round the forums. BG doesn't know it yet, but he now owes me for eternity for giving him a "free" plug during my column.

(Ben Garratt)

I was fortunate enough to have a beer with the peoples champion, Iqbal Ahmed, for some Wednesday night trivia at the Blue Gum. All is well in the Ahmed-land (more commonly known as Saudi-Arabia) as he continues to play in the winter cricket league with Hoppa, Bretty, Cuppy, to name a few and a couple of West Pymble representatives.

I could not end this column without saying hello to a very dear friend of Missy's Mail. Meg. Meg is a big fan of Missy, and Missy is a big fan of Meg.

Thank-you dearly for your love mail, and scented underwear in which you sent via air-post. Of course none of this really happened, but my ego would like to think that I have fans from all over the planet.

Unfortunately Missy's Mail IV must end on a sad and tragic note, on two counts. Firstly, I ran into Las Kannangara outside Turramurra station only to receive news that he has badly injured his knee playing soccer. He will be out of action for up to 10 months. This is a sad blow for all club men who will no doubt know Gordon's pocket size Sri Lankan. We wish him a speedy recovery.

(Las in action)

Finally, I came across Brendan McDonald at the Commodore on Thursday night.

I had to double take because I could have sworn he left for England a number of months ago. Unfortunately Bmacs return was due to tragic circumstances.

Nathan Moss, Mossy to his mates, was seriously injured when he was struck by a car jogging across the road. Macca was onboard the next flight just 6 hours after receiving the phone call. Nathan passed away in hospital last Wednesday. Brendan was grateful though to have spent the last week of his best mates life beside him at the hospital. On behalf of Gordon Cricket we send our deepest condolences to the Moss family, and to his group of mates who I'm sure will never forget their friend.

A terrible, terrible way to end an article, but it's an eye-opener to how precious life is. To dust off an old clich' Enjoy every day like it was your last.

Missy

Missy's Mail No. 3

Missy's Mail No. III

Pule Misa.

This name won't mean a lot to many, if any of our readers. However, it is he who is responsible for the death of our dearly beloved William Sweeney. May he rest in peace. Pule Misa played for the Samoan Rugby team in the 1999 World Cup. 7 years later and he is now running around for the Drummoyne Rugby Union team in the NSW suburban rugby competition. 7 years ago William Sweeney was running around for the under 13 division at schoolboy level.

(Pule in action)

Suffice to say that when the two met in a round 7 clash a couple of Saturdays ago the ex-international ran circles around our mate Shweens.

Well, not really circles, it was more of a straight line up and down and over the Knox Old Boy Outside Centre. In cricketing terms it would be like watching Craig McDermott bowl to my 9 year old, slightly retarded next door neighbour. I'm glad it was him rather than me. However, Shweens did make a full recovery to score 3 tries against Woolhara Colleagues the following week.

The ever reliable Matthew Nicholson has, once again, been first to respond to my regular (and probably slightly annoying) group of emails. This website has already publicised his recent success with the bat, but he says the wickets have been slow with little assistance to the pace bowlers, so he felt his best contribution to the team would be with the blade. Cricket evidently takes up most of the time Nicho has, in fact 11 of the past 12 days he's spent on the field, leaving little time for him to socialise the way I'm sure the likes of Reg and Pumps are. I suppose it also helps that he's married. This may help him to steer clear from the likes of O'Neill-Fuller. Bad Man.

Lance Klusner has been the star for Northants this season, and Nicho is trying his very best to tempt him down old Chatswood way in 2011 when he hangs up his 14 pound bat. I'd like to think he'd fit in well wearing that famous old Stag over his heart. Imagine Kenner or Klemmy bowling to the big hitting left hander. Or having a beer with the established all rounder after training. Of course, this would never occur because once he found out that Hoppa had a better "wrench shot" than him, his jealously would force him to leave the club, the state and eventually the country.

Matty Makepeace has struggled to get on the pitch of late with constant precipitation. This of course means that copious quantities of alcohol have been consumed. Unfortunately he was quoted as saying "Let's just say I took Tiddles advice and put it into practice last week." I don't want to know what that means, and I choose to ignore that it was ever said. When 'Big-Peace' has had the chance to play he has had some recent success and hit 107 not out to set a total of 289. The opposing side was dismissed for 179.

(Matt Makepeace in action)

Rod Hokin, 'Rocket' to his friends, appears to be having a sterling season and his form continues to impress. Rocket scored 60 in a 20/20 fixture last Wednesday, then scored 92 on Saturday chasing down a total of 238 to win.

Rocket hadn't finished there though and score 104 on Sunday in the Devon Cup against a Premier Division side.

Apart from these three generous players, there is no other news to report from overseas. Perhaps if the rest of them were not as lazy and would reply to me once in a while I could write a proper article about things people care about. Such is life. Now for off field news.

Surprisingly enough JOF won't feature in this edition of off-field news.

Some will be pleased, others will cry.

On the 23rd of May, this year, I sat down in my favourite arm chair to read my favourite local paper, The North Shore Times. I was pleased to read an article about the potential of young West Australian spinner Beau Cassen joining the Gordon ranks in the next season. Apparently Gordon has appeared as the front runner to sign the up-and-comer. Perhaps more of this story will come to hand as the 2006-2007 approaches.

(The classic action of Stobs)

Perhaps the best news so far is the on again-off again retirement of nemesis Richard Stobo, or Richard Stobo to his friends, is once again on. A whisper from a little birdie who remains to be unnamed informed me of his retirement. An email to Tiddles, both confirmed and denied his retirement. I for one hope Stobo does not retire. If he is not at the club, who will I ridicule. As easy as that question appears to be to answer, it wouldn't be the same. Although Stobo has achieved many things in his long, long, long, long career perhaps his drive to win a higher, lower grade premiership will spur him on for 6 more months of Higgins' abuse.

Thursday, June 8 saw Higgins turn from an adolescent male to an adolescent.

To be more specific from 19 to 20. That's right Higgins has finally become slightly less female. The event was celebrated prodigiously at the GreenGate, the Commodore and of course Alberts Corner bar. On this evening I was fortunate to run into Sam Hinton. 6 hours earlier I received a phone call from Tiddles who informed me of a new love interest in Slammin' Sammy's life. The two met somewhere in Kings Cross, and consummated the mutual love and respect for each other in one of the cross' many five star alley ways.

Or so the story goes. Hint-Dog was far from quick to quash the rumours.

(Why is Sam smiling?)

As long as we're talking about love and other romantic things, I am pleased to be the bearer of good news. Anthony Eddington will be tying the knot with the lovely Nina on April 20 next year. Followers of Gordon Cricket and players both past and present will remember Edo for playing in the 4th grade premiership winning side in the 2004/05 season. Those who were a little closer to Edo will know that he could never keep a secret, no mater how degrading to himself.

A genuinely good bloke and we wish him all the best for his upcoming season in Scotland in the Premier League.

(Edo or the Twann at Chatswood last season)

Jules Stephenson is on the mend after an elbow operation last Friday. The tendonitis in his elbow turned out to be a bone spur with cartilage damage. The surgeon hopes he will be able to bowl without pain by the end of August.

What kind of green and gold blooded Australian would I be if I didn't mention the Soccer World Cup. Something that infuriates me on a regular basis is when people call soccer, football. Anyway, nitpicking aside, what a magnificent match it was on Monday night against the Japanese. I was lucky enough to reserve Gold Class seats at the GreenGate for the 11 o'clock kick off.

For 83 long minutes it appeared as though the Aussies would go home dejected and somewhat angry over a controversial Japan goal. I have witnessed many, many great Australian sporting victories, however never have I received such goose bumps when the first, second and third goal struck the back of the net. Even after seeing each goal 27 times.

After my infinite schooner of VB and after the 9th rendition of "Ole', Ole', Ole'" I wandered on home. What a wonderful night, one that I won't forget for a while yet. Perhaps it will become one of those "Where were you questions". Maybe not. If Australia beats Brazil I'll shave my head.

"Bring on Brazil" I can hear you bastards say.

Missy

Missy's Mail No.2

Good morning, afternoon, or evening to everyone all over the globe. I thank everyone for their emails. I have been inundated with messages of love everywhere from Northern Ireland to North Sydney. The good news is I have news to report on this time. Happy days.

B-Mac-BM?

First of all we travel to the UK, Didsbury to be more specific where Brendan MacDonald currently flaunts, taunts and occasionally plays cricket. Round 3 in the local competition saw B-Mac achieve his greatest feat yet' a four car pile up. It would appear he was driving to a fixture in his newly paid BMW automobile and found it necessary to be the centre of attention. And what better way to achieve such a thing than a prang. Word on the web is he had recently paid his road tax, insurance, and a full tank of petrol (no doubt the most costly of them all). He was rescued, probably by a SWAT team, and in time for the game where he subsequently did nothing. The original car he was driving, evidently poorly, was an 11 year old Beamer which he paid for with his "hard earned." I use this term very loosely. He is currently swanning around in a brand new BMW via his insurance company. Fewer things in life are more unjust.

We stay in the UK and travel to Lechdale, in the Cotswolds Districts.

(Reggie)

Population 3000. One of whom is our beloved Damon Livermore. "Reggie" will be over there for 6 months and that will probably give him enough time to'.

Become acquainted with all members of the town. Reg is currently residing in 'Lechdale Manor' an 18th century mansion. 30 rooms, 20 acres. His "roomy" is Roy Burton who previously occupied the goalkeeping position for then Premiership club Oxford United in the 80's and 90s. Apparently Reg is living in the area where the "Wind In The Willows" is set.

Reg is playing for Lechdale Cricket Club in the Wiltshire League, 1st division.

He has played 2 games, won both. The club play 45 over one day cricket with bowling and fielding restrictions 1st game: 6 - 254 ( Reggie 136 not out) Opposition: 7 - 154 2nd game: 5 - 338 ( Reggie 183 not out) Opposition 245: ( Reggie 2 - 17 from 5)

Perhaps the fact that Reg has less female distractions is assisting his cricket. In particular his bowling. In regards to his off field behaviour, well I can't reveal such information. He does go onto to say something about using a lot of tissues though. Whatever that means. Maybe he's sick.

On a similar note John O'Neill-Fuller, JOF to his mates, or Pumps to his lovers is enjoying life to the fullest on his overseas trip. Pumps is staying in Notting Hill with his captain. His cricket as he puts it didn't fare so well in his first outing. Jetlag took over in his first match after taking 2-25, then scoring 1. The second fixture saw JOF score 55 not out before rain conveniently interrupted his run to an unbeaten 640. After the game he met a "little Danish bird" (his words, not mine) and from there I really can't extend on this particular story. I'm not really in the mood to being an accessory, nor do I wish to be cross-examined.

(JOF)

The next couple of days he spent working. He has a job with Middlesex County Cricket Board running coaching courses etc. He spent a training day at Lords, the cricket ground I presume and not the church, which he describes as "quality". He also spent a day watching the test match there (England v Sri Lanka). Another story has apparently come of that day. And the same applies to my unwillingness not to appear in a court of justice.

Rod Hokin has also been in contact. He has scored another 71 runs, after adding to his ton the week before. As well as runs Rocket has picked up a few cheeky poles in the process. Rocky has been touring Europe which involves drinking in 10 different countries apparently.

Matthew Nicholson is playing some good cricket, although I'll have to take his word for it, I don't actually have any numbers. Not much time for Nicho to enjoy the lifestyles that perhaps a few others might. Playing, travelling and training takes up most of the time. He says the blokes from Northamptonshire are a good group of guys and is enjoying the county scene thus far. B-Mac is coming up to see Nicho and the two Stags are going to have a round of golf at some stage.

Matt Makepeace has started a little bit of trouble it would seem in Skeg Vegas. 1 girl wants marriage, another to move in with him and 2 stalkers. In terms of cricket he has scored 12, 43, and 85 and his team is on top of the table with a maximum of 60 points.

The peace

That's all the news thus far from the UK.

Now back home to Sydney.

I received an email from the esteemed Richie Paul entitled "Where have you been all my life". Such a lovable man is Richie. He sent me two photos, both of him and his antics of ANZAC day. Whilst miners Todd, and Russel where trapped in Tasmania, not the mine, Tasmania, RP started the day with Yum Cha in Chinatown at 10am for a few beers then finished up in Surrey Hills for some two up, which judging by the photo, he won a poor mans fortune.

(Richie Paul)

Whilst at the Green Gate on Saturday night I was fortunate enough to run into Slammin' Sammy Hinton. Hint-Dog was getting into the spirit of the upcoming Soccer World Cup by wearing some less than flattering "Kappa"

clothing. Jimmy Hosking was also present. Such a gorgeous man is Hosking.

Every time I look into his eyes, it's like receiving a warm hug. Ahhhhhhh'..

Thank you to everyone who sent me emails from the previous, and original 'Missy's Mail'. If anyone from the Gordon community wants to let me know what they are up to in the off season, or the greater world if they want to give some dirt on a player overseas then please, feel free to drop me a line at higgins_i@hotmail.com

As for myself, I received a nasty bout of alcohol poisoning last weekend after a day that started watching rugby at St. Ives and a night that ended at Alberts at 3:30.

On that note I'll sign off.

Higgo

Missy's Mail No.1

Missy's Mail

The 2005/06 season had many highlights, however one that wasn't documented was the arrival of a new report writer in Ian Higgins. Ian's early attempts to ruffle the feathers of stalwart Richard Stobo were well reveived by Gordon supporters. Ian's reports became legendary with his quick wit and sometimes direct statements that rarely missed the mark (except for one report on the condition of the Chatswood Oval pitch).

With a long off season ahead of us, we needed s spark to keep us going during our break and Ian has kindly agreed to write a regular column on the wherebaouts and activities of Gordon players both overseas and at home.

The column is called Missy's mail and Ian's first release is below.

Missy's Mail No.1

Hello my dearly beloved friends, followers, and fanatics. It has been oh so long since we last had a chance to catch up. Fortunately the extent of the regular column under the moniker of "Missy's Mail" will give those of you who truly care what the current club members are up to in the off season.

There is no escape from the Media Machine, and frenzy that will surround Missy's Mail. Hold onto your hats.

First of all we travel overseas to see what the Gordon Representatives are doing. It would appear very little. How ironic. I sent an email to all of the players overseas a week or so ago. So far Nicholson and McDonald have replied. The latter inviting me to have a round of 18 and a drink. The logistics of the invitation make the mind boggle. I thought long and hard about McDonald, and I came to the conclusion that he resembles a grown up Macaulay Culkin. I have been to his Wollstonecraft residence, and I would never leave him Home Alone.

Matt Nicholson on the other hand is settling in well, and everything should be running smoothly over in Northamptonshire.

Rod 'Rocket' Hokin has the best news of all however. He has "made an instant impression for Bovey Tracey in his debut game against Exmouth by hitting an unbeaten century in a seven-wicket warm-up win." Well done Rocket.

Ed Howitt Jnr had originally intended to head over but backed down at what must have been the final minute. However he is playing some cricket in a local winter league alongside Matt Michael, James Packman, Brett Rosen, Ahmed Iqbal, Iqbal Ahmed, and a few West Pymble associates. When I asked one participant if it was a bit of fun or quite serious; I was replied with "Well' Packers opened the bowling, Cuppy was keeping, and I opened the batting." Apparently they made a rule, if your delivery was hit for a maximum of six runs, the bowler had to fetch it. Hoppa did plenty of walking. Anyway the team won by 7 runs.

(Hoppa chasing a six)

Club Captain and adviser to all things love has now made his voyage across the waters of the world and touched down in the UK. After knowing about his departure date for some months, JOF decided to apply for his working VISA 13 minutes before his plane was due to leave the tarmac. Suffice to say he was in the country a little longer than first planned. I wasn't able to attend any of Pumps' 47 farewells as I was tied up on all occasions.

Unfortunately this is the only news I have to date of the performances of our overseas Stags. Perhaps in the next edition we can have news from Evans, Livermore, O'Neill Fuller, and Makepiece.

As for the Stags still in the country, well, not a lot to report on that either. I have run into Richie Paul on two occasions since he shocked the cricketing community and decided to hang up the spikes. The first time I was at Alberts Corner Bar in North Sydney. It was 1:45am. I was caught up in the hysteria of a Rugby night. I saw Richie talking to a young female. I had a quick word with Richie. Well it seemed like a quick word, but before I knew it the bar was closing, so it must have been close to an hour or something.

(Richie Paul prior to his retirement)

I'd like to report something from that evening, but I have no recollection of anything past 4 O'clock that afternoon. The second occasion I saw R.P. was at Balmoral oval, the Mosman Whales Homestead. He was watching his room mate, (or room mate's mate) play rugby, and I was there watching my beloved Knox Old Boys go round. I first saw Ritchie at midday and had a good chat with him. I saw him later at around 5. Well, he was just enjoying the rugby I suppose.

Stuart Slocombe or "Choppy" as he is affectionately known will be overseas as we speak in Samoa. "The Dentist" as he is less affectionately known is promoting cricket in Samoa. If anyone was to promote the ins and outs of cricket, it would be Slocombe. He will even be privileged to a dinner with the King of Samoa. Let's hope his etiquette is just as good as it is at the GreenGate.

The Moth, or "Tim Packman" as he is affectionately known spent the previous month, April, overseas in the UK. I have absolutely no idea what he was doing over there. But he was there. He is returning just in time to kick off the beach sessions down at curly.

(The moth...what was he doing in the UK?)

Dave Storey is still playing a bit of cricket for the I.Z.'s, and offered me the opportunity to play for the esteemed club. I had to decline due to my father's 70th birthday celebrations colliding on the same date. Dave has been working hard as he has only recently started his new job. I intend to catch up with Stores soon.

Leon Gulaptis, everybody's favourite extra, has officially turned 21 and celebrated the event at his home in Maclean. Congratulations to Gulappa. And of course to Ed Zelma who tied the knot a little while ago. Higgins was also able to tie the knot, however it was less of a surprise to see Higgins tie his shoe than see Zelma fall happily into wedlock. Congratulations Ed.

As for every other man at the club, I have unfortunately lost touch with.

(Leon Gulaptis)

Perhaps if they would like to let the rest of the club to know what they are and have been doing then they can drop me a line. So please, send your fan-mail, hate-mail, and advertisements for Penis-Enlargement Pills to Higgins_I@hotmail.com

That's the news of the world thus far. Stay tuned for the next instalment of Missy's Mail, hopefully I will be able to report more antics of Stags as they come to hand.

Stay Warm

Missy

The Hornets Nest

New column for Gordon website€The Hornet€s nest

With Fester deciding to take a sabbatical and move to Manly for this season, we have negotiated a new contract with one of our recently departed players. Thanks Fester for all the previews, we hope to catch up again.

Our new columnist was a well respected Gordon Cricket Club man whose fatherly advice was welcomed by all his subjects. Richie Brown (affectionately know as the Hornet) has made a move to Melbourne and after settling in to his new surroundings is keen to remain a part of our grand club.

What better way to stay involved but to continue to impart his social and cricketing wisdom to our young, impassioned and impressionable young players.

So we have created €The Hornet€s Nest€ and young and old players are encouraged to email the Gordon webmaster with any questions or guidance that may be required to steer their way though the trials and tribulations of their cricketing and social lives.

Originally there was€ €Dear Abbey€. Now there is€ €Dear Hornet€.

You may main remain anonymous or you may identify yourself. The Hornet will answer your requests through his regular column so as his presence can be felt by all of the Gordon community.

The Hornet is waiting to help.

You can now go direct to the hornet with your questions, email to askthehornet@hotmail.com

The Hornets Nest No 7

The Hornet's Nest No. 7

'I love thee, as I love the first young violet of spring'

Rested, rejuvenated, and in a sublime state of physical and mental health, the Hornet is back for 2006. Lying relatively low for the past month, I have received many emails and calls from concerned readers enquiring as to my whereabouts (most of them female relatives of the players). Living in the humming metropolis that is Melbourne, I have been busy consuming the local delights and festivities.

The Australian Open has recently been run and won and the city was littered with stars from all walks of life. Again my social calendar was full attending the events and functions that had been scheduled for the influx of big names. It was again a timely reminder of how good I look in a tuxedo.

I kept my camera close by as the star spotting opportunities were immense and you would never know when you would be face to face with a player. I snapped the shot here along the Tullamarine Freeway after a training session.

A big congratulations to Craig Simmons who made his first class debut for NSW. The scene for Simmo's debut was quite fittingly in the northern town of Newcastle. Simmo is not the only young Stag to get a call up in Newcastle, but not all have been at the Newcastle Sports Stadium. Apparently the Blues stayed at the Bimet Hotel except for Simmo who was refused accommodation due to his association with the Stags and Tony Wilson.

As one of the Stag's first grade players prepares himself for take-off along the runway of love (read JOF), another young player must be wondering if he will ever find love again, after managing to wear a haggard in his melon for the second time in two seasons. I remember James Hosking as a kid with boyish good looks who would not have looked out of place on Brokeback Mountain. Now, he looks as though he has gone 12 rounds with Cinderella Man.

(James Hosking)

With the new year, there will surely be new questions that will need answering from the Hornet's library of life experiences'Remember, the Hornet is here to help.

The Hornet

The Hornets Nest No 6

The Hornet's Nest No.6

This shall be the final entry from The Hornet for this calendar year before a well earned holiday. Whilst initially established to provide guidance to fellow players, I have also found the experience to be one of self discovery.

One thing that does impress the Hornet is the fact that Killara Oval and it's facilities are continually on the improve. The internet service that currently resides in the club house is evidence of the improvements, along with the recently installed speedgun for the fast bowlers. Originally trialled by Dylan's lovely wife Karen, the club was impressed with the trials and has errantly installed the radar gun. Dylan can be seen here with the speedgun sign in the background as he sends down another 50km/h thunderbolt.

I would also like to send out a get well message to the recovering Reginald. I have been privy to the doctors assessment and to be honest, the spleen is the least of his worries. Without going into detail, it is suffice to say that there mustn't be a medical check at RSVP.

The "I'm Lucky To Still Be Alive" award this week must go to Iqbal Ahmed. Seen below enjoying the carnival atmosphere of The Shire, I thought that the lovable Iqbal may have ripped his last leggie. Having successfully eluded the authorities after the 9/11 fallout, Gordon's very own terrorist looked to have met his match this time on Cronulla beach.

(The ever present webmaster cemented his reputation as one of the best snappers in the game after being Johnny on the Spot to get this great action pic)

I was relieved to see Iqbal in the team line up for this upcoming weekend against the Ghosts. Iqbal will appreciate the away game in Campbelltown where he will be amongst his 'brothers', and can turn his attention to cricket without the threat of reprisal from the sea-siders.

All the best to all Stags and their families for a great Christmas and New Year break. A special kiss on the cheek for all the lovely Killara tea ladies, whom I miss more than most of the players.

Yours Under the Mistletoe,

The Hornet

The Hornets Nest No 5

The Hornet's Nest No. 5

Upon opening the mailbag this week, I was greeted by an email from a "Hornette". A very insight email from this mystery reader who no doubt has plenty to offer the players of the club in a social sense. I also picked up on her subtle nuances which leads me to believe that somewhere in the future this column may be coming to you from Mr and Mrs Hornet...more to come I'm sure.

(The Godfather)

I did receive a question from a soon-to-be Godfather from the club's playing ranks. He is after guidance on how to dutifully fulfil this important role. The simple answer would be to look at Gordon's most famous Godfather, Tiddles Wilson, and follow his lead. This, of course, is fraught with danger. Tony displays what we may call an unorthodox approach to Godfathering. The theory behind his method is to obviously help his God sons make all the same mistakes he did when he was young, and then some. I guess the logic is if they can do all that and still be alive by the age of 21, then the rest of their life should be a breeze.

The Godfather plays an integral role in the growth and development of a child through to adulthood. It should be seen as a privilege and a great honour to be recognised by new parents for you to be an influence in their child's life. My advice to you is, make this child a part of your life, and just as one drop of ink can colour litres of water, so too can your love for this child change the world.

(The Godson)

Last week saw a great day at Hurstville Oval for the First XI, news of which even made one local paper down here in Melbourne...I quote "...The young Western Australian import, Craig Simmons, played a mature and controlled innings. One particular hook shot he played impressed all at the ground, but more importantly brought back memories of 'the shot' played in 2003/04. That was the day Richie Brown decided Hurstville, (the suburb that is, not the ground) was not big enough for his pull shot.." Simmo, nothing to be ashamed of, the Hornet is a prolific hitter of sixes to all parts of the cricket oval.

The Hornet made a fleeting visit to Stag Park two weeks ago and I left scratching my head at what sort of a state the club is in. "Surely the club can afford to provide the players with enough shirts for it's players to wear whilst not on the ground", I asked myself. There was more flesh on show around the park that afternoon than the Playboy Mansion. I will be following up this issue with the committee in an attempt to provide enough funding for the basics of a cricket club. Failing this, I will ensure Tim Packman is available for more strengthening sessions for these players.

Finally, good luck to Dylan over the Christmas and New Year period. Historically, Santa has brought you a couple of extra kilos so good luck with the Post-Xmas weigh-in Dyl.

Always True,

The Hornet

The Hornets Nest No. 4

The Hornet's Nest No. 4

You can complain because roses have thorns, or rejoice that thorns have roses...

Well, it has been another couple of barmy weathered Melbourne weeks for the Hornet to enjoy. With summer upon us, it was time to shave down the upper-thigh sideburns, and slip into my favourite speedos. The old lollybags don't seem to have taken off down in the southern state...but it will take more than laughter and ridicule to get this Stag into a pair of boardies.

Notable in his absence over the past couple of weeks has been Slammin' Sammy Hinton. The Hornet initially assumed he had fallen in love and had given the game away, then the news came through that he was once again on the injured list. Sam 'the tampax' Hinton - in for one week, out for three. The regularity with which that kid harms himself, he should be in the padded cell next to Mitch under constant surveillance.

On perusal of a recent first grade report, I struggled through the copy only to find the author to be none other that B Mac. After reading the report it has done nothing to alter my opinion that I believe the Sydney Cricket Association should bring in random tests for recreational drug use. This young tweaker needs direction in his life, and I'm not convinced he is in the right place.

I almost choked on my tepid soy machiatto when I became aware of B Mac's appointment as Green Shield coach...although a wry smile came to my face when I had visions of 11 fifteen year olds out-witting The Mac. These guys are impressionable young players, the lifestyle choices you have chosen are for yourself B Mac, please keep your involvement with them limited.

(Brendan McDonald)

It has been fantastic to see JOF up in the top grade. I have no doubt that he will make the most of his opportunities and grab this chance with both hands. With the number of durries JOF consumes, he understands that he is living on borrowed time and every day after 30 will be a blessing.

I would also like to pass on my best wishes to the Stags second grade side.

You are no doubt a fantastic unit, but due to the length of RM Stobo's reports, I am yet to finish one and hence have no idea of any results.

I apologise that I haven't had time to get to the Hornet's mailbag and answer any questions this week, but as you see, there were a couple of issues I needed to get off my tanned chiselled chest.

(Jof, can you use a tree next time)

Remember you can ask The Hornet a question by sending him an email to: askthehornet@hotmail.com

The Hornet

The Hornets Nest No 3

He who plants trees, loves others beside himself...

It has been an interesting week for The Hornet, with the Spring Racing Carnival in full swing he has been trying relentlessly to secure a picture of himself in the social pages of the Melbourne newspapers. So far his pursuits have been unsuccessful, which again highlights the fact that you can be the best dressed unit in the Southern Hemisphere, and still miss out. Nevertheless, to be at trackside and cheer Makybe Diva home was a moment that sent shivers down my spine, and some cash in to my kick.

There were rumours that a NSW cricketer was at the track on Cup Day, but all the Hornet could get was a few texts from the unnamed player saying he was too busy to catch up... would this have happened before he earned his Baggy Blue?? Coming from such nice parents, I still find it hard to believe.

The Nest has received a question from a left-handed first-grade batsman asking, "whether it is possible to find true love though cyberspace or do you have to do it the conventional way?"

The first thing that strikes me, knowing this person, is that the question appears to be an oxymoron. By his own admission, he has already found true love on a number occasions through cyberspace. There were many Saturday mornings we would be sitting in the sheds and I would be debriefed about the lady he had truly loved the night before.

This question does raise some issues though that I might be able to address for some players. When talking about "the conventional way" of finding love, the ever-changing society we find ourselves in has blurred the boundaries of meeting our soul mate. For example, Pic is likely to use the "Go to Jackson's, get full, spill half your drink, and grope everything" approach, hoping that his potential life partner is on the dance floor with him at 3.30am and just as inebriated.

Some of the young punks in the club are just as likely to see the conventional way of meeting their partner is at the Greenwood Hotel on Thursday night. Often being attracted by the dilated pupils and clicking jaws which seems to be the latest fad amongst that demographic. Young Dan Richtor has even been known to raise the bar by piercing himself in "unusual" places to impress this hip uber crowd. (If Mr and Mrs Richtor are reading this, at least it's not another tattoo)

Cupid can fire his arrow in the most unusual ways and places, and Reggie, being in the Top 10 at RSVP only reinforces the fact that you are the chameleon of the dating world.

Love often, and love true. The Hornet

You can now go direct to the hornet with your questions, email to askthehornet@hotmail.com

The Hornets Nest No 2

Love is friendship, with wings...The Hornet's Nest No.2

Witnessing the unsuccessful dating exploits of a number of young players in past seasons, I am expecting a plethora of questions to surface regarding the game of love. I welcome these questions, as relationships are the cornerstones of our lives. In the absence of strong, loving bonds, we are left with nothing but a hot tub and an all-year tan. The right partner will present themselves as a cool body of water as we scorch our feet on the blistering hot sand of life's desert (the Hornet has recently double-glazed his windows, for those of you with stones at the ready).

(The Hornet in action)

Slammin' Sammy Hinton is after some advice on the correct policy of whether to take your girlfriend out on Saturday night, or to return to The Green Gate with your Club mates. Having had close relationships with some of Sam's ladies, I feel as though I am more than qualified to provide some direction to young Sam.

In the first instance, you should be attending the Gate and extending a genuine invite to your young partner. This doesn't mean asking her, "to come up the Gate for bangers and mash, get assaulted by 25 desperate Stags, then drive me home while I vomit out the car window". Extend the promise of a couple of glasses of full bodied reds, a pleasant meal, and to share good conversation with like-minded people. Remember Hint Dog...women don't want to be the highest peach on the tree, where they can't be reached and squeezed. They want to feel a part of you, a part of your life, a part of your dreams, and a part of your cricket club.

If your lady refuses the invitation, then tell her you will see her in late March.

Relationships work best when there is a balance, and when both parties are willing to compromise. At this stage of your life Sammy, it is quite normal to be wrapped up in yourself, for goodness sake look at Hoskos. You are young, virile, and at an age where you want it all. The best piece of advice I can offer is to be true to yourself and treat ladies hearts with respect.

(Sam Hinton)

Yours in Love, The Hornet

The Hornets Nest No 1

The Hornet's Nest No 1

...Life's toughest battles are fought out daily in the silent chambers of our souls.

Fellow Stags, I cannot tell you how happy I am that I will be a regular contributor the best Club Cricket Website in the World. Also knowing that I can contribute positively on the lives of those who so desperately need my guidance, brings me as much joy.

(The Hornet, Richie Brown)

If there is one thing that I have learnt about the Stags, it is that this type of forum is well overdue. One whereby I can provide direction, and some meaning to some otherwise troubled souls. It is the battles in our souls that I will endeavour to conquer and with it, we shall climb the jagged cliff-face of life and stand on the summit in triumph.

It was probably not surprising that one of the first cries for help came from the returning Ed Zelma. Ed is torn between the manly look of leaving his body hair on, and resorting to the effeminate look of waxing his body. Ed, necessity is the mother of all inventions. Male body wax was invented for a reason, so use it. I can also see through this transparent plea by Eddie, I can tell that he is not going to stop at the waxing. If ever you are unsure of what is acceptable for men, look back a couple of years at what the fairer sex were engaging in. It is no coincidence that we men are now wearing sarongs, g strings, and nail polish. Good luck Ed, you have some awkward life decisions ahead of you.

I was most relieved to have some correspondence from young Andrew Plummer. After spending a season in the Old Dart there was always the possibility of him not surviving (Sportsbet had Plums at a short price to eat himself to death). Plum's question was simple, asking himself "Why do I play for Gordon?" Well Plums, if I had a dollar for every time I heard somebody asking why you ended up at the club, I would probably own a dozen horses with Tiddles.

(Andrew Plummer)

To answer your question though, I can't tell you why you play for the Stags, some things are better off just left alone. It is one of the great mysteries in the modern era, you are truly a once-in-a-generation player. It is rare to see a batsman given a standing ovation from a net session, yet on more than one occasion you brought the club to it's feet. My parting advice to you is, don't think...about anything.

In the upcoming Nest I provide Sammy Hinton with some social etiquette rules regarding girlfriends, and Jordy Holmes some local knowledge of the Stags home ground.

Share Your Journey, The Hornet

Dan Frogan

Dan Frogan has returned

The coming season of 2005/06 has been greeted with much enthusiasm amongst the Highland faithful. Not since the emergence of a young (and beardless) Matthew Nicholson, some 12 years ago, has the opportunity to see a potential world-beater strut his cricketing "stuff" down ol' Chatswood way presented itself.

However, an innocuous e-mail from the subcontinent to Tony "Tiddles" Wilson to enquire about the possibility of playing for the club sent the tanned retiree into a flap. Word quickly passed around that a 17 year old, who Tom Moody described as being the next "big" thing in world cricket, would help Gordon's quest to wrest the Belvidere Cup back to its rightful home.

Javier de Silva is clearly a player of rare talent and many think that he would have been a fantastic asset to the club. Surely there was no question that Gordon, still in its rebuilding phase, would have appreciated a world-class player. However, it appears that this rare talent will not be let loose on the Sydney first grade competition wearing green, maroon and silver, as the usually reliable Wilson was not convinced that de Silva was good enough to command a place in the impressive squad that the committee has assembled for the coming season.

Xavier Da Silva in action

The last time Gordon refused to believe the hype about a player of such talent, the renowned Dan Frogan quietly slipped away from Chatswood Oval without ever being given the opportunity to seriously challenge CG Macartney's single season aggregate record. Frogan turned his attention to rugby until he was apparently banned for life from the Dubbo competition.

Some say that Wilson is brave to have ignored de Silva and to have put such faith in the players to whom he had already committed. Others may say he is fool hardy (as usual, all of Wilson's questionable decisions should be blamed on the hours he spends on his custom-made sun bed) but we will see how the Stags progress without the talented Sri Lankan. The rumour is that Gordon's loss may be North Sydney's gain. It is hoped that what may be perceived as one man's short-sightedness does not assist our fierce rivals.

If Wilson had worked just that little bit harder, de Silva, an undergraduate enrolled in journalism at the Open University, may have been writing this electronic column throughout the season. Instead the seat will be filled by the aforementioned Dan Frogan an old friend of an unnamed yet cynical 31 year old opener, who managed a first grade batting average, over 9 seasons, only slightly better than Matt Todd.

There are not many photos of Dan available, however his friend was able to dig up this shot of Dan sometime in the sixties.

As a cricketer and a writer he is not worthy even to be compared to Javier de Silva, however despite the lack of writing talent, Dan's column will seek to bring to this site the stories behind the stories during the course of what is sure to be a successful season for the Stags.

Best Regards

Dan Frogan

Dan Frogan reports on Poidevin Gray win

Just ran into Dan this afternoon. He's been busy trying to broker a deal with the Jamaican bobsled team for Benji Marshall next summer. No rest for the wicked however. He's off to Adelaide this week to give Aurelio Vidmar some tact lessons before the Grand Final of the A-League as he's a little worried about what Vidmar will say if the Adelaide Victory get beaten by Melbourne again. He's then back to help the Waratahs in their next Super 14 game. He's been summoned (again) particularly to help Kurtley Beale with his goal-kicking and all the NSW hookers with their throws into the lineout. He's going to be busy for a while.

(The 1974-75 Poidevin Gray winning team with none other than Michael Falk and that respendent looking chap in the middle of the back row...one Dick Huey)

HOWEVER, he was absolutely delighted to see the Poidevin (the most misspelt, mispronounced word in Sydney cricket)-Gray team reach the semi-finals. Frogan was, in fact, the coach of the last Gordon P-G team to win the competition back in 1974-75. One piece of irony was not lost on him ' to get into the final (no semis back then), Gordon had to beat Cumberland (now Parramatta). They did so, comfortably. Who did our team beat on Sunday??? Coincidence? I don't think so!! A sign. The 74-75 team then went on to comfortably defeat Sutherland, a team containing two excellent cricketers who then went on to play for Australia ' Andrew Hilditch, now the chairman of Australian selectors and John Dyson, the taker of the greatest catch ever, in the final. Frogan was honoured extensively for his contribution to Gordon's success and it really was the start of his legendary status in sport. He'll probably be coming down to the odd practice in the next few weeks to hopefully help our team continue their excellent efforts.

Frogan also was cleaning out the garage of his palatial Dubbo home a couple of days ago and he found a Gordon DCC Newsletter, dated January 1969. Yes, I know. Most of us weren't born then. However, he noted a couple of interesting items in the miscellanea column:

1. 'Jim Cattlin has lost 10 tosses out of 11 (to date!)'

2. 'A.Wilson continues to amaze with his off the field activities.'

What do we learn? One, don't ever go to Star City with Cats. Two 'Tids' same old, same old. He was also referred to as 'Alouette' Wilson in the publication. Why?? Ask him.

(Jim Cattlin... 10 toss losses out of 11)

After our short chat, Dan had to go. Hugh Jackman rang him for advice on hosting the Oscars. Dan was surprised, but if we can ever get him to be the guest speaker at one of our Luncheons, you will very quickly realize why he is in such great demand.

Anonymous

Dan Frogan called in to help Australian team

With a Test series and One day series loss behind them, the Australia team management have finally turned to the doyen of cricket psychologists Dan Frogan to prepare them for the many months of toil ahead.

(Barack and a man purported to be Dan Frogan at a press conference before returning to Yamba)

Never one to take the limelight Dan has agreed to terms and will fly in this weekend after completing his integration planning contract with Barrack Obama in Washington.

'I think the boys need some old fashioned motivation. I might try the Tom Raudonikis face slapping approach to get them back in the winning mood. Tom was a good mate of mine in the country before he made good' said Dan clearing out his White House office.

'I am also going to try and get my mate Beau Casson back in the side, he reminds me a lot Johnny Watkins when I worked closely with him after his tour of the West Indies in 1972/73. He became a legend after that tour'

Dan has had a busy couple of months. In addition to his contract with his mate Barack, he has been working with Football Federation Australia with their 2030 bid for the World Cup, having worked with Frank Lowy as a silent partner in his development of Westfield in the 60's.

Dan was the one who advised him against the building of the first Westfield department store in Coombadjha near Yamba. This of course is where Dan spends his spare time fishing for Bass and where he still holds the world record for a Bass catch of 12 kilos. He of course returned the massive catch to fight another day.

(A man with a likeness to Dan holds his record catch)

'I won't be interfering with Tim Nielson's coaching systems, I am more of a man management person who gets the best out of what is available'. I used this approach with Jelena the week before the Australian Open in getting her head in the right place'. Said Dan

'I am going to start getting them to relax more, go fishing and learn how to catch a Bass without charging through its front door. Andrew Symonds used this approach with great effect after spending a week with Dan fishing for Barra in the Northern Territory. 'Take it easy and they will come to you, will be my approach, then before they know it they are grilling on the frypan'

(Dan and Andrew before an outing on his boat)

Dan expects to take it easy himself after this current contract and go back to the Mann River for some R&R. 'I sold all my shares in November 2007 in expectation of the global financial crisis and I will catch up on some painting for my portfolio before my next exhibition at the National Art Gallery'.

Dan wont be lost to the Gordon Club during his sabbatical as he intends to come down for our next sponsor lunch and tell us about some of his future plans with his world wide Twenty/20 competition that will be run from Yamba and include a holiday up the Clarence river for those who want to have a break after the big tournament. Dan is truly an 'ideas man' and there is no doubt the world would be lost without him.

I am sure Ricky will be listening intently to his words of wisdom and before long Australia will be number 1 again in all forms of the game.

Anonymous

Frogan's Caribbean Adventure

Well, he's at it again. Frogan took time off from his position as Robbie Dean's technical adviser for the Wallabies to give the Australian cricket team a bit of support in Barbados. Tim Nielsen, the Australian coach, had sent an SOS to him last week to ensure a 2-0 Test result rather than the possibility of a drawn series.

(Dan's No 1 Mentoring client - Beau Casson)

Frogan's first advice to the Australian selectors was to make sure that Gordon's own, Beau Casson, would be in the team. While it wasn't rocket science, there was a feeling that the 'part-timers' might carry the spinning role. 'Balderdash!' said Frogan. Beau was picked and the rest is history ' a win, with the Stag taking vital wickets in the second innings.

So there was a fair Gordon influence in this very entertaining Test match in sunny Barbados. But wait ' there's more! As Frogan walked past the commentary box, there was Jim Maxwell, the ABC's finest, giving excellent description of the action and, sitting next to him - fair suck of the battered sav ' there was none other than another ex-Gordonite ' Henderson Wallace! If you were awake in the middle of the night over the last week you would have heard his expert opinions. Big 'Hendy' was a rather sizeable, cheerful Barbadian who played half a season with the club in the mid 80's.

Hendy was an opening bowler (in those days, all West Indians were) who also gave the ball a bit of a nudge with the bat. He played a couple of 3^rd Grade games before playing the last three in 1^st Grade.

(Dan Frogan arriving in Barbados with Mr Stanford after negotiating the new 20/20 competition)

While he only had moderate success, his ability to hit the ball into distant places was never clearer than when he was playing out at Sydney University. The 3rds were playing on No. 1 and 1sts on No.2, due to some problems with the main ground. The 1^st Grade game was progressing satisfactory when balls from the main ground started to lob on to No.2. Henderson was showing how to hit a lofted straight drive! That's a long way.

Hendy is now one of the leading commentators in Barbados but when Frogan caught up with him, he was happy to share a few stories about his short but enjoyable stay at Gordon.

So, it doesn't matter where the cricket is ' in the West Indies, in an England vs New Zealand one-dayer (Scott Styris), an English County game (Matt Nicholson, Will Smith, Dean Cosker), an English Minor Counties game (Danny Leech) ' anywhere! There's going to be a Stag or an ex-Stag. And do you know what? There's a pretty fair chance that Dan Frogan helped him get where he is today!

Dan Frogan

Dan Frogan surfaces again

Shout it from the highest mountain. Accompany it with the fanfare of a hundred trumpets. That is possibly laying it on a bit thick; but for the members of our club, to see our premier side playing off in the final will be a very proud moment.

(Libby Trickett in her Frogan design swimsuit)

The captains, the team and the support staff who have developed a group that have reached this stage is a testament to the years of hard work that have been done since those individuals (and others) decided at the turn of the Millennium to drag Gordon back up to where it belonged in Sydney Grade Cricket. As has been reported here previously, none of this could have been achieved without Frogan's influence.

Frogan has not been around too often in the last 18 months. It has been a very busy couple of years for the man with the golden playbook. He has been in high demand across his many areas of influence.

This was not more evident than in the Cricket and Rugby World Cups. Until the Greg Chappell experience in India went sour, the man who invented 20/20 cricket whilst playing for Somerset in 1968 was preparing the team who prevailed as inaugural winners of that "World Cup".

However, Frogan was not able to rest from the ignominious (and potentially fool hardy decision by the BCCI) as the Rugby World Cup loomed large on the radar.

The Wallabies' decision, under the new coaching staff of Knuckles Connolly, to opt against taking the Frogan as their spiritual guide was Greg Mumm and Fiji's gain as he helped the Pacific Island nation reach the quarter finals of the competition for the first time.

Since the Rugby World Cup Frogan has had precious little time to spend time with his beloved Gordon, as sporting garment manufacturer, Speedo utilised his special understanding of physics and swimming to design the new suits that make Libby Lenton or Trickett or whatever her name is flatter than Brendan McDonald. However, it is clear that she still has far bigger pecs than the Gordon twirler. Quite what revolutionary skin-tight under garments the team will wear this weekend is a secret; but it is sure to be very special.

As has been previously revealed in this column, McDonald likes to take his shirt off as often as he can. Some would say that fellow whirly, Chris Archer, is fast attaining the same reputation. Frogan noted in the photo of the Club song belted out with gusto at Chatswood on Sunday afternoon, that 11 first grade players (including 12th man Jones) had their shirts on. There was only one who thought a shirt unnecessary ... McDonald.

Whatever he is doing, he should keep doing it for another week as he has already captured 42 wickets at 22 this season. Whatever Dylan Connell has been doing this season, that has returned 41 wickets at 22 thus far, is probably best left unsaid and may have something to do with his ridiculously large towel.

It has been a very solid back half of the year from a team that suffered some close losses earlier in the year, to seemingly slip out of contention.

The performances of Simmons have been fantastic and he is agonisingly close to breaking the long-standing first grade season run scoring record, which some thought would never be broken. After all, it has been on the books and withstood the test of time for nearly 13 whole months when Craig himself finished the 2006/2007 season with 33 at Waitara.

(Craig Simmons in action last weekend)

As Simmo prepares to return home to Western Australia to further his first-class career, Frogan bursts with pride at yet another on his production line of identified talent. He will be missed as much for his run production and left arm rubbish (for which 17 blokes in Sydney should be very embarrassed about succumbing to this season - 17 blokes!) as he will be for the long hours he spent in the sheds after the game.

Frogan noted with interest the fact that two men who called Waitara home for a number of seasons, Hokin and Beverley, have been mainstays in this season's first grade side. When Frogan was chairman of the recruitment sub-committee in 1984, he identified 2 players from Northern Districts that he thought crucial to count amongst Gordon's number.

(Rod Hokin and Iain Beverley against Randwick Petersham)

In the seasons that followed, the Club welcomed Steve Mervyn Day, a determined batsman and fantastic cover fieldsman who could barely roll his arm over; but still managed to hit a 15 year old Kelly in the head in the Chatswood nets. Welcome to grade cricket son. Brutal! Frogan had also noticed a young left hander playing for the Rangers who many had ignored as a bloke who scored runs but didn't look too pretty doing it.

Michael Cant arrived at the Club in 1987 and over the next decade he scored 5,240 runs in 1st grade at nearly 35 (approximately 4,200 of which were scored backward of point). However, it was Frogan's genius in attracting these two men to the Club whomeach captained a magnificent squad of players in 1989/90 and 1990/91 respectively that brought the Belvidere Cup to Gordon. It seems to Frogan that Gordon is again in good hands with the solid performances of the two men who started their careers 20 kilometres north up the F1.

(Michael Cant hitting behind point)

The Stags are not currently led by a former Gum Tree as they again strive to win the competition; but Matt Nicholson was raised and was educated in the heart land of our northern neighbour and in Frogan's words: "as far as superstition goes, that'll do for me". After a fine second half of his first-class career, upon returning from Western Australia, and with the number of times he has pulled his team out of the mire over the seasons, it seems only right that the team puts up its best performance of the season on the weekend.

A team is often only as strong as the will of its team. After a lean run since Christmas, Frogan is convinced that James Packman is hungry for and destined to get big runs. He hasn't gone this long without a making a significant score in a significant period of time. Apparently he is running at 5-1 to be top scorer in Howitt Jnr's book. The one-time face of Sports Bet, Randwick-Petersham coach, Billy Anderson was heard to say on his 53rd lap of Chatswood Oval for the weekend: "Howitt is crazy.

(The money is on Packers)

Packman is great value at $5 and more chance of earning a return than any of Tony Wilson's nags. If you've got a spare hundred buck get it on James Packman". If enough people get on board, Frogan can see Howitt living with Margaret and Senior and working for Pic for the considerable part of a long time to pay off his debts. However, the likes of Reece Bombas and Brad Rasool could be worth a few bucks on Howitt's odds. Each has the talent to get big runs and there could be no better time than to do it this weekend. Please see Howitt or CentreBet for current odds.

Last Sunday, after a recovery session, Frogan drove Waratah captain Phil Waugh to Chatswood to see Waugh's old school mate Packman bat. The runs that were hoped for by Waugh did not eventuate. However, Frogan is sure that a trip to the ground the day after the Waratahs' crunch match against Auckland SFS will be rewarded.

Frogan was pleased to see hart-hearted Stag Ed Zelma back in action against Randwick Petersham on the weekend. It was unlikely that anyone could have kept him away for too much longer. Frogan's mind power, two roles of sticky tape and a ball of string seem to have done the trick. Zelma will play a big role in facing the club that he played for for a couple of seasons and won a second grade premiership against Mosman at this weekend's venue in 2002/03.

(Ed Zelma against Randwick Petersham last weekend)

It was during that game that St George were dead in the water, when Zelma knocked over 3 Whales batsmen with straight half volleys. The tactical acumen in trying 3 straight half volleys almost embarrassed Frogan that he had not thought of the same thing. However, Frogan relaxed in the knowledge that if he had been involved, Saints would never have been in trouble in the first place.

Richard Stobo recounts that when he and Phil Emery witnessed the epic semi-final between Wests and Northern Districts at Waitara in 1985, they determined from that moment to play in finals cricket as it is the toughest, most intense and best cricket to be played in the season.

Anyone who has been at Sydney Uni No.1 and Chatswood Oval over the last fortnight and seen fantastic contests played against quality opposition will testify to that sentiment. The reward for the players is obvious. Beau Casson is the prime example. He has had a great season in first class cricket, scoring runs, taking wickets, being part of a winning NSW team and has now been selected for the upcoming Australian tour of the West Indies later in the year.

(Graham King joins in the singing on Sunday evening)

Frogan noticed thatdespite his great success this season, during thesinging of the Club songon Sunday, which wasfirst penned by Frogan in 1973 (the year that Cattlin won "Best Body in the Club"), Casson was clearly as thrilled as team mascot Marcus in his enthusiasm. Stags stalwart Graham King also made an appearance in the rooms on Sunday and climbed into the song that he sung many times as a player during his 33 year stint in which he amassed a club record 1,121 wickets at 14.It demonstrates just what victory through to a final means to the players in the team and to everyone in the Club.

The story, however, that Frogan likes most about motivation to win a first grade premiership is one that Mark O'Neill has told. O'Neill recounted (in his matter of fact, some may say expletive-punctuated style) that in the late 80's he and other players were so sick and tired about the old blokes talking about the Club Championship flag that they had won in 1974/75 that they were determined to get one of the bloody things for themselves. Two flags (in red and blue) were duly brought back to the Club and then stolen by the miscreant youths of Chatswood.

(Mark O'Neill in the 80's)

Frogan has always suspected that Livermore knows the whereabouts of these items as he was amongst the greatest miscreants in the area at the time. Some say that he still is; but that is both unfounded and unfair. In any event, it seems to Frogan from his discussions with the first grade team members that they too are sick and tired about hearing ofthe feats of the early 90's teams and wish to get their own bloody flag. Hear, hear!

Gordon has been in 5 Finals in 1st grade since the Second World War. Ginty Lush's sides of 1945/46 and 1947/48, the Day and Cant led sides of the early 90's and the Dick Guy led side in 1971/72. The only side to go down in those contests was the 1971/72 side who were decimated by Gary Gilmour who led the Western Suburbs attack taking 6/4 at Pratten Park.

(Good try Frogan, you didn't think the webmaster could find Ginty did you...here is the great man)

Frogan was disappointed to miss the game with a recurrence of a left shoulder injury suffered prior to the start of that season in the triple jump at the national Athletics Championships, which served as a selection event for the Munich Olympics that were held later in 1972. There is no doubt that his presence in the top order on a seaming Pratten wicket would have made a huge difference.

St George are a very good team and a very strong and proud club. As minor premiers they have played good cricket during the year. But with the Stags running into form at the right time of the season and believing in themselves and each other, they have given themselves the right to play for the ultimate reward in the strongest club competition in the world. Boys, we are all behind you.

Congratulations on a fine season so far and we hope that you perform at your best for one more week. Frogan will be lurking at Bankstown to have the opportunity (win or lose) to see the Club in its finest hour in 17 years.

(Dan Frogan before the Munich Olympics)

Win for yourselves, win for your team mates, win for your Club or win for a new bloody flag to fly at Chatswood Oval; but give it everything that you have and enjoy the experience.

Anonymous

Up Gordon. Get far ya bar.

Dan Frogan - No. 3 - 07/08 Season

'Pretty good week, that'

Frogan echoed the famous words of the great Richie Benaud after checking the results in the Sunday papers. Immediately after returning from Pakistan, where his attempt at brokering a positive outcome to the possibility of an Australian tour unfortunately appears to have fallen on deaf ears, Frogan was mightily enthused by the idea of Gordon appearing in 3 semi finals. After last weekend positioned 1sts, 2nds and 4ths in with a chance of progressing further into the autumn months, his mind went back to the halcyon season of 1974-75 where every grade reached the semi-finals. Unfortunately, only one side grasped the grail but they were heady days.

Geoff Lawson with a player in dire need of a manager like Frogan

Back to Pakistan. Frogan and Geoff Lawson, the Pakistan coach, both represented Combined NSW Country many years ago ' 'Henry' a callow stringbean from Wagga (Wagga) and Frogan from Dubbo. They discussed at length the danger factor of touring Pakistan. Henry convinced the Dubbo icon that there were few problems ' he was walking the streets of Karachi with little trepidation. Frogan himself felt little concern with reacquainting himself with some of the more colorful nightclubs in Pakistan's larger centres. If there's a Pakistan version of Bollywood, watch out Brett Lee ' Frogan is smokin'!

On the trip back, Frogan had business in Mumbai ' as manager of several leading Australian players, he was anxious to organize profitable deals for them in the ICL. There's still plenty of money to be had in this so-called 'second-tier' series, and Frogan has already clearly established himself as one of cricket's leading negotiators. If you need proof' well, in organizing the 'so-called' auctioning of players for the IPL a fortnight ago, guess who was in Andrew Symonds corner? Suffice to say, if Punter had his time over again, he would have gone for Frogan as his 'advisor' and wouldn't be eating fish and chips wrapped in the Launceston Herald right now while Roy is eating freshly caught lobster.

A man of the people, they turn out in great numbers to see Frogan whilst in Lahore, Pakistan

Back to Gordon. Frogan has great respect for Manly ' one of few Sydney clubs that kept his performances down to the category of only 'exceptional'. He's also very excited about the recognition his old adversary Mick Pawley is going to get on Saturday morning when Manly will name their new ground after him. Mick has been a legend on the northern beaches - the heart and soul of cricket in the area. Frogan will be trying to get down there for the beginning of the Fifth Grade game when the Mike Pawley Oval will be officially opened. He does have another commitment however, as Binga and Kat have asked him to address the NSW team before the start of the Pura Cup Final. I reckon he'll still make it, though. Anyway, Frogan thinks this weekend could be something great for Gordon and would love to see success right through the grades. Three teams in the semis and he may be opening his wallet!

Frogan 2

So, Movember is happening at Gordon now. Well, speaking to Dan Frogan last week, moustaches used to be an integral part of cricket. He played through the era of Ian Chappell, whose iconic 'tache' was the forerunner for hairy faces all over the cricketing world. However it is generally accepted that it was in a Possibles vs Probables trial match before the 1972 Ashes Tour that Chappell was so impressed with Frogan's upper lip that he made the decision to go the 'tache', and the rest is history.

(Dan during one of his recent trip to Afganistan to mediate between the USA and Taliban forces for which Dan received a US military award)

Frogan's moustache had everything ' it was bushy and drooped down in true Mexican style. The effect it had on the fairer sex was mesmeric. They swooned, screamed, even threw items of clothing (often all at the same time)!

There was such a wide variety of moustache in those days. One would see things that almost grew while you watched, other more cultured creations with an aristocratic twirl at the ends, down to the pathetic wisps that needed the light to be coming from a certain angle to be identified.

So it will be interesting to see different creations over the next few weeks. If you want to see perfection, look for photos of Dan in old issues of Australian Cricket. There's no doubt that that is to what you should all be aspiring. He also attended the ARIAS (Dan has been a rock legend over the last 30 years, regularly winning awards for his best-selling albums) where he noticed that all members of silverchair, in their desire to replicate greatness, were the proud owners of Froganesque mo's.

With the Annual Stags Luncheon coming up this week, it is coincidental that mention should be made earlier of Ian Chappell. Gordon used to have an annual dinner, way back in the 70's where well-known cricket figures regaled the diners with stories of their experiences. Ian Chappell was the guest speaker at the first two of these dinners, as a favour to Frogan, and he proved most entertaining. In years following, such famous cricketers as Doug Walters, Merv Hughes and Mark Taylor amused the masses at venues like the Royal Automobile Club, North Sydney Leagues Club, Windsor Gardens and the Chatswood Club.

This year's speakers all have a strong cricketing background too. Phil Waugh, as well as being a champion rugby player, was also an excellent wicketkeeper at schoolboy level. He captained Jimmy Packman's school team which won the Australian Schools title and he, also, didn't give Jimmy a bowl. Phil played a couple of lower grade and Poidevin-Gray games for Gordon before rugby took over. Gordon Bray was a very handy cricketer whose commentating duties precluded him from playing grade cricket.

Frogan toured the world with Gordon and can remember leading him astray on many occasions. Vince Sorrenti' well, Vince is from Punchbowl. Jeff Thomson and Len Pascoe went to Punchbowl High School. Practically brothers.

Special Announcement: it is rumoured that Dan will be making a surprise appearance at the Luncheon. Although an affiliate member of the ACB and hence required to attend the Hobart Test, he is planning to fly down on Friday afternoon after a visit to Cockle Bay. It'll be great to see him!

Dan Frogan 2007/08 - No. 1

Dan Frogan is back

Just a couple of weeks ago, a Gordon official happened, per chance, to run into the elusive Dan Frogan out at the Gulargambone Rodeo in western NSW. After re-negotiating a deal with the Pulitzer winning journalist, Dan Frogan is back for 2007/08. The webmaster is quick to pass on his thanks to Dan for his planned re-involvement in the affairs of the GDCC. It is with regret however, that Dan's appearances will be limited as his regular overseas travels, to fulfil commitments as an International Sports Science Consultant in the lead up to the Beijing Olympics, means he is in great demand. Anyhow, enough from the webmaster, it is over to Frogan.

With 1st Grade at Chatswood, this famous stand may need to be hastily relocated

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A new season! A new President, new Secretary, new players, renewed enthusiasm ' Frogan has not been so excited since he rolled in a 25 ft putt at Royal Melbourne Golf Club in 1983 to qualify for the Australian Open (which he led into the second day until cruelly struck down with tendonitis in his neck and which ultimately brought a premature end to a stellar golfing career).

Many new players in the various grades but some great new talent. Frogan remembers Jack Ritchie's dad, Mike, as a dogged higher order batsman about 15 years ago whose fighting spirit contributed to two Gordon premierships. These qualities appear to have been passed from father to son and Frogan is sure that Jack will have a successful career at the Stags.

One of Frogan's favourite players, Gareth Wright is back playing after a serious back injury. Gareth is a fantastic clubman who always puts in a big effort and it is hoped that he'll have a great season.

The Fifth Grade team is particularly interesting. With the retirement of Tweety Gray, the average age of the team has dropped by 14 years. Frogan once captained a team where several players, including Hoppa Howitt, had to leave the games early so they could get home in time to watch The Muppets at 5.30pm before bedtime, but this side is probably just as young. However, they can all play good cricket!

Some interesting news about Gordon connections over in England. Matthew Nicholson, who has regularly acknowledged Frogan as the person who has had the greatest positive effect on his career, has had a great season with Surrey, being their leading wicket taker as well as scoring some useful runs. Surrey have maintained their position in the County Championship Division One ' something that did not look possible early on, having lost all their games before Nicho arrived. Frogan remembers Nicho as a callow beanpole of an 18 year old playing for Gordon in the lower grades in between school commitments.

When he played his first game in the top grade (straight from 3rds ' do not pass go, do not collect $200) he was immediately involved in a thrilling last wicket victory. With Gordon nine down and needing one or two runs to win, Nicho was given out stumped but it was clear (to everyone except the visually impaired umpire) that the wicketkeeper had dropped the ball. The wicketkeeper appeared to have no problems with claiming the wicket (probably worked on the 'one hand, one bounce' catching philosophy also) but with a great uproar off the field (Frogan in fact had to be restrained from jumping the fence and confronting the gloveman himself), the sheepish fellow conceded that he may not have gloved the ball correctly. So Nicho was recalled and promptly won the game for Gordon.

However (''ay, there's the rub'' Hamlet III, I) one of the great injustices in modern sport followed. A journalist from a Sydney radio station attending the game, saw what happened and told one of his station's talkback hosts who, the next morning, began describing this wonderful act of generosity and sportsmanship by the keeper as something akin to John Landy in the 1956 Australian Championships 1500 metres stopping to help a fallen Ron Clarke before running on and winning the race!* The wicketkeeper was practically awarded the Nobel Peace Prize! Talkback radio ' nothing's changed. Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

Another former Gordon player has excelled in England recently also. Danny Leech ' a top bloke and pretty fair bat ' scored 202 in the Final of the Minor Counties Championship last week to help Cheshire to a convincing win. Apparently Leechy, in accepting the Man of the Match Award, referred to Frogan several times as the person who instilled in him the toughness and determination to keep battling and not throw his innings away.

Fine art, wine and women - A dear friend of Frogan, Graham Mackie, is in his element

And, while on the topic of the Old Dart, the Club welcomes the son of one of England's best to the ranks. Jim Gatting's dad, Mike, was a fantastic bat and excellent captain of the English side in the days when they used to beat Australia. Frogan was actually walking his dog up at Killara Oval last Sunday (with his pooper-scooper and plastic bag!) while Jim was batting and was amazed by the similarity between father and son's style. Gatting senior had a season or two with the club formerly known as Balmain back in the 70's. He scored many runs as well as taking over 50 wickets with his sneaky meds and ran away with the Sydney Morning Herald Best and Fairest. Good luck, Jim.

Another Englishman, Sam Powell is also welcomed to the club. Sam, from Cambridgeshire, is currently teaching at Knox Prep, under the watchful eye of the Headmaster, Bob Thomas, one of Gordon's finest (see transcript of Dick Guy's speech at the Centenary Dinner). Frogan actually read Law at Cambridge University before coming back to Australia to practise in a prestigious Sydney law firm so he knows Sam's neighbourhood well.

It's all to look forward to. Some early wins will set the club up for a big year!

Dan Frogan

(* Ironically this was the scene of one of the Frogan family's proudest sporting achievements. Dan's father, Dick, won the 100 and 200 metres and was placed in the 400 metres. He would have participated in the Melbourne Olympics but it was harvest time on his property in Western NSW and his strong work ethic ' he saw his athletics activities as very much a pastime ' meant that the crops took priority and they had to be in for the family to survive. A cruel blow, as his times were world class!)

Dan Frogan No.10

Well is it any surprise that after such a long drought in first grade, where several wooden spoons were collected, and only a year after a certain UNSW player commented that Gordon were the worst club in the competition, that the Stags have returned to their rightful place near the top of the tree in the year that Frogan actively returned to his old stomping ground.

(Brendan McDonald at a Green Shield game)

It is not since 1991 that Frogan managed the Steve Mervyn Day skippered side has a Gordon side made such a big turn around to reach the semi-finals. And not since Big Boris Hayne, another with whom Frogan spent hours on the phone discussing tactics, politics and philosophy, captained the side in 1993 have the Stags been involved in matches in the latter part of March.

The way in which Gordon secured their spot has been magnificent, beating Balmain, Northern Districts, Mosman and North Sydney to be the undisputed premier side on the North Shore. Before anyone contacts the website, Manly is not on the North Shore but the "Penninsula".

However, the win against the "Bears" as they now like to be know was especially sweet. A club that has caused our club great heartache in the last 10 years as very strong sides initially in green, red and yellow and lately in red and black made life miserable, were treated to a passionate rendition of "A Gordon for Me". A song reworked by Frogan in the late 70's, it was appropriate that he was in the rooms on Saturday to shake the Thompson Stand to its foundations.

It was all the more impressive that the side was able to concentrate on cricket on either day, as their collective minds were initially on the Desperate & Dateless Ball and then, much more importantly for Brendan McDonald, the following week's beef cake festival that is the Gay and Lesbian Madi Gras. It struck Frogan, the undisputed winner of Gordon's "Body of the Year" in 1978 and equal winner with Jim Catlin in 1973, that McDonald makes a big fuss about not that much. Sure, the wavy hair is there, the masculine silhouette of a bull adorns his upper right arm, an all over tan that Tony Wilson has worked his whole life for and he shows an inclination for nudity, second only in Gordon's long history to Richie Brown.

McDonald's upper body resembles that of a 14 year old. It is certainly not the trunk that would have held a candle to Catlin in 1973. Nevertheless, McDonald appears to need no invitation to show off his androgenous form whenever the temperature gets above 12 degrees. Perhaps the real reason that he coached the Green Shield team this season is that those boys have chests only slightly bigger than his own.

(Dan Frogan (partly obscured) provides advice to Greg Chappell and Sachin Tendulkar in India)

Despite the bravado and the penchant for not wearing clothes, it has definitely been a good move for the ex-Bear this season. Certainly the addition of Simmons and Zelma have assisted in turning around the fortunes of the team and, with it, the club in general. It was difficult to hide the smile on Frogan's face, even during the tense India-Pakistan test series, where, as previously mentioned he acted as Greg Chappell's spiritual advisor, to see the two tee totallers continue to put big numbers on the board. Strange because, in the 70's, anyone who didn't drink was more likely to have been on a float with McDonald on Oxford Street than playing under the banner of the famous stag. How times have changed but surely changed for the better. Frogan will be pleased to celebrate with a carrot juice with a bloody* straw in it, if the Belvedere Cup comes home, so long as it has a vodka chaser.

Frogan, a founding member and event planner of the Desperate & Dateless Ball (he claims that it is just one big B & S Ball that he and blokes like Jim Cameron used to attend) was pleased to see the Gordon boys resplendent in their regalia.

(Dan Frogan at last years D&D ball)

It was particularly pleasing to see Matt Michael wearing his Gordon Cricket Club tie; although the green, maroon and silver really clashed with the pink shirt. Further, apparently there is no truth to the rumour that Livermore was seen leaving with club supporter Melanie discussing the trials and tribulations of spending time in hospital. Apparently they were just seen leaving together. Whatever the truth, the liaison certainly agreed with Livermore, who smote the Bears second grade attack to ever part of Bingham's Ring.

So, onward to post-season cricket, where the first grade team and the Colts will hopefully be joined by 2nd grade and 5th grade, who are counted upon to have strong victories and be on a roll come next week. No doubt Howitt and Storey, who have thus far led their outfits with equal measures of nous, determination and panach' (certainly better than Kelly's consistent but ultimately unsuccessful season), would do worse than to have Frogan's telephone number close at hand in the days leading into this crucial weekend.

* in light of the UK censor's view of the Australian Tourism Board's latest advertising campaign it should be made plain that the inclusion of this word is not meant to offend any British people who may be reading this article.

Dan Frogan No.9

When Frogan penned the words to the club's victory song, based on the ditty of Scotland's Highland Light Infantry, he included "Northern Districts" as our fierce (but certainly not bitter) rivals and "Randwick". In Frogan's wisdom of the time, it was considered that Randwick may as well be in the song because it was so rare that the song was sung after an encounter at Coogee, such has been that club's strength. Accordingly, for first grade to beat both clubs in the same week is simply fantastic. The way that the first grade side managed to defend a relatively small total against a strong club in Northern Districts, without its incumbent state players, was a great sign. It's demolition of Randwick-Petersham was just great.

(Ed Zelma celebrates his century this season)

It did not go unnoticed by Frogan, in Pakistan to witness the bat-a-thon that comprises that series, as spiritual guru to Greg Chappell and his all-Australian Indian coaching team, that it has been Ed Zelma who was instrumental in both of these fixtures, with bat and ball and certainly with his shrewd captaincy. Following years of hard work to shake the tag of "flashy party boy", a tag that has surely been assumed by this season's Green Shield coach, Zelma is fast becoming recognised as one of the premier players in the competition. "Erratic, inexperienced and hungover" has been replaced by "fast, fit and thoughtful". Frogan's hard work in the sand hills and in colluding with Zelma's better half to get him off the booze, is a major factor in a first grade resurgence this season.

That resurgence sees a very important weekend of games, against the Black Cats of Penrith and the final one-day round game prior to the semi finals against the Whales of Mosman. Victory in these games would go some distance to securing a home semi-final in the one-day competition and the dream at the beginning of the season of a semi-final position in the overall competition being a step closer. Standing in the way of Gordon's charge on Sunday will be two players who counted amongst the Stags' number the last time the first grade side brought silverware back to Chatswood.

Frogan's lasting impression of Warwick Adlam and John Davison together is, coincidentally, after the grand final win against Mosman in 1990/1991.

(John Davison playing for Canada in the World Cup)

Frogan had just been introduced at the old Gordon Rugby Club (located about where Babies Galore is now situated) to present the "Dr D. O. A. Frogan Medal", struck for the best Gordon player in a winning Gordon first grade grand final, when Adlam and Davison came tumbling down the stairs (located about where Time Zone is now situated or at least where the butcher with all the dead ducks is) fighting over a mounted Stags head. Whilst it would have been preferable for these two to have remained under the Tartan banner, it has amused Frogan to see the maturing of these two past Stags. Davison has gone on to play for Canada in a World Cup in 2003, scoring the fastest ever World Cup hundred (against the West Indies) and the third fastest ever World Cup fifty (against New Zealand). Just as impressive was his match return of

17 for 137 against the USA in the ICC's Intercontinental Cup, the best figures in a first class game since Jim Laker. At the same time, Adlam has lost all of his hair, which is also surely a sign of maturity. It will be good to catch up with these important men in the Club's history on Sunday at the picturesque Rawson Oval.

It was disappointing for the Green Shield side to lose the toss on a wet wicket against Campbelltown, which appears to have been the most influential incident in the game. It will be an experience that will hopefully serve to make the players stronger in their collective resolve to win premierships with Gordon. However, Frogan remains dubious as to the whether the side would have been able to win the competition in any event, considering it's coach is still not purged of his time playing for North Sydney. That purging may occur with a victory at North Sydney Oval in three round's time. If it does Frogan will be in the rooms to sing his famous old chorus that all opponents have heard.

(B-Mac and Midnight at the Green Shield)

Dan Frogan No.8

Dan Frogan No. 8

Frogan smiled from high in the Sydney University grandstand late on Saturday afternoon. His words of wisdom to the combative Nicholson prior to the start of play were coming to fruition. "Sydney Uni are long in talent and will be thrown by a shortened game; and, by the way, why don't you give that kid O'Neill-Fuller a go with the ball. He looks like he could be your answer to Andrew Symonds". And so it was, with fantastic fight and high skill levels getting the team home.

(A great call to suggest JOF take to the crease)

The last time that Frogan saw a Gordon victory over the Varsity in first grade was at Killara in round six of season 1996/1997, when Gordon were completing their best ever start to a season since the Great War. Sydney Uni became victim six, but Gordon won only one more game for the season.

That day in 1996 was also a low scoring, closely fought game, largely thanks to a wicket that had been "laser-levelled", the buzz word in world cricket at that time. Amongst the Stags number were Moss, Toohey, Dixon, Morrison and a loud-mouthed wicket keeper called McGregor. Nicholson had recently moved west, Hayne had returned to Drummoyne, Stobo was enjoying everlasting retirement and the likes of Livermore and Sherman (then only 30) were still fighting their way up the grades, under the tutelage of Frogan at practice every second Thursday. Sydney Uni were certainly not the side that they have been over the last four seasons and Gordon had only just ended a run of five consecutive appearances in the four team semi finals, which resulted in two premierships and three consecutive years of finishing second in the club championship. It surely demonstrates how fleeting reputations are in this competition and that fortunes are able to be quickly turned with dedication and a willingness for "working hard"*.

Certainly the song that was belted from the away dressing rooms as the thoughtfully named "Number 1 Oval" at Sydney University was rendered with such feeling as to warm up the coldest of winter evenings.

Frogan learned with surprise of the immediately effective retirement of Reynolds during the week. Only 180 runs short of his goal of scoring 5000 runs for the club, it was disappointing that he was not able to reach the milestone. However, if he had carried his form over the previous two seasons and an extended overseas trip had not cut into his season and a dog had not bitten him on the face, the club may well have seen Reynolds make the honour board. Perhaps it may have helped had he played more than 12 of the last 21 seasons.

(Marty with last season's 4th grade trophy)

A young Reynolds first came to Frogan's attention as a ginger-haired flashy and brash 15 year old playing Green Shield. Reynolds graduated to the senior club, before breaking into first grade as a 19 year old. Two short years after making his debut Reynolds, citing a now common theme of work commitments, confided in Frogan that he was scared of the ball. Frogan employed his world renowned skills of sports psychology, then in its infancy in Australia, but it was a lost cause and the young, thin Reynolds was temporarily lost to the club. He returned from "breaks" on a number of occasions and invariably found himself in teams that played in grand finals.

Perhaps this was no coincidence.

One of the worst sledgers that Frogan has ever encountered, having the misfortune of hearing Reynolds at close quarters when he managed the Australian Indoor Cricket Team in the late 80's and early 90's, it was a more subdued man who played his last game for the club last Saturday.

Reynolds is now more interested in "bringing through the youth of the club", like Stobo, and having a beer with the opposition but Frogan recalled an unfortunate incident during a second grade game at Hurstville Oval in 1992/1993, when he was nearly clubbed to death by an infuriated batsman who had dual misfortune to be in Reynolds path and an association with Mark Waugh. A long-standing injunction prevents publication of the incident in any more detail. Needless to say, it is an allegation that Reynolds now vehemently denies, although he makes clear that he has never meant any offence to Australia's fourth highest run-getter.

Reynolds has been a good club man and Frogan is adamant that his like should be encouraged at this club. Well at least his like without any defamatory comments about the choice of life partner of any test cricketers. However, let's not go overboard, despite his best efforts, he is not dead and any further space dedicated to his cricket could render him unbearable.

And so to one of this club's greatest on-field foes. The gum tress of Waitara, the team that curiously has adopted a tune as their club song that is sung by a soccer team from Woy Woy. Until recently, the song named the Central Coast hamlet in favour of any reference to the northern-most of Sydney's suburbs.

Northern Districts have long since been a fierce competitor and the clubs have swapped a number of players over the years. The likes of Cant, Toohey, Day, Liggins and recently Hokin saw the light and found their way to Chatswood, whilst Rowan McGregor, Phil Gregson, Adam and Dean Gilchrist and the current Mayor of Hornsby (who will captain fourth grade this weekend) left to join the Hornsby club. However, quite possibly the biggest loss to Gordon was that of former Australian captain Mark Taylor from under its nose, when he was playing for Lindfield and was the school captain of Chatswood High School.

(Michael Cant came from ND's to Gordon)

This is a very big round for the club, facing its two biggest rivals in the next four weeks, it is a chance for Gordon to stamp its authority as the premier north shore club. After watching the other game at Sydney Uni on the weekend at the aptly named "Number 2 Oval", Frogan's hot tip is for the desperately unlucky 3rd grade side to commence an unlikely run at semi-final cricket with a greatly overdue win. This team has on four occasions had teams in the top four 9 wickets down and has not been able to sneak home in any of them. A strong performance from them will set the tone for the rest of the club to bring home the points.

In a further boost to 3rd grade's chances, Mark Wiese will be back the following match to lead the team after his weekend nuptials and recovery from his Thumb injury. Frogan, who was the reserve celebrant at the event, reports that the proud groom was resplendent is his brown suit with frilled blue shirt and the lovely Jessica looked stunning as can only have been expected. Congratulations Mark and Jessica.

*In the instance that anyone from another planet may be reading this article, the term "working hard" seeks to connote that a player or a group of players (commonly referred to as a team) engages in a sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result and engages in that sustained physical or mental effort with great energy, intensity or persistence.

Dan Frogan No.7

Well the editor got most of it right. It is certainly true that the guru, whose moniker this column bears, has been extremely busy over the last 4 weeks. It seems that everyone has wanted a piece of him and this writer knows first hand the benefit that can be gleaned from having Frogan in your corner. However, Frogan was called in late by the skipper of "Koomooloo" to lend his knowledge of competing in the great ocean race. Needless to say, at the time of writing, "Koomooloo" was leading its division, about 150 nautical miles from Constitution Dock.

Frogan, in true Frogan style, has not neglected his beloved club and even had time to bash out some notes from "Koomooloo's" nerve centre over the last few days.

There are a number of current issues at the club that Frogan has targeted for comment. The first is the fantastic start to the season that the AW Green Shield team has made to the season. These young men are the future of Gordon cricket club and it is wonderful to see them making an early impact to the competition but, more importantly, adding points to the club championship. Frogan said that looking at the way these young men play reminds him of Ken Eastwood in his heyday for the club. The player who would move south to Victoria before playing his lone test in Sydney against England in 1971, scored this club's highest individual score in Green Shield when he plundered 320 in the early 1940s. Frogan mused that he saw much of a young Eastwood in Angus Sinclair's swashbuckling innings of 99 against Parramatta. Much is expected of this highly talented bunch.

Quite what the affect of Green Shield coach Brendan McDonald will have on this young troop is anyone's guess. All the singing, celebrating and general shenanigans for which McDonald is known are fine; but never let us forget that McDonald is from North Sydney. The fact that he saw the light, after a false start 12 months ago is fine, but let's not rush things. Surely McDonald requires an intensive education process before he is let loose on our future.

(Dinner for Hoppa surpassing 350 wickets)

And speaking of "McDonald" and "loose" in the same sentence, Frogan was pleased to be present at a dinner prior to Christmas and the start of the Sydney to Hobart to mark Ed Howitt Jnr's eclipsing of selector Tony Wilson's aggregate of wickets for the club. Many thought that the dinner was to mark the passing of the 350 wicket milestone; but Wilson is far more consumed by himself than that and the celebration had to involve some homage to young Ant Wilson and his right arm door knobs. Enough strokes have been dedicated to Howitt this year to cause repetitive strain-type injury to a number of contributors to the website. This writer could not be bothered keying anymore, but Frogan wanted to reiterate his admiration of a player who tries so hard as a "spinner" and yet rarely turns it off square.

The dinner at a well known restaurant in Crows Nest, one of Wilson's favourites, presumably due to the size of the proprietors' moustaches, was apparently of exceptional quality. Meals were of sublime quality and so big that each of the attendees was barely able to finish, before rolling out the door at circa 11.45pm, three days before Christmas.

Many had a night cap before retiring except for the club captain, club fitness trainer and dazzling young club import who were found to be still awake and still having a few sociables at 6pm the next evening. It is an example that Frogan thinks augurs well for the club and if it does not bring back memories of Keith Miller, it must then surely see performances repeated the like of Andrew Symonds in the Melbourne test, following his breach of curfew in England recently. Wilson was not amongst those who partied away as he had a rendezvous with his sun bed planned for 9.30am on Friday. Interestingly, neither was McDonald despite a comparable performance after the Christmas party, instead McDonald helped guide home his boys against the Whales of Mosman the following day. Very responsible indeed.

Gordon's playing record in the game after Christmas has been suspect in the last few seasons. However, Frogan recognises a huge chance for the club to build significant momentum with a solid performance against last season's club champions in Sydney University. Certainly Sydney Uni have been a very strong club over the last few seasons, being the beneficiaries of a number of undergraduates being available to join the club. In 1994/95 Sydney Uni expressed their pleasure to snare the services of Kelly, when he was a then Gordon second grader. In contrast, the good fortune that the club has had in finding the likes of Magill, Phelps, Mail and this season Clark deciding to study at the Broadway campus is quite simply remarkable. In any event, a good performance against SUCC is attainable by all teams.

It is with great interest that Frogan awaits the 2006 part of this season.

He is desperately looking forward to the continuing march of Craig Simmons towards Charlie Macartney's single season run record, a record as many know that is close to Frogan's heart. (Macartney scored 824 runs in 1914/15, Craig is on 573)

(Charlie Macartney and Craig Simmons...if the cap fits...)

Many good judges thought that the 1976/77 season was ripe for Frogan to mount his own plunge on the record. However, a shocking concussion suffered by Frogan when his unbuttoned shirt failed to stop the huge medallion that he was sporting hitting him in the head and forcing to retire hurt on 0*. He did not play another game during the season and, as it turned out, he never played agian for Gordon on a regular basis as his other talents called him away from Chatswood Oval on a regular basis.

Dan Frogan No.6

Dan Frogan No. 6

Frogan has been in the country putting the finishing touches to the NSW under 17 squad. As assistant manager it is important that Frogan leave no stone unturned in ensuring that the strongest squad is put together to continue a very successful history that NSW has in this competition.

Despite his hard work in towns from Deniliquin to Dapto, Frogan was pleased to note a successful weekend against the Lions of Fairfield. To overtake them on the Club Championship ladder is certainly no mean feat. First grade being back in the winner's circle against a team that boasts a virtual first class attack was great to see, particularly when defending a small total.

(Steve "Stan" Smith)

It augurs well for the fact that the club is playing their cricket in "true Gordon style". Fairfield has traditionally been a very tough club on an off the park and Frogan recalls being at a game in the early '90's when Stobo, returning from his first "retirement", went toe-to-toe with current Stags batting guru "Stan" Smith.

The game began comically with the two youngest members of the Stags' side, Nicholson and Kelly got stuck behind a Hells Angles' charity rally that had blocked Roberts Road, which saw them arrive at the Fairfield Oval (Rosedale had had not yet been reclaimed from landfill) 10 minutes prior to the start of play. Hayne won the toss and elected to bat and Gordon limped to a meagre score of 180. The score was not improved by the Stags' number 11, who bemoaned the fact that lower order batsmen always received harsh treatment despite the fact that he had been moved his front foot no further than the popping crease to the straightest of deliveries.

Determined to make his mark in the game he charged out and took new ball in hand and demanded an attacking filed, which saw only Michael Cant at bat pad and Steve Day at mid-off, in front of the wicket. A place even had to be found for known useless-behind-the-wicket Kelly. With Emery and "Buckets" Hayne in the team, the solution was to stick Kelly at first slip! Right on cue an edge was produced by the opening batsman that was making a bee-line for Kelly's belly button, only to see Emery dive in front to pouch the catch. The number three also obliged with the same shot, which again threatened Kelly's relatively smaller stomach, only to see the ginger flash of Hayne fly in front of him to take the chance. Kelly thought how easy this first slip caper was. After this day, on Frogan's strongest recommendation, Kelly has never occupied the position again.

(Emery the younger)

Smith, with the bravado that saw him open the innings for his country against the likes of Marshall, Garner and Holding at Sabina Park in the Carribean summer of 1983/84, informed Stobo, "Richard, despite the deep peril that my teammates and I appear to in, I would counsel you that it is my sincere opinion that us few, us happy few will surely prevail".

Stobo reposed, "F***off Smithy". Frogan has always been disappointed with the response, having taught Stobo whilst a temporary English Master at Knox College in 1979 and believes that the interchange should have been far more eloquent. Although, Stobo's report card for English in that year of World Series Cricket read "Richard could do better". Indeed.

However, Smithy was ultimately left with little alternative other than to take Stobo's petulant advice as the Stags won a hard-fought, low-scoring encounter.

Frogan has been able to draw parallels with the hard-nosed cricket that was played that day by Gordon and the kind of cricket being played by the club at the present time. Gordon is currently playing very consistent and tough cricket but cricket is a funny game and whilst second and sixth grade are up near the top of the table third grade have been extremely unlucky to have garnered no points from the last three games that they have lost by a combined total of 2 wickets. The tough spirit that these two grades particularly are playing with must be maintained. Fourth grade are suffering a tough patch at the present time, which is hardly surprising, considering the amount of cricket that they have missed. However, the team is well lead by Stuart Brand and the results must surely come with this talented group of cricketers.

The Hobbits of the (Sutherland) Shire pose the same the challenge, sitting a mere 20 ahead in seventh place. Sutherland have been a very strong club in the last decade and after a couple of years of lesser performances appear to be regaining the position of fielding strong teams across the board.

Frogan was excited about the impending debut of Jeremy Cashman in first grade. Sagely, Frogan noted that in the last two and a half seasons Cashman, with a straight front-legged driving style that moved Frogan to compare the young man from Sydney's catchment area with his own commanding style at the crease, has scored hundreds in each grade from fifth grade to second grade, including a triumvirate of centuries in second grade in under a season and a half. It is a just reward for effort and should go to show each and every player that has considered that he is playing in a grade beneath that which he should that runs and wickets are the only language to which selectors listen. Good luck on Sunday Cashy.

(Cashy is happy about his century last round)

Dan Frogan No.5

Frogan has been difficult to get hold of this week, to give his thoughts on the very important upcoming round 5 clash against Hawkesbury. He has been in various parts of Asia to study the affects of a possible bird flu pandemic on the ability of young Australian bowlers to produce enough minty saliva to make the ball go "Irish", in order that Australia might be some hope of regaining the Ashes.

Apparently, Frogan approached Nathan Bracken for his experiences, Bracken having played badge cricket in Laos in the off season of 2001. However, no sooner had he provided his opinion, then he withdrew it as a "joke". Simon Jones was also approached, as the bird flu, has very similar affect to the "black lung", suffered by so many of the boyos of Cymru but he offered a feeble response that it was just part of the game. Waqar Younis had ideas about how to use the bird flu to a bowler's advantage, but Frogan was not interested in what Waqar appeared to be pedalling.

But to Hawkesbury and Frogan recalls a time in the season of 1975-76, prior to the Hawks being part of the grade competition, that he as a member of a combined Richmond XIV, as was the customary number of players in frontier town cricket up until the 80's. The team, all 15 (as naturally Richmond had a 15th man) consisted of 14 Halls and a ram called Gerald, who was a handy number 6 and bowled left hoof orthodox. The game was convivially played, as is usually the case in that part of the world, at the historic Richmond Park. When Hawkesbury became a grade cricket club it was assumed that the team would be based at Richmond Park but due to the short boundaries and possible also an unfortunate incident involving Gerald, possibly encouraged by a distant relative of the Hall's, at an official Mayoral reception in 1978, appears to have precipitated a ban on the new club using the ground.

(James Packman)

Grade cricket need not have worried about the facilities as the Hawkesbury Club have done a magnificent job of developing 3 grounds that are adjacent to each other (the only club in Sydney to have this) in nearby Benson's Lane, including the main ground, recently named in the honour of Owen Earle, Hawkesbury's first president, and one time Captain of the Freeman's Reach Brigade of the NSW Rural Fire Service. It is a fantastic cricket wicket where shots can be played all around the ground. Frogan recalls many fine innings played at the ground by Gordon players over the years, including Stefan Hutton's well made 17* in second grade in 1991, made under absolutely no pressure but punctuated by two shots that came within metres of the fence. However, Frogan has seen none better than James Packman's hundred last season. Frogan drummed into Packman the mantra that good balls should be respected but anything loose on such a true surface have to go and go they did. By the end of the innings even the good balls were being harshly treated. Frogan said that he was looking forward to getting news over the phone in Laos of yet another master performance at the ground this season.

Whilst talking on the phone from Laos, as opposed to catching up at the usual corner of the Greengate Hotel, for his thoughts on cricket and life, Frogan was reminded of another phone call that he had made in 1992. Frogan had removed himself to the mountains to train at altitude (something that became fashionable for all athletes some years later) in preparation for what would be a gruelling tilt at the NSW continuous highland dancing record. As keen as ever as to the fortunes of the club, Frogan called Killara Oval and asked for the one man who could give the right analytical summation of the game, Richard Stobo. The voice at the other end of the phone, who apparently sounded a great deal like Mark O'Neill said "Richard's just going out to bat. He won't be long, would you like to hold?" It still makes Frogan smile to this day because, at STD rates, waiting for Stobo cost him 37 cents.

(Richard Stobo returning to take his call)

It was fantastic to see that Ed Howitt Junior has now finally passed selector Tony Wilson's number of victims in grade cricket for Gordon. Howitt also overtook long-time club and team mate, Kurt Morrison. Frogan reckons that the only difference between these three loyal servants of the club is that Morrison used to spin it. It seems pretty harsh to make that sort of assessment but Frogan has not become one of the most respected antique dealers in Australia by doing anything other than calling it as he sees it. On a side note, Howitt's delivery that took wicket 349 has been dubbed "Dermot". It didn't spin but such an important delivery must surely also deserve to be named.

Frogan passed on his congratulations to Brad Rasool, who is making his first grade debut for the club, after a hundred in round two and to John "I am not the Devil" O'Neill-Fuller, who is in fantastic form and deserves an opportunity to stamp his authority in first grade. It is certainly great to see that batsmen are taking opportunities and scoring runs. There is no clearer message given by the selectors that batsmen will be promoted, in this case even into a side that is a little unlucky to be 3 wins from 4 starts, if you make scores. It has been a pretty good season for batting pitches across Sydney thus far.

(Hoppa "passing" Kurt Morrison)

The bowlers will get favourable conditions soon enough; batsmen cash in now! It is a massive chance to get another great round of results but every player must ensure that he does everything that he can. Possibly import a chicken from Thailand or Cambodia to get the ball to go Irish. Every little bit of effort must help.

Anonymous

Dan Frogan No.4

Dan Frogan No 4

It has been a very busy and yet successful week for the club. Nine wins from nine games played in the last two rounds has been a healthy return. However, to be where this proud club should be, Parramatta and Blacktown are clubs that should be dealt with.

This round poses a more significant challenege when the Waratahs of Manly come calling. Frogan, currently the Australian Women's Cricket team's slips fielding psychologist, counsels that if the club puts in the effort that it has demonstrated over the last fortnight, anything can happen.

(Stephenson the older bowling to Marshall Rosen at Manly)

Finally, after four rounds, Frogan has encountered a side that he actually played against. By the time that Frogan played first match at Manly Oval, Peter "Percy" Philpott had just finished his 14 year reign. Instead Frogan ran into Manly's favourite son Mick Pawley, who was at the height of his powers as a cricketer.

The records of that match have been lost and modesty precluded Frogan from sharing with me what must have been an important contribution. Frogan did share with this column the day, some seasons later, when current selector and photographer Stephenson the Older, bowling from the southern end of the ground, was awarded the wicket of Gordon's second most valuable batsman (after Frogan) and current committee member Marshall Rosen. Frogan, standing at the other end, remembers how Rosen protested his innocence and cited a broken bat handle. To this day Rosen pleads that he was robbed!

Keeping with the Manly theme, Frogan recalls that moving into the 1980's Gordon welcomed a young spinner from the Manly called Chris Hinds. A spinner and a batsman Hinds played with a the Stags for a number of years at about the same time that a young Richard Stobo had burst on to the first grade scene, not long out of Knox College.

On one particular day at Chatswood Oval (for those that are unaware Chatswood Oval is a ground at which Gordon used to play) Frogan enjoyed telling a story of preparation. Those in the dressing room on that day will recall that Stobo was entertaining the team with his nigh on boundless knowledge. That knowledge included the virtues, ahead of his time some say, of "slip, slop, slap". Stobo enquired of his teammates on this bright sunny day whether any of their number had any zinc cream. It was surprising to Frogan because when he started H B Taber had his shirt brazenly unbuttoned to his navel.

The former Manly man Hinds produced a inoccuous round tin of white cream. Without pause in his lecture, Stobo lavishly applied the white cream to his nose and before long he was out on the ground to do what he continues to do now in giving 100% for his club.

It struck Frogan as being quite strange that the "zinc" on Stobo's nose soon became clear and over the course of the day it appeared to become harder and shinier and before long it resembled a boot on an undergraute at Duntroon, such was its spit and polish. Frogan was tipped off that something was not quite right when the younger members of the Gordon side could barely contain themselves. Stobo toiled on, his nose growing ever harder and shinier. The end of six hours in the field saw the young Stobo, take his turn in the showers but much to his chagrin he was unable to remove the "zinc". Upon confronting the provider he realised that he had been done, when we saw Hinds polishing his shoes with the sun screen. Meltonian "sunscreen" to be precise. Oh Stobo, Frogan remembers it like it was yesterday.

In the pre-season Frogan was sad to learn that Todd the Younger had decide to leave the Stags and head back to where it all started at Manly. A father and son duo who have taken over 300 first grade wickets for the club, it is a loss and the end of an era but Frogan looks forward to catching up with Todd the Younger, having always enjoyed watching the Todd leg-spinning gene pool. However, the club has gained another Manly player over the off season in Danny Redrup and Frogan has a feeling that this will prove to be a good trade for Todd the Younger. A solid middle order batsman and nippy left armer, it is a combination that could prove extreme useful to the Stags in the next decade.

In other news it was good to see McDonald and Stephenson the Younger bowling to the World XI at training during the week. Particularly pleasing to Frogan was seeing the Prince getting "sniffed up" by Stephenson. However, Frogan was preturbed to read in Will Swanton's article in the Sydney Morning Herald on Wednesday morning:

(Stephenson the younger at Manly)

"Not that Lara batted too well. With only three short days to go before the Super Test, some bloke with a large belly and thinning hair - not Australian selector Merv Hughes, just some unknown net bowler - managed to knock over Lara's middle stump."

I think that Stephenson will accept that it may be getting a little thin on top, he may even accpet that he has a burly frame (a large belly is hard to

accept) but who the heck does Swanton think he is. He may not know Stephenson the Younger but Frogan does and that is what counts. Swanton should be reminded that Frogan was nominated for a Walkely award on the basis of superior writing skills and certainly by doing some research.

"Who's that?" is a question that most journalists are familiar with Swanton.

Quite frankly, Frogan was not impressed by some journalist who had an article about Brian Lara on page 36.

Good luck to fourth grade who seek to hold the Mal Hall Memorial trophy. Mal was a great club man who played his cricket with a great desire to win but most importantly he enjoyed every moment. There must surely be a case to make this trophy an award contested by all grades over the round.

Anonymous

Dan Frogan No.3

Dan Frogan No. 3

Frogan contacted this columnist after the weekend's round, in which the men from Chatswood took on yet another team that he had never heard of and yet instantly summed up. He was taken by a report from day one of the round, with respect to the twin pillars of Simmons and Zelma. You may recall that the report read:

"Spectators couldn't recall the last time two first grade players scored a century in the same innings, until politely reminded by a Phil Emery who recalled his record breaking partnership with Mark O'Neill when they both scored centuries in 1991."

(Mark O'Neill in action)

Frogan recalled the hype that surrounded that innings well. When O'Neill came into the sheds for yet another bunger at tea, absolutely exhausted, it was Frogan who pepped him up for what was to be a very special afternoon for the Stags. O'Neill was the previous record holder at the club for the most cigarettes smoked in a first grade innings for Gordon. The record was eclipsed in 2001-2002 when Tony Piccolo played an innings of 27. A young Kevin Roberts sat bemused in the corner of that Killara dressing room in 1991, as Frogan went to work on one of this club's finest players.

Roberts commented years later that it was rare to see O'Neill, by then a very experienced Sheffield Shield player (the prize that the states competed for prior to Blacktown playing grade cricket), seemingly hang on every word that Frogan uttered. Roberts, who recently scored the marketing coup of the season in signing Cricket Australia to use his company's apparel, but who at that time had only just graduated to wearing long white trousers, was taking it all in but also secretly hoped that the man who once held the record for the most centuries in consecutive Sheffield Shield matches would make a mistake so he could join the party that was W A Oldfield Oval, Killara that afternoon. Of course O'Neill was up to the task and nursed Emery through to his hundred.

However, the 1991 dressing room scene is not what prompted Frogan to draw the club's collective attention to the quote above. It was the fact that Frogan recalled being at Sutherland Oval in round two of season 1994/95 and saw Emery throw away the chance to join a young up an coming opening batsman who had scored his first (and last) first grade hundred. After the early loss of Hayne to some rooster called Stuart Clark, the current corpulent stand-in third grade captain had battled away with Emery, chasing down the Shark's score of 300 plus, when just after tea Emery took a wild swipe at Clark and was out for 88. Frogan has never seen a greater waste of an innings and it is hardly surprising that Emery has forgotten the day.

(A number of well know Gordon cricketers with Kevin Robert and Phil Emery in the front row and Warwick Adlam in the back. Is that Dan Frogan next to him?)

On enquiring of Frogan about his thoughts for the weekend's one-day fixtures against Parramatta, he was again at a loss. As with round's one and two he recalls only playing against Parramatta in the City and Suburban competition. The "two blues" that he played against, who counted John Benaud amongst their number, played under the banner of Central Cumberland.

However, saying this he was mightily impressed by the weekend's results and is of the unwavering view that the Highlanders can make it back-to-back clean sweeps if the application is there.

One thing that troubled Frogan was the fact that the celebration of two fine hundreds in first grade were not even met with the traditional skolling of a schooner. Has this club forgotten the second line of the its song? Let me remind you, "We're fond of Bacardi and a schooner or three". A schooner or three! Hell, we would even settle for a bloody Bacardi at this point! By the way, whoever is responsible for that line has some real explaining to do.

Perhaps it is just as well that McDonald now sits amongst first grade's number as it appears that he could probably do the drinking to celebrate three hundreds in a day. Gentlemen, it isn't a lifestyle choice as much as it is an obligation, like burping after a fine meal, or running nude around the pool table if you don't sink a ball or carrying on like an idiot on the field because you happen to be Jordan Holmes. Every man is expected to do his duty and this report can confirm that there were skolls in second, third and fifth grade. Congratulations to those involved, and I am told that Rasool was looking for more as he polished off his challenge with even better composure than his magnificent 156*.

(Brendan McDonald in action)

In any event, if that is the biggest controversy at the club at the moment then it is a controversy that should be welcomed. Until then, onward and upward.

Anonymous

Dan Frogan No 2

Dan kicks off the season and farewells the Hornet

Righto, let's get this straight; someone is yanking the Editor's chain. That was not Dan Frogan in the article introducing this column. As far as anyone knows there are no existing images of the great Australian, who amongst other things, holds the single day dog-sledding record in Antarctica. The Editor may be forgiven if it was an archived shot but, if it was, it has been mislabelled.

Further, it would be unprecedented and highly unlikely for a Walkely Award nominees to write regular articles about Sydney grade cricket teams, even a club with the obvious drawing ability of those who are wont to be off to Merewether at the finish of play. Whilst Frogan will give insights into the Stags' season 2005-2006, their opponents and matters of cultural importance, he will do so through the less able pen of another. Undoubtedly, Frogan would be ideal but when you pay peanuts you should not expect more than a monkey.

So to the coming season and it looks promising on the playing front. Despite some wet weather all of the teams look pretty strong and Gordon appear to have a great opportunity to make a winning start against Eastern Suburbs. At this point of the column it would be natural to turn to Frogan for his words of wisdom but firstly he recently has been called in to counsel the Australian cricket team and secondly he knows little about Eastern Suburbs. He did play at Waverley Oval against a team that donned yellow and blue and he dominated in the "back room" under the grandstand at the famous ground but he couldn't give an insight into any team called "Easts".

Easts will be a tough club to start against but it will serve as a good measuring stick to the newly perceived depth in the club. One day games are about good fielding, tight and disciplined bowling and batting in partnerships for the maximum number of overs. Frogan noticed, sitting near the scoreboard at Chatswood Oval over the last month, that the talent certainly exists in the Highland ranks to put scores on the board, whilst cautioning that a winning score cannot be made in the first 15 overs of a game, let alone the first 15 overs of a season. Frogan also gave some tips about which lures were likely to be successful when fishing for trout in various New South Wales rivers. He quite truly is all things to all people, Dr Frogan.

It should be mentioned that a befitting send off was given to last season's first grade skipper and wicket-keeper Richie Brown. The Hornet played 5 years at the club and scored nearly 2,000 runs batting anywhere from opener to number 8. A good clubman has been lost to Gordon but it opens a new opportunity to the likes of Rosen, Makepeace et al, to establish themselves as the next long term wicketkeeper at a club who in Oldfield, Taber, Emery and Gilchrist, have produced 4 players who have kept for Australia. Many think Frogan also kept wickets for Australia but it is only a rumour. He had enough commitments fielding at square third man, batting at sixth wicket down and acting as the team's masseuse to be able to put his full efforts into wearing the gauntlets as well.

Let's get off to a good start, score runs, take wickets and win some early games. It always argurs well for a season to hear the club song belted out from a number of successful dressing rooms, following which a few celebratory beers will be consumed at the Greengate. Finally, the good doctor observes: if you think that you are not in the right grade, you can change it. Score a hundred or take 5 wickets and the selectors must take notice. Good luck and may Frogan's good fortune be on your side.

Stags and the City

James Clarke, 28, originally lived in New York, was moved to LA through his job and has now been re-located (with the same company) back to New York and is the US correspondent for the Gordon District Cricket Club Website. His original column was called The Big Apple, this changes to LA Confidental and with his return to New York we now have a new name "Stags and the City"

Prior to living in the USA, James, often referred to as Clarkey, played at the GDCC between 1995-2002, representing mostly 4th and 5th grade teams. His highlights include captaining 5th grade in 1998-99 where he took 34 wickets, representing 1st grade as a sub fielder on over 10 occasions (taking two catches), serving as a committee member between 1998-2001 and having played one game of 2nd grade where he has an average of 50.

Despite moving to the USA, James regularly comes to Australia to cover stories for the website and his article, "Rosedalegate" in December of 2003, won a "Stag" nomination in the GDCC's annual awards for outstanding journalism.

James will be contibuting a bi-weekly column on life in the USA and his reflections of our great Club.

Here is his return article:

Let me begin by saying that without a 6th grade side you don't have a Cricket Club. One of the most pleasing aspects of this season so far has been the reintroduction of a Colts team. Many a great Stag has started their career there and many a great Stag has finished back there! Brett Rosen, Mitchell Kleem and I even think Packers once had a trot there just to mention a few. Not only does it blood future talent, but it offer attracts the players who are the soul of the club.

I'm also glad that Eddie Zelma came back to the club after a couple of years with the Dragons. He's now a seasoned veteran of first grade and his experience will be a tremendous boost to not only 1's but the club overall.

There I was a month ago shacked at Baker Street Tavern on 61st and 1st Avenue in New York watching the Swans outmuscle the Eagles, when my mind harked back to when the Swannies last made the big one. It was 1996, round 1 of the new cricket season and I had been selected in the 6th grade team to play Sydney Uni. Weren€t there some characters in that side? Iqbal, Dave Ballantyne and who could ever forget the "Rock Dog" Warren Charlton! I topped scored that day with 78 and from memory when selections where announced for Round 2, everyone was promoted to 5th grade except for me!

It€s was a great summer in the US; my best to date. I still haven€t bumped into "Crowbar" but I€m sure that€s just a matter of time.

It€s taken me a while to fill the void left after playing 8 seasons of grade cricket at the Stags, but I think I finally found it in golf. My job involves travelling all over the US every week and I always make sure I have the clubs with me.

(Clarkey and friend at Bethpage "Black")

The highlight so far has been playing Bethpage Black; a course in Long Island NY (about and hour out of Manhattan). It was the site of the US Open in 2002 and it will again be played there in 2009. For those of you aren€t golf nuts, this course has achieved iconic status since Tiger won there 3 years ago. Long a secret of golfers in New York, "The Black" was renovated in 1995 after it was decided it would hold the Open seven years later. The beauty of the course is that it€s a true "muni" which anyone can play provided they camp out in their car overnight or scramble for a tee time on an automated phone service. I€ve played there twice, and luckily enough we€ve got on by calling up. The other great thing is that it€s $US39 a round. Those of you who€ve played golf in the US, will realize that€s comparatively cheap given most courses of "The Black€s" caliber will cost anywhere between $USD250- $USD400.

For golf enthusiasts it€s a classic. Built in 1934 and designed by the famous golf architect A.W. Tillinghast, it measures 7300 yards long. Every par 4 is over 400 yards and yeah € there€s sand €everywhere. I spent more time in some of those bunkers than I spent on the beach growing up in Sydney! Just to make it harder, we decided to play off the US Open tees. After starting par, bogie, par I began to have allusions of grandeur and at one point thought of returning to the club house to ask if they had any application papers for the 2009 Open. Bad mistake!!!!! Double, Triple, Double bogie it went and well, the rest is history. I'd like to say that I played the course that Tiger won at and followed in his footsteps, but I don't think he spent too much time hunting down balls in the shin-high rough and thick bushland that surrounds each hole! Having played it twice, I now have new found respect for PGA players! Anyhow, if anyone is in the NY area and keen for a game, given me a call and I€d be happy to tee it up.

Oh € and my other good golf story this summer € a hole-in-one in Portsmouth, Rhode Island. I won€t go into any details because most of you that know me know that I hate to brag! 153 yard, par 3 uphill 9-iron if anyone€s interested!

This week sees the return of our First Grade side to Rosedale Oval, the scene of the now infamous €Rosedalegate€ where every drying implement known to man was used to dry a very wet wicket and give Gordon 40 overs to score 350 runs. The wicket was dangerous and we paid the price and a protest was lodged. This was the first entry of myself into the journalist ranks of the Gordon Website and my career in the USA hasn€t looked back since.

(Reporter Clarkey at Rosedale circa 2004)

Fortunately Rosedale was dug up not long after this game, was out of play all of last year and has now returned as an excellent wicket. Fairfield are to be congratulated for the work they have put in to recover the ground, however one wonders if they didn€t feel a little guilty that day in early 2004.

Good luck this weekend

Clarkey

Stags and the City No.1

There I was a month ago shacked at Baker Street Tavern on 61st and 1st Avenue in New York watching the Swans outmuscle the Eagles, when my mind harked back to when the Swannies last made the big one. It was 1996, round 1 of the new cricket season and I had been selected in the 6th grade team to play Sydney Uni. Weren't there some characters in that side? Iqbal, Dave Ballantyne and who could ever forget the "Rock Dog" Warren Charlton! I topped scored that day with 78 and from memory when selections where announced for Round 2, everyone was promoted to 5th grade except for me!

It's was a great summer in the US; my best to date. I still haven't bumped into "Crowbar" but I'm sure that's just a matter of time.

It's taken me a while to fill the void left after playing 8 seasons of grade cricket at the Stags, but I think I finally found it in golf. My job involves travelling all over the US every week and I always make sure I have the clubs with me. The highlight so far has been playing Bethpage Black; a course in Long Island NY (about and hour out of Manhattan). It was the site of the US Open in 2002 and it will again be played there in 2009. For those of you aren't golf nuts, this course has achieved iconic status since Tiger won there 3 years ago. Long a secret of golfers in New York, "The Black" was renovated in 1995 after it was decided it would hold the Open seven years later. The beauty of the course is that it's a true "muni" which anyone can play provided they camp out in their car overnight or scramble for a tee time on an automated phone service. I've played there twice, and luckily enough we've got on by calling up. The other great thing is that it's $US39 a round. Those of you who've played golf in the US, will realize that's comparatively cheap given most courses of "The Black's" caliber will cost anywhere between $USD250- $USD400.

For golf enthusiasts it's a classic. Built in 1934 and designed by the famous golf architect A.W. Tillinghast, it measures 7300 yards long. Every par 4 is over 400 yards and yeah ' there's sand 'everywhere. I spent more time in some of those bunkers than I spent on the beach growing up in Sydney! Just to make it harder, we decided to play off the US Open tees. After starting par, bogie, par I began to have allusions of grandeur and at one point thought of returning to the club house to ask if they had any application papers for the 2009 Open. Bad mistake!!!!! Double, Triple, Double bogie it went and well, the rest is history. I'd like to say that I played the course that Tiger won at and followed in his footsteps, but I don't think he spent too much time hunting down balls in the shin-high rough and thick bushland that surrounds each hole! Having played it twice, I now have new found respect for PGA players! Anyhow, if anyone is in the NY area and keen for a game, given me a call and I'd be happy to tee it up.

Oh ' and my other good golf story this summer ' a hole-in-one in Portsmouth, Rhode Island. I won't go into any details because most of you that know me know that I hate to brag! 153 yard, par 3 uphill 9-iron if anyone's interested!

This week sees the return of our First Grade side to Rosedale Oval, the scene of the now infamous 'Rosedalegate' where every drying implement known to man was used to dry a very wet wicket and give Gordon 40 overs to score 350 runs. The wicket was dangerous and we paid the price and a protest was lodged. This was the first entry of myself into the journalist ranks of the Gordon Website and my career in the USA hasn't looked back since.

Good luck this weekend

Clarkey

LA Confidential 2004-5 Season Reviews

LA CONFIDENTIAL 2004-5 SEASON REVIEWS

Reviews

Matt Todd promotes himself up the batting order to secure the Player of the Year trophy, helping many Fantasy Teams along the way

Results from Round 16 - Winner in Bold

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Eye on the ball as Chris punches one through point

Results from Round 15 - Winners in Bold

Round 16 allocations - Final

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Tristan Cooper punches one off the back foot

Results from Round 14 - Winners in Bold

Round 15 allocations - Semi Finals

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Harry Evans whips one over the top to continue accumulate points for his teams

Results from Round 13 - Winners in Bold

Round 14 allocations - Quarter Finals

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Possibly misclassified as a batsman, Ian Higgins takes a grade wicket!

Results from Round 12 - Winners in Bold

Round 13 allocations

Your Fantasy League Management Team

It's had not to put another photo of Benny Garratt up on the website after a hat trick!

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Yes Benny Garratt - Double points for BG as skipper as he takes 6 wickets!

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Although needing no introduction, Ed Howitt, one of our leading point scorers in 2011/12

Your Fantasy League Management Team

Rank

Team Name

Team Owner

Points

Name

Points

Michael Perry in action against Saints.

Adam Cubbage, James Kennedy and Blair Lindsay

Mohammed Asif - sentenced in a London court

Mohammed Aamer has appealed his sentence

Reece Bombas enjoys being the meat in the sandwich

Blair Lindsay, is this one of your girlfriends?

Celebrity cricketer - Avendano - is a hit with the ladies now more than ever!

A junior looking Ed Howitt Jnr

Missy

Stags and the City No.1

LA CONFIDENTIAL 2004-5 SEASON REVIEWS

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